We know that children are a gift from God – especially when they first come into our family. Whether it’s a natural birth, fostering or adoption, they were leant to us from the Lord, and we recognize this.
Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5
They are squishy, funny, curious and precious. But they can also be messy, sassy, and willful. They act out in public and we blush and say, “This is my ‘Wild Child’.” A parent can be at their wit’s end to know how to deal with them, and if they were honest, they might even admit that they’re afraid to try to deal with them because of the backlash they would encounter from the child. Does this sound like you and your son or daughter? How can we deal with these difficult things and keep pointing them to Christ so that they will live out their days for His glory?
Recently I had a friend ask me what I thought about the statement,
“Every mother’s middle name is guilt.”
I considered it for a couple of days – even mentioned it to a couple of women and was interested in their responses. “Oh, boy, isn’t that the truth!” was pretty much what I heard from others.
Walking along the shoreline of the ocean begs for shell-seeking. As you walk along, you are blinded by glimmers of colors pressed into the sand. You hear the crunch of the buried bits under your feet and an inquisitive mind wonders what treasures could be revealed just under their sandalled foot.
We bend down and scour the sand. What are we looking for? The perfect shell. Not one that has been walked upon, like we just did moments before! No, we seek for one that is unbroken; one that is completely whole with nothing missing or cracked. Those finds are rare. They are discovered by the early morning seekers, donned in water boots, standing ankle deep in the ocean’s foam to make their find before the lazy beachcombers awaken.
As I surveyed the beach on a mid-morning walk last week, I saw a shell in all its beauty! It appeared perfect! I snapped a picture to document my perfect find!
As I bent down and inspected the shell, I was reminded of how we also seek perfection in the children that would enter our home. “As long as they’re healthy, that’s all that matters!” we say. And what do we do if we find that there is a problem – a crack, if you will?
What if a piece is missing, causing an illness or an unwanted diagnosis later on?
What if their make-up is strong-willed and stubborn?
What if there are special needs?
What happens if there is a learning disability?
What if rebellion comes with age and maturity?
What ever will we do with the brokenness that displays itself at the time when we are most embarrassed by it?
The truth is that every child is broken. It comes as a result of being born into a sinful, broken world that has put sin in their nature. That “crack” will be seen in each child in different ways and different times, but it’s there. The blessing isn’t from overlooking the imperfection, but acknowledging it, for then we can find the Hope needed to comfort and restore.
That hope is the grace of God that brings salvation. As sure as the ocean’s tide will cover that broken shell on the shoreline, God’s grace will cover our child as they hear the message of the Gospel. Their greatest need isn’t to be “fixed,” but to be saved. If their weakness, brokenness and imperfection will point them to Jesus as the Savior for their sins, would it not be a treasure for which we did not ask?
What about illnesses, weaknesses and deformities and struggles that put hardship on the parents? God’s grace is as deep as the ocean, and it is sufficient for each day’s burdens and struggles. As the grace of God is witnessed by His daily strength to help, His wisdom to know how to move forward, and His provision that supplies for needs, that weakness glorifies the God who made that child and formed them in the womb. Surely He also puts in our hearts that this is not forever. One Day wholeness will come.
As I watch the waves roll in, one at a time, the Lord reminds me that that is how grace is given to us – one need at a time – not before we need it, or less than we need, but when we need it, and in sufficient amounts.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. II Corinthians 12:9
After careful examination, it turned out that the “perfect shell” I found wasn’t perfect after all. Lovely as they are, I also saw early on that my girls were also broken, just like their parents! Praise God for the saving grace that has been applied to their lives and that is continually working in each of us as we look forward to that day in heaven when we will be like Jesus! That’s when we will see perfection!
Oh, how God’s heart rejoices at those that go looking for the broken! That refers to those that need the Gospel. With whom are we sharing the Good News of Christ? Are you pouring the Gospel message into your children every day, weaving its message into all of life? As parents, it’s your responsibility! If you don’t have children in your home, are you teaching the Gospel to your grandchildren or to your friends, neighbors and the people with whom you interact?
Let’s not be looking for what our hearts think we need (perfection) and instead, purposefully look for the brokenness around us that needs the tidal wave of God’s saving grace! There is no greater Treasure!
This week I heard a message by Chuck Swindoll that just stopped me in my tracks. Part of the reason is because of the Truths of the Word of God that must be applied to my own life as I continue in sanctification. He spoke from Matthew 15 when Jesus was answering the question the disciples asked about who would be the greatest among them. Do you remember what Jesus did?
He brought a little child and set them in the middle of the group of disciples. He told them, If you want to enter the Kingdom of heaven, you must become like that little child ~
Unpretentious,
Full of trust
No agenda
No hidden desires
No secret sin
No guile
Authentic humility
Matthew 18 goes on to say ~
Beware that you don’t look down on any of these little ones.
It’s easy to look down on a child, isn’t it? They can seem insignificant. They can be difficult to deal with. They are needy.
But Jesus values children. He says we must be like them to be saved. We admit our sinfulness like a child. We trust like a child. We love like a child.
Are you valuing the children in your life? Perhaps they are the children in your home. Maybe they’re your grandchildren. Are there children in your neighborhood? Do you bump into youngsters at church or the park or the grocery store?
Each one is important. Each one has special gifts. Each one has a need for Jesus. Do you see them? Do you take time to speak to them, to make them feel important and noticed? Or do you overlook them?
Then there are other children. Here’s what Chuck Swindoll says about them…
There are those who are weak and fragile and they can’t keep up. Then you slow down. Take time for them. See the value in them. I love the scene where Jesus talks about future rewards and says,
Matthew 25:40 I was sick and you brought me something to eat. I was in prison and you visited me. I was thirsty and you brought me something cool to drink,
The one hearing it said,
When did we bring you something to eat, or see you in prison and visit you, and when did we bring you something cool to drink? Jesus’ answer is,
Inasmuch as you’ve done it unto the least of these, you’ve done it unto Me.
Inasmuch as you’ve done it to these who couldn’t keep up, these with special needs, these with congenital brain damage, these with physical conditions that hinder them from being able to run like the other children, or to have coordinated bodies like other fast-moving and well-coordinated kiddos. Guard against devaluing a child or discounting them.
Every child is precious to God. Every child is valuable just the way they were born. Don’t lessen their importance in your home – or in this very world. He or she may be just the one to turn this world upside down for Jesus Christ simply because of their “special-ness”.
Children have a way of reaching the hearts of people like none other. See them for the treasure they are and thank God that He brought them into your life so you could watch the things God will do through them and their unique gifts.
Let’s esteem children, every single one of them, as much as Jesus does.
There are lots of things that I forget – like why I’ve gone downstairs, the name of a visitor at church, or sometimes my own age, but there are particular memories that stick in my mind like concreted stepping stones in a garden.
One such memory is when I got my first job at the age of 16. I was to be the person up front at Hardee’s restaurant. Understand that this was back in the days before computerized cash registers. I was to write down the order correctly, bag it up, take the money owed and return the correct amount of change.
I was a bit fearful about the last in that list of tasks, and my wise mom knew just how to help me. She gathered up some currency and a fist full of change, and we practiced. She was the customer, and I the restaurant employee. She didn’t make it easy, either. She would give me $15.02 when her bill was $12.57. She taught me to count backwards, first deducting the two cents from the fifty-seven. Now their total as $12.55 – it was from that total that I would make change. She would make me count it out loud, starting with the .55. “Fifty-five, sixty, seventy, seventy five, thirteen dollars, (and handing over two ones) fourteen, fifteen.” Total change was 2 dollars and forty-five cents. That kind of practice with her made me confident to go to work. On my first day at my job, my cash register was ten cents off at the end of a busy day. I was proud of that, but sought to perfect that during my time there.
I took that practicing idea with me into my own parenting days, understanding that practice at home gives a child confidence when they go into the world to accomplish a task that seems daunting. Here are some of the things we practiced:
I would have my girls use our play phones and practice making calls to 911, reporting that their mommy had fallen and needed help!
We practiced speaking to people at church or visitors that were coming to our home. “How will you greet Mrs. So-and-So? Look her in the eye, and speak up so she can hear you say your name. “Let’s try that again.”
We practiced walking in a lady-like manner
We practiced asking questions to an employer from whom they would seek a job.
We practiced sharing a testimony at church.
We practiced how to care for a child they were babysitting.
Practice does indeed bring progress, but it also gives confidence and the know-how to do the right thing when called upon.
What is your child/teen facing in the near future? Are you teaching them adequately so that they will feel prepared? Of course, we need to remind them to depend on the Lord’s help, but it is our job to give them the tools they need so they will be qualified and able to do all things heartily as unto the Lord (Colossians 3:23).
How do you practice situations with your children ahead of time?
RefreshHer 