I’ve always been a huge fan and encourager of leaving love notes for your spouse. Why? Scripture says,
Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad. Proverbs 12:25
Our husband gets beaten down by the world, his own flesh and the devil. If we’re not giving them a “good word,” who is? We don’t want another woman giving him those words…that is our place and privilege!
A few months ago my friend and I were browsing through a store and she found the cutest pad of love notes from Dayspring and brought them over to me and said,
This looks like something you would love!
Was she ever right! Here’s the front of the pad…
Here’s the back…
I love that you can put the date on it, that it’s filled with a prayer and also Scripture verses. You can flip it over and write an additional note to your spouse in your handwriting…
There are 100 notes in this pad! They cover topics like noticing their burdens, their spiritual gifts being used, dreaming about the future, and sparks of loving romance. Of course you could come up with your own verses and prayers and write them on a card, but I have found the convenience of it already being written on the card, and also done so beautifully, really helps me be more mindful to leave them for my husband to find!
I’ve used this several times since purchasing it and I can say that I believe my husband has truly appreciated each one. I get no kick-back from telling you about this product, but I was sure glad my friend pointed it out to me when we were shopping together, and I wanted to point it out to you! This would also make a great wedding shower gift! I’d encourage you to check it out!
As we finish this short series on Home Management, I wanted to leave you with a few thoughts about your work as a homemaker.
Prepare your heart for the day. Talk to the Lord about your day and your work. Give it to Him. Ps. 90:17 And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.
Proverbs 16:3 Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.
As you look at your list of “To-do’s,” give it to the Lord and let Him order your steps. You’ll be amazed at how much more you’ll accomplish that lines up with His will instead of your own!
Deal with only today. Matt. 6:34 – Take therefore no thought (Don’t worry) for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Be not anxious about tomorrow; today has its own challenges! Augustine took Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. and said, “Number each day as your last day. (One day it will be).
I can remember a few years ago I let myself get so stressed out about some company that was coming at a very busy time. Guess what? They ended up having to cancel! I had stressed and worried for naught! So often that is the case. Dealing with today will relieve those worrisome situations and help you do the next step…
3. Value each minute of today. Make each moment count for eternity. Think about the eternal, not the temporal.
We remember moments not days.
Make your home more about the people than you do the place. People – not things – create the memories in your home. People are eternal; things are not!
Here are three last helps as you manage your home –
** Keep moving. Like the law of inertia, A body in motion will remain in motion! A body at rest will remain at rest. Keep going until your work is done.
** Develop a routine – same place, same thing, same time. Do the worst first. If you do that, it will make your day more productive!
** Say “No!” Make your plan for the day, then unless you are sure that God is moving you to Plan B, the answer is going to be “No” until that plan is complete. Say no to people, to yourself, your own indulgences and rash things.
She looks well to the ways of her household and doesn’t eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27
A refreshing look at our responsibilities can give us a right perspective and a determination to give it our all! I trust this has refreshed your attitude about being a home manager and has also shown you what a blessing it is to wear that title!
I recently saw an Instagram video of a house that had been flipped. The months of work were finished and it was beautiful. Not only was the structure beautiful, but so was each room! They had a professional stager come in and place furniture and decor in each room to make potential buyers see its possibilities. It seemed to have everything, but one thing it is lacking is people. In its present state, it is a pretty house, but it is not a home. What will it take to turn it into one? People.
People make a house a home.
So as you and I step into our house with another person – just our mate, or perhaps also our children, we must realize that the most important part of that structure is not the beautiful hardwood floors or the vaulted ceilings – it’s the people who live there. Someone has to do some building of love, structure and routines to create a happy and comfortable place for that family to live. That “someone” is you and me. God has given us that nurturing, nesting nature to help us with the building of our home. How do we build? With God’s wisdom.
Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pluck down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1
I can remember a time when I was a child that my mom was away from home for a week while she had surgery. Back then you were kept in the hospital a week or so to regain strength before returning home. My dad did his best taking care of me and my sisters, but my mom’s presence was missed so much. Things just weren’t the same without her cheery disposition. A wife and mother adds to a home what no one else can bring. We minister to our family in ways I don’t think we can fully comprehend. We must be deliberate about building the lives that gather there
Home should be the one place on the earth where everything will be alright. That’s our sphere – our responsibility, our role – to build the home. We’re not talking about a perfect family – there is no such thing, but a place where there is love and acceptance, forgiveness and encouragement, provision and rest.
Home needs to be a little bit of heaven on earth. Every man needs a place that is a refuge for him. Every child needs a place that is a safe haven from the world. That is the kind of place we must build.
The negative part of Proverbs 14:1 says that the foolish pluck down their home with their hands. How?
Actively – Anger out of control that throws things, slams doors, slams dishes on the table, rips things up, tears things up. It can tear up a little heart and mind and it can destroy and ruin a person and a home.
Passively – This is simply a failure to work – it’s laziness! We’re to be building; it’s active. We can pluck down our own home just by failing to do the work. We just never get around to it. We watch too much t.v., spend too much time on social media, so things aren’t getting done, or we’re not home enough to accomplish the work.
We’re on assignment from God to build a house. We must steer clear of every act, every hindrance that would interfere in building that home.
We must make a decision or a commitment to build, or begin to build. It’s not too late! The enemy would want you too think it is, and it won’t make any difference, but that’s not true! You can begin today by asking God to give you wisdom about how to build and then do it.
Just do one thing for the people in your home. Build the atmosphere with your loving touch. Be there. Notice. Listen. Look. Love. Care. Make a difference in their lives.
Next time we’ll discuss some of the particular ways we can manage and care for our home. Until then, do the One Thing the Lord brings to your mind.
I’m totally not a believer in the Positive thinking mentality of “Just think beautiful thoughts and beautiful things will happen to you.” Living in a fallen, sinful world means we will deal with fallen people and sinful situations – no matter how positively we think!
However, there is an area of marriage in which positive thinking will indeed bring about change.
Thinking on positive attributes about your spouse can change your heart about them, which then has the potential to improve your marriage!
When we rehearse the negative characteristics about our mate all day long, in our own mind and in the ears of others, we are only magnifying those issues. If a wife stews for hours about how she disdains that her husband dresses sloppily, when she sees him at the end of the day in his comfy clothes, those mental magnifiers will jump to attention! It won’t be easier to deal with – it will be more difficult because she’ll feel justified as she finger points in his “messy” direction.
Think how much sweeter it would be to think of ONE POSITIVE THING for which we could thank the Lord all day long. Perhaps it would be ~
his work ethic
his provision for your family
his attention to detail
his love for God
his calm nature
Write it down.
Thank the Lord for that in your prayer time.
Write him a note telling him that you’re thankful for that area of his life.
Tell others both when he is present and when he is absent.
When we make a habit of rehearsing negative issues we’ll only feel overwhelmed and in despair. But when we trade those thoughts for the positive traits in our spouse, we can’t help but grow to love him more.
Let me set the example – I have a husband who is a romantic at heart. He is so great about doing the things to touch my heart. He brings flowers. He remembers our engagement anniversary. He is loves to surprise me with gestures like bringing me breakfast while I’m having my quiet time. He is such a special blessing in my life!
What one thing could you say today about your spouse? Why not start by sharing it in the comments?
Like any relationship, marriage can get into a rut. It sounds the same as when you hit those rumble strips on the interstate. It’s irritating, and it makes you move over, but often it’s not long before you hear that roar again. Why? Because you’re kind of daydreaming your way through your marriage.
It’s easy to “fall asleep at the wheel” and not make the efforts in your relationship that you used to make when things were new and fresh. But I have good news for you today! If you’re still breathing and your husband also has breath, things can change TODAY! Let me make three simple suggestions – all that are doable today and cost nothing except your intentionality!
SMILE DAILY (use your lips and your eyes to smile!)
When he walks in the door. Smile.
While you’re listening to him. Smile.
When you’re telling him about your day. Smile.
When you see him across the room. Smile.
It’s easier to be too busy to even look up at one another. It’s easier to furrow our brows and scowl. SMILE instead. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. Proverbs 17:22
MAKE MORE DEPOSITS INTO YOUR MARRIAGE THAN WITHDRAWALS EACH DAY Deposit a compliment instead of criticism. Instead of fussing about the negative thing you’re thinking about, give a compliment of something in which he made you proud.
Deposit help instead of looking to receive help. I believe husbands should help their wife, but what would happen if we volunteered to run an errand, lift a load, or do a chore for him? Would we look like Christ in our sacrifice? Deposit affection instead of pulling away physically and emotionally. Put away that cold shoulder, little peck, or icy back. Pull the wall down with the warmth of your affection. Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.
PRAY FOR YOUR HUSBAND FOR AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES EVERY DAY. Pray about the things that irritate you.
Pray about the weaknesses in your relationship.
Pray for his burdens, pressures and obligations.
Pray for your hearts to be knit together stronger than ever. Luke 18:1 – Men (women) aught always to pray and not to faint.
Dear wife, I’m convinced that if we would practice these three initiatives DAILY we would have happy husbands, which would equal happy wives, and that boils down to a happy marriage! Try it and tell me about your results!