What Would You Give Up Just To Have Peace In Your Home?

February 23, 2022February 22, 2022 RefreshHerLeave a comment

As a woman who loves to bake, I can tell you that there’s nothing more disheartening than baking up a new bread recipe then cutting a slice after it’s cooled only to find that it’s dry!

Ugh.

It’s frustrating to go to all that trouble only to have dry morsels fill your mouth like so many tumbleweeds in the desert. But did you know that God’s Word tells us that there is a time when dry bread can be a good thing?!

Proverbs 17: 1 says
Better is a dry morsel with quietness,
Than a house full of feasting with strife.

There is nothing appealing about a dry morsel to our taste buds, but God’s Word says the blessing of quietness and peace is so great, that it makes a dry morsel more desirable than moist bread, dipped in Olive oil!

This passage is saying that peace in the home is beyond all other material blessings. A home full of feasting is wonderful, until that home is full of strife. Have you experienced how hard it is to take a bite of anything when there’s strife and contention around the table? We all have.

If peace is so desirable, then what keeps us from having it? Why isn’t it permeating from our family relationships as it should?

There can be other causes, but ladies, God’s Word gives us several pictures in Proverbs that point the finger of strife in our direction. It’s a hard picture to look at because it’s very telling. This is convicting to my own selfish heart. Listen to ways we can destroy the peace…

A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Prov. 19:13

It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. Prov. 21:9

Prov. 25:24 It is better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Prov. 15:16, 17 Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure with turmoil.

Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, Than a fatted calf with hatred.

Listen to what is being traded in so that apeace can be found –

Strife
Quarrels
turmoil
brawling
hatred

What would a person take so they could enjoy quietness at home?

a corner of the housetop
a corner of the roof
just a little material goods
a dinner of herbs
a dry morsel

Love sweetens dry morsels
~Matthew Henry

If you’re realizing that there is little peace in your home, recognize that if you are a child of God, you have the Prince of Peace living in you! The Christ in you should permeate each relationship, allowing His peace to rule.

Ask the Lord if you’ve contributed to the strife by being contentious and quarrelsome. Be still and let His Spirit speak to you. Then humble yourself and make it right before God and also your family. Invite them to come in off the rooftop, and serve up some dry morsels, slathered with love. Peace will return.

P.S. It’s better for your pride to be hurt than your family destroyed.

Lovingly,

Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Conversational Respect in Marriage

March 17, 2021March 17, 2021 RefreshHer11 Comments

A young man who had recently lost his father was asked by a friend,

“What were your father’s last words before he died?“

“My father didn’t have any last words,” the son replied. “Mother was with him right up ’til the end!”

We laugh at a cute little story like that, but the sad truth is, that scenario is lived out in many, many marriages.

I remember once when we were on vacation, a woman and her husband were seated near me as I read at the poolside. The husband’s phone rang, and based on his (loud) conversation, he was talking to one of their adult children. The entire time this man was on the phone, his wife was telling him something he needed to say to their child. It was almost hilarious. The poor guy could hardly express his own thoughts into words because his wife was feeding him lines the whole time he was on the phone. I’m guilty of doing that on a bit of a smaller scale, but it’s still wrong.

Why is it wrong to talk over our husband, or talk for him? I believe it’s the respect issue that comes into play.

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How is respect shown when we remind him what to say, correct what he just said, or talk for him when he’s being talked to? The truth is, we are showing disrespect instead!

Respect is seen when we:

Give our husband a place of honor. In conversation, that place is to be still while he’s talking. We shouldn’t correct, interrupt, or answer for him. He is not our son – he is our husband.
Wait for him to answer – even if it seems like he’s NEVER going to come up with what he’s wanting to say. Many times he doesn’t speak because we are impatient and jump in too quickly. I’ve watched a man literally forming the words and begin to answer, but never be able to say his thoughts because the wife couldn’t wait that long!
Wait for him to finish talking with the other person before we share our thoughts or question. If he’s talking to someone else, we wait, then perhaps motion that we would like to add a thought or question, then wait for him to let us know when he’s able to listen.
Think long and hard about the need to correct him – even later. Unless it’s a serious faux pas that he needs to go back and make right, does it really matter that he said it was three years ago when he built the barn out back, but you know it was four years ago?! Ask if it’s something you can just let go of, and if it is, then do it!
Learn to listen. Be quiet and listen. Nod. Smile. If he’s telling his infamous joke again, let him have his moment of glory and don’t spoil it by exclaiming your disgust or disapproval.

Many husbands that don’t talk in marriage learned not to bother after years of disrespect from their wife. Show your husband honor in conversation and let him have the last words!

Prayer · Wife's Role

Fifteen Things To Pray For Your Husband

February 24, 2021February 23, 2021 RefreshHer1 Comment

Time to study and pray before the retreat began.

Hey friend, did you pray for your husband today?

“Well, of course!” you say,

but how specifically did you pray? It’s easy to pray for his safety and spiritual growth, but beyond that, we might not really know what to ask the Lord to do for him and in him.

Today I’m sharing a list of 15 things to pray for your husband, with Scripture verses to use as your prayer guide. For instance, as you pray that your husband lives in accordance to God’s plan for his life, according to Ephesians 4, you could pray,

Lord, as Paul, a prisoner of the Lord prayed that those at Ephesus would walk worthy of the vocation to which they’d been called, please help Dale to walk a life worthy of his calling to the ministry, to his calling as a husband, a father and a grandfather. May he serve with lowliness, meekness and longsuffering. Help him to forbear with others with Christlike love.

Praying in this way is powerful, because we are praying in God’s will from His Word. Here’s the whole list of requests and Scripture passages ~

Praying for your husband

That he lives in accordance with God’s plan for his life (Ephesians 4:1-2)
That he would lean on Christ in his trials (Psalm 46:1)
That he would be a man of integrity. (Prov 11:3)
That he would not fall to temptation. (I Cor. 10:13)
That he would be a man of prayer. (I Thess. 5:17)
That he would be a man of discernment. (Phil 1:9,10)
That he would love like Christ. (Eph 5:22-23)
That he would grasp his purpose in Christ. (Rom 8:28)
That he would trust the Lord to be his strength (Ps 28:7)
That he would be surrounded by godly men. (Prov 13:20)
That he would grow spiritually. (II Peter 3:17, 18)
That he would have a humble, teachable spirit (Proverbs 15:33)
That he would be quick to forgive (Ephesians 4:32)
That he would guard His Heart (Proverbs 4:23)
That he would continue to lead and that God would be glorified in your marriage (Ephesians 5:25-29)

Wouldn’t you want someone to pray specifically like that for you? It might even be a really good idea to show the list to your husband and let him know how you’re praying. What a sacrifice of love for your mate!

Print off this page and keep it in your prayer journal or Bible so it will be at your fingertips.

Refresh the heart of your husband with your prayers,

Encouragement · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

One Great Tool To Strengthen Your Marriage

November 13, 2020November 12, 2020 RefreshHer5 Comments

I’ve always been a huge fan and encourager of leaving love notes for your spouse. Why? Scripture says,

Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad. Proverbs 12:25

Our husband gets beaten down by the world, his own flesh and the devil. If we’re not giving them a “good word,” who is? We don’t want another woman giving him those words…that is our place and privilege!

A few months ago my friend and I were browsing through a store and she found the cutest pad of love notes from Dayspring and brought them over to me and said,

This looks like something you would love!

Was she ever right! Here’s the front of the pad…

Here’s the back…

Sample page…

I love that you can put the date on it, that it’s filled with a prayer and also Scripture verses. You can flip it over and write an additional note to your spouse in your handwriting…

There are 100 notes in this pad! They cover topics like noticing their burdens, their spiritual gifts being used, dreaming about the future, and sparks of loving romance. Of course you could come up with your own verses and prayers and write them on a card, but I have found the convenience of it already being written on the card, and also done so beautifully, really helps me be more mindful to leave them for my husband to find!

I’ve used this several times since purchasing it and I can say that I believe my husband has truly appreciated each one. I get no kick-back from telling you about this product, but I was sure glad my friend pointed it out to me when we were shopping together, and I wanted to point it out to you! This would also make a great wedding shower gift! I’d encourage you to check it out!

Refresh your marriage with a love note,

Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Positive Thoughts About Your Spouse

January 11, 2019January 11, 2019 RefreshHer4 Comments

Roses brought home to me for no reason – these are the things I need to think about!

I’m totally not a believer in the Positive thinking mentality of “Just think beautiful thoughts and beautiful things will happen to you.” Living in a fallen, sinful world means we will deal with fallen people and sinful situations – no matter how positively we think!

However, there is an area of marriage in which positive thinking will indeed bring about change.

Thinking on positive attributes about your spouse can change your heart about them, which then has the potential to improve your marriage!

When we rehearse the negative characteristics about our mate all day long, in our own mind and in the ears of others, we are only magnifying those issues. If a wife stews for hours about how she disdains that her husband dresses sloppily, when she sees him at the end of the day in his comfy clothes, those mental magnifiers will jump to attention! It won’t be easier to deal with – it will be more difficult because she’ll feel justified as she finger points in his “messy” direction.

Think how much sweeter it would be to think of ONE POSITIVE THING for which we could thank the Lord all day long. Perhaps it would be ~

his thoughtfulness
his work ethic
his provision for your family
his attention to detail
his love for God
his skills
his calm nature

Write it down.
Thank the Lord for that in your prayer time.
Write him a note telling him that you’re thankful for that area of his life.
Tell others both when he is present and when he is absent.

When we make a habit of rehearsing negative issues we’ll only feel overwhelmed and in despair. But when we trade those thoughts for the positive traits in our spouse, we can’t help but grow to love him more.

Let me set the example – I have a husband who is a romantic at heart. He is so great about doing the things to touch my heart. He brings flowers. He remembers our engagement anniversary. He is loves to surprise me with gestures like bringing me breakfast while I’m having my quiet time. He is such a special blessing in my life!

What one thing could you say today about your spouse? Why not start by sharing it in the comments?

Refresh your marriage with positive thoughts!

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