I’m totally not a believer in the Positive thinking mentality of “Just think beautiful thoughts and beautiful things will happen to you.” Living in a fallen, sinful world means we will deal with fallen people and sinful situations – no matter how positively we think!
However, there is an area of marriage in which positive thinking will indeed bring about change.
Thinking on positive attributes about your spouse can change your heart about them, which then has the potential to improve your marriage!
When we rehearse the negative characteristics about our mate all day long, in our own mind and in the ears of others, we are only magnifying those issues. If a wife stews for hours about how she disdains that her husband dresses sloppily, when she sees him at the end of the day in his comfy clothes, those mental magnifiers will jump to attention! It won’t be easier to deal with – it will be more difficult because she’ll feel justified as she finger points in his “messy” direction.
Think how much sweeter it would be to think of ONE POSITIVE THING for which we could thank the Lord all day long. Perhaps it would be ~
his work ethic
his provision for your family
his attention to detail
his love for God
his calm nature
Write it down.
Thank the Lord for that in your prayer time.
Write him a note telling him that you’re thankful for that area of his life.
Tell others both when he is present and when he is absent.
When we make a habit of rehearsing negative issues we’ll only feel overwhelmed and in despair. But when we trade those thoughts for the positive traits in our spouse, we can’t help but grow to love him more.
Let me set the example – I have a husband who is a romantic at heart. He is so great about doing the things to touch my heart. He brings flowers. He remembers our engagement anniversary. He is loves to surprise me with gestures like bringing me breakfast while I’m having my quiet time. He is such a special blessing in my life!
What one thing could you say today about your spouse? Why not start by sharing it in the comments?
Like any relationship, marriage can get into a rut. It sounds the same as when you hit those rumble strips on the interstate. It’s irritating, and it makes you move over, but often it’s not long before you hear that roar again. Why? Because you’re kind of daydreaming your way through your marriage.
It’s easy to “fall asleep at the wheel” and not make the efforts in your relationship that you used to make when things were new and fresh. But I have good news for you today! If you’re still breathing and your husband also has breath, things can change TODAY! Let me make three simple suggestions – all that are doable today and cost nothing except your intentionality!
SMILE DAILY (use your lips and your eyes to smile!)
When he walks in the door. Smile.
While you’re listening to him. Smile.
When you’re telling him about your day. Smile.
When you see him across the room. Smile.
It’s easier to be too busy to even look up at one another. It’s easier to furrow our brows and scowl. SMILE instead. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. Proverbs 17:22
MAKE MORE DEPOSITS INTO YOUR MARRIAGE THAN WITHDRAWALS EACH DAY Deposit a compliment instead of criticism. Instead of fussing about the negative thing you’re thinking about, give a compliment of something in which he made you proud.
Deposit help instead of looking to receive help. I believe husbands should help their wife, but what would happen if we volunteered to run an errand, lift a load, or do a chore for him? Would we look like Christ in our sacrifice? Deposit affection instead of pulling away physically and emotionally. Put away that cold shoulder, little peck, or icy back. Pull the wall down with the warmth of your affection. Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.
PRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND FOR AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES EVERY DAY. Pray about the things that irritate you.
Pray about the weaknesses in your relationship.
Pray for his burdens, pressures and obligations.
Pray for your hearts to be knit together stronger than ever. Luke 18:1 – Men (women) aught always to pray and not to faint.
Dear wife, I’m convinced that if we would practice these three initiatives DAILY we would have happy husbands, which would equal happy wives, and that boils down to a happy marriage! Try it and tell me about your results!
This past week I had two conversations that stuck in my mind and heart. One was when dear lady told me that after holding many responsibilities with titles, she was now “Just a housewife.” The other woman told me she was a part-time housewife and wished it was full-time.
having the status of a king or queen or a member of their family.
I admit that I am kind of taking liberties with the word royal, but in all reality, if you and your husband are believers in Jesus Christ, you are a royal priesthood. We learn that here –
I Peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
Because of who we are in Christ, everything about us should show to the world the praise of our God Who saved us. In other words, our marriages should display the Gospel. If we do that, then our relationship with one another will truly be royal.
How can we have a Royal Marriage?
Think of your spouse as royalty. If we were in the presence of a king, would we forget it? Of course not! We should remind ourselves every day that we chose to marry this man! He is our Prince Charming! We must remember what we loved about him in the beginning. If he doesn’t seem quite so charming today, it’s our thoughts that have changed, so we need to change them back. Instead of dwelling on the negative, we must think on the things that we love about our prince!
Keep your eyes on your royal family. When any of the British royalty are out in public, all eyes are on them! We must keep our eyes on only our mate, and not even consider looking at someone else. Keep your vows you made before God. He wants your marriage to succeed even more than you do!
Treat your spouse like royalty. Yes, treat him like a king. Do it as a way to show your love. Be watching and anticipating his needs so you can meet them. Paul reminds us in Philippians 2:3,4 But in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. We’re not going to think of ourselves first – we’ll think of our mate. Doing this is a true blessing!
Speak endearingly about your spouse. We were all talking about the the royal couple after their wedding. What do you say to others about your spouse? Do you praise him and share the traits that you admire most?
Stay in the same country! Royal families don’t divide – with one person ruling one country and the other spouse ruling another. To have a royal marriage, we have to stay on the same track, rather than each spouse doing their own thing. We must come together for time to grow, talk, share, and make memories. Without this we will just be like roommates, rather than a Royal married couple!
Talk to the King of Kings about your marriage. Pray and ask God to give you wisdom as to how to respond to your mate. He made that man and knows him! Ask for understanding about how to talk to him. Ask for God’s protection on his life, his thoughts, and his heart.
Enjoy your castle! Have fun in your home, no matter how humble it is. Make it the best place on earth for you both to retreat to and share this life. Draw up the bridge and let intruders “meet the dragons in the moat” from time to time so you and your spouse can spend uninterrupted time together. Every couple needs some time away – even if it’s just an afternoon or evening.
Perhaps you need to watch the video of your wedding again, if you’re blessed to have one. If not, look at the photos and remember the day you took the royal title of “Mrs.” It’s a high calling! Let’s show it and enjoy it!
a small lump of gold or other precious metal found ready-formed in the earth.
a small chunk or lump of another substance.
Valuable items don’t have to be large to be worth much and the same goes for pieces of advice. Even little nuggets of advice can be valuable. That’s exactly what I want to share with you today!
Do you remember this post from last week? I talked about appreciating the differences between ourselves and our husbands. My little preference was about the shower bottles’ lids being closed. I even said that my husband had no idea that that bothered me! Every day when I cleaned the shower, I would simply snap his shampoo and body wash lids back down, but I never said anything to him about it.
Ever since last Friday, his bottles have been shut tighter than a toddler’s teeth at supper time! Yep, he read my post and took it on himself to take care of that tiny issue! (How sweet is that?!) What did it take? Communication.
Nugget #1 ~ When there are things that bother you, speak up.
I’m clearly not talking about little pet peeves like mine; I’m talking about things that would really cause a rift in your relationship. Many times things go on and on simply because we don’t share it with our spouse. Either we think he should know it (!) or we’re afraid to tell him. Sharing what’s on your heart might not remedy the issue immediately, but at least you can get it out there where it can be discussed and prayed about, and possibly have a conclusion decided upon very quickly.
When I was changing our sheets this week, I noticed that the top hem was really wrinkled. I started to continue to make the bed and then I remembered that I usually always iron the guest bed. Then I had another thought I needed to make our sheets pretty, too.
Nugget *2 – Never do for others and neglect your husband. If he’s our priority (and he should be), we won’t want to forget to show him the special kindness that we do for other people.
We’ve all done it – slammed our finger in a drawer or caused ourselves some sort of pain by a careless act. This morning it happened to me – I was getting ready for the day and I dropped my phone onto the top of my foot. All those little bones in there began screaming for attention and I gave it! I lifted my leg and while hopping on the other foot, Continue reading “Family Friday – Apply the Loving Touch”→