No one wants to be forced to ride a roller coaster – especially when it’s an emotional one caused by stress in marriage. But, if we’re honest, we’ve all been there at one time or another. We feel like life is spinning and twisting out of control and all we can do is hang on and hope for a safe and eventual landing.
That Marriage Roller Coaster ride can also make you feel helpless, alone, and desperate. In the middle of a marital crisis, you can “feel” like you will never be happy again, that there’s no hope for your relationship, or that it would just be better if your marriage was over. These can all be dangerous emotions/actions, if not handled biblically.
How about if we just stop together and get a biblical perspective for those kinds of days?
- Realize that your spouse is not your enemy. Satan is the one attacking your home. But the biblical perspective is, “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” (I John 4:4) God is stronger and greater. He can get you past this hurdle, and that’s all it is – a hurdle. The good news is that hurdles are meant for jumping over!
- Struggles are not a sign that your marriage is done. Jesus told us, “In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer – I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 Since He has overcome, so can we! When two sinners live together, there’s bound to be difficulty at times. Add to the mix, children, who are also sinners, and you can have a house full of struggles! But, as in the roller coaster analogy, you don’t just jump off when you’re climbing the steepest incline of the ride! You sit tight, hold on (to the Lord and one another!), close your eyes (in prayer), and do the next right thing. Soon you’ll be pulling into the very place the ride started, renewed in your love and softer and gentler with one another.
- Ending the marriage is not God’s answer to the struggle. Seek for restoration. Humble yourself and do what is necessary to obey Romans 12:18. Sincerely ask the Lord to show you if you are in the wrong. Seek the biblical advice of a godly friend who will love you enough to be honest with you and tell you what you need to hear – not what they know you want to hear. Lovingly talk to your spouse, when the time is right. Share your heart. Ask if you can get down on your knees and pray together. It’s pretty impossible to pray as a couple and stay angry. Again, humility is necessary on your part! You can’t change him, but with God’s help, you sure can change the girl in your shoes!
- Believe the truth that the best is yet to be. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God has a plan to give us a hope and a future, and that includes your marriage! You can both learn from this experience and enjoy greater days in the future, because of the restoration and reconciliation that has taken place.
If thou faint in the day of adversity,
thy strength is small.
Let the Lord be your strength, and climb down off that roller coaster, straighten your wind-blown hair, and don’t faint! Believe the biblical truth and press on for God’s honor!