Home making · Wife's Role · Women's roles

Maytag, Messes and Meals, Part 2

I recently saw an Instagram video of a house that had been flipped. The months of work were finished and it was beautiful. Not only was the structure beautiful, but so was each room! They had a professional stager come in and place furniture and decor in each room to make potential buyers see its possibilities.  It seemed to have everything, but one thing it is lacking is people.  In its present state, it is a pretty house, but it is not a home. What will it take to turn it into one? People.

People make a house a home.

So as you and I step into our house with another person – just our mate, or perhaps also our children, we must realize that the most important part of that structure is not the beautiful hardwood floors or the vaulted ceilings – it’s the people who live there. Someone has to do some building of love, structure and routines to create a happy and comfortable place for that family to live. That “someone” is you and me. God has given us that nurturing, nesting nature to help us with the building of our home. How do we build? With God’s wisdom.

Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pluck down with her hands.
Proverbs 14:1

I can remember a time when I was a child that my mom was away from home for a week while she had surgery. Back then you were kept in the hospital a week or so to regain strength before returning home. My dad did his best taking care of me and my sisters, but my mom’s presence was missed so much. Things just weren’t the same without her cheery disposition. A wife and mother adds to a home what no one else can bring. We minister to our family in ways I don’t think we can fully comprehend. We must be deliberate about building the lives that gather there

Home should be the one place on the earth where everything will be alright. That’s our sphere – our responsibility, our role – to build the home. We’re not talking about a perfect family – there is no such thing, but a place where there is love and acceptance, forgiveness and encouragement, provision and rest.

Home needs to be a little bit of heaven on earth. Every man needs a place that is a refuge for him.  Every child needs a place that is a safe haven from the world. That is the kind of place we must build.

The negative part of Proverbs 14:1 says that the foolish pluck down their home with their hands. How?

  1. Actively – Anger out of control that throws things, slams doors, slams dishes on the table, rips things up, tears things up. It can tear up a little heart and mind and it can destroy and ruin a person and a home.
  2. Passively – This is simply a failure to work – it’s laziness! We’re to be building; it’s active. We can pluck down our own home just by failing to do the work. We just never get around to it.
    We watch too much t.v., spend too much time on social media, so things aren’t getting done, or we’re not home enough to accomplish the work.

We’re on assignment from God to build a house. We must steer clear of every act, every hindrance that would interfere in building that home.

We must make a decision or a commitment to build, or begin to build.
It’s not too late!
The enemy would want you too think it is, and it won’t make any difference, but that’s not true! You can begin today by asking God to give you wisdom about how to build and then do it.

Just do one thing for the people in your home. Build the atmosphere with your loving touch. Be there. Notice. Listen. Look. Love. Care. Make a difference in their lives.

Next time we’ll discuss some of the particular ways we can manage and care for our home. Until then, do the One Thing the Lord brings to your mind.

Refresh your home by building,

Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Positive Thoughts About Your Spouse

 

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Roses brought home to me for no reason – these are the things I need to think about!

I’m totally not a believer in the Positive thinking mentality of “Just think beautiful thoughts and beautiful things will happen to you.”  Living in a fallen, sinful world means we will deal with fallen people and sinful situations – no matter how positively we think!

However, there is an area of  marriage in which positive thinking will indeed bring about change.

Thinking on positive attributes about your spouse can change your heart about them, which then has the potential to improve your marriage!

When we rehearse the negative characteristics about our mate all day long, in our own mind and in the ears of others, we are only magnifying those issues.  If a wife stews for hours about how she disdains that her husband dresses sloppily, when she sees him at the end of the day in his comfy clothes, those mental magnifiers will jump to attention! It won’t be easier to deal with –  it will be more difficult because she’ll feel justified as she finger points in his “messy” direction.

Think how much sweeter it would be to think of ONE POSITIVE THING for which we could thank the Lord all day long.  Perhaps it would be ~

  • his thoughtfulness
  • his work ethic
  • his provision for your family
  • his attention to detail
  • his love for God
  • his skills
  •  his calm nature

Write it down.
Thank the Lord for that in your prayer time.
Write him a note telling him that you’re thankful for that area of his life.
Tell others both when he is present and when he is absent.

When we make a habit of rehearsing negative issues we’ll only feel overwhelmed and in despair.  But when we trade those thoughts for the positive traits in our spouse, we can’t help but grow to love him more.

Let me set the example – I have a husband who is a romantic at heart.  He is so great about doing the things to touch my heart.  He brings flowers.  He remembers our engagement anniversary.  He is loves to surprise me with gestures like bringing me breakfast while I’m having my quiet time.  He is such a special blessing in my life!

What one thing could you say today about your spouse?  Why not start by sharing it in the comments?

Refresh your marriage with positive thoughts!

denise a

Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Three Things You Can Do TODAY To Improve Your Marriage

improve Your Marriage

Like any relationship, marriage can get into a rut.  It sounds the same as when you hit those rumble strips on the interstate.  It’s irritating, and it makes you move over, but often it’s not long before you hear that roar again.  Why?  Because you’re kind of daydreaming your way through your marriage.

It’s easy to “fall asleep at the wheel” and not make the efforts in your relationship that you used to make when things were new and fresh.  But I have good news for you today!  If you’re still breathing and your husband also has breath, things can change TODAY!  Let me make three simple suggestions – all that are doable today and cost nothing except your intentionality!

  1. SMILE DAILY (use your lips and your eyes to smile!)
    When he walks in the door.  Smile.
    While you’re listening to him.  Smile.
    When you’re telling him about your day.  Smile.
    When you see him across the room.  Smile.
    It’s easier to be too busy to even look up at one another.  It’s easier to furrow our brows and scowl.  SMILE instead.
    A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.  Proverbs 17:22
  2. MAKE MORE DEPOSITS INTO YOUR MARRIAGE THAN WITHDRAWALS EACH DAY
    Deposit a compliment instead of criticism.  Instead of fussing about the negative thing you’re thinking about, give a compliment of something in which he made you proud.
    Deposit help instead of looking to receive help. I believe husbands should help their wife, but what would happen if we volunteered to run an errand, lift a load, or do a chore for him?  Would we look like Christ in our sacrifice?
    Deposit affection instead of pulling away physically and emotionally.  Put away that cold shoulder, little peck, or icy back.  Pull the wall down with the warmth of your affection.  
    Romans 12:10  Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.
  3. PRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND FOR AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES EVERY DAY.
    Pray about the things that irritate you.
    Pray about the weaknesses in your relationship.
    Pray for his burdens, pressures and obligations.
    Pray for your hearts to be knit together stronger than ever.
    Luke 18:1 – Men (women) aught always to pray and not to faint.

Dear wife, I’m convinced that if we would practice these three initiatives DAILY we would have happy husbands, which would equal happy wives, and that boils down to a happy marriage!  Try it and tell me about your results!

Refresh your marriage TODAY!

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Biblical Womanhood · Wife's Role · womanhood · Women's roles

“Just a Housewife”

summer birdhouse 1

This past week I had two conversations that stuck in my mind and heart.  One was when  dear lady told me that after holding many responsibilities with titles, she was now “Just a housewife.” The other woman told me she was a part-time housewife and wished it was full-time.

Every woman probably has her own definition of what a housewife does and how she Continue reading ““Just a Housewife””

Family life · Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Having a Royal Marriage Without the Royal Wedding That Precedes It

Royal Marriage
roy·al
ˈroi(ə)l/
adjective
  1. having the status of a king or queen or a member of their family.

I admit that I am kind of taking liberties with the word royal, but in all reality, if you and your husband are believers in Jesus Christ, you are a royal priesthood.  We learn that here –

I Peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Because of who we are in Christ, everything about us should show to the world the praise of our God Who saved us.  In other words, our marriages should display the Gospel.  If we do that, then our relationship with one another will truly be royal.

How can we have a Royal Marriage?

  1. Think of your spouse as royalty. If we were in the presence of a king, would we forget it? Of course not!  We should remind ourselves every day that we chose to marry this man!  He is our Prince Charming!  We must remember what we loved about him in the beginning. If he doesn’t seem quite so charming today, it’s our thoughts that have changed, so we need to change them back. Instead of dwelling on the negative, we must think on the things that we love about our prince!
  2. Keep your eyes on your royal family.  When any of the British royalty are out in  public, all eyes are on them!  We must keep our eyes on only our mate, and not even consider looking at someone else.  Keep your vows you made before God.  He wants your marriage to succeed even more than you do!
  3. Treat your spouse like royalty.  Yes, treat him like a king.  Do it as a way to show your love.  Be watching and anticipating his needs so you can meet them.  Paul reminds us in Philippians 2:3,4 But in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.  We’re not going to think of ourselves first – we’ll think of our mate. Doing this is a true blessing!
  4. Speak endearingly about your spouse.  We were all talking about the the royal couple after their wedding.  What do you say to others about your spouse?   Do you praise him and share the traits that you admire most?
  5. Stay in the same country!  Royal families don’t divide – with one person ruling one country and the other spouse ruling another.  To have a royal marriage, we have to stay on the same track, rather than each spouse doing their own thing.  We must come together for time to grow, talk, share, and make memories.   Without this we will just be like roommates, rather than a Royal married couple!
  6. Talk to the King of Kings about your marriage.  Pray and ask God to give you wisdom as to how to respond to your mate.  He made that man and knows him!  Ask for understanding about how to talk to him.  Ask for God’s protection on his life, his thoughts, and his heart.
  7. Enjoy your castle!  Have fun in your home, no matter how humble it is.  Make it the best place on earth for you both to retreat to and share this life.  Draw up the bridge and let intruders “meet the dragons in the moat” from time to time so you and your spouse can spend uninterrupted time together. Every couple needs some time away – even if it’s just an afternoon or evening.

Perhaps you need to watch the video of your wedding again, if you’re blessed to have one.  If not, look at the photos and remember the day you took the royal title of “Mrs.”  It’s a high calling! Let’s show it and enjoy it!

Refresh your royal marriage!

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