Category: Marriage

Marriage

Little Gestures Make for Many Years of Marriage

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There is always a reason to celebrate marriage, but I’ve had 35 reasons to celebrate my marriage this month, seeing that we celebrated our 35th anniversary on the 20th!

How does a person get to their 15th or their 25th or their 50th? It’s by making your marriage each and every day.

So here are the little things I did this month to show my husband that he matters; that our marriage matters.

While traveling through Kentucky alone recently, I stopped at a Cracker Barrel for a break and saw these rocking chairs. We own black ones just like them, but I had to send a picture to my husband just to say,

“I know you’d love these blue KY rockers!” But it was also a reminder that I was thinking about him, what he loves and what matters in his world. It’s easy to get too busy or too cumbered about with all our other cares to stop and let a smile creep across our face because we know our husband would laugh at that scene we’re watching, or would enjoy the treat we were just served… or would love that team rocking chair!

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Every month when I repost these entries I almost laugh at how small each gesture was, but that’s really the whole point!  It’s the little things that make the big difference!  This bag of peanute clusters were purchased when I ran into Walgreens for some other item.  When  walked past them, I thought of Dale – a lover of all things that include any kind of nut = peanuts, almonds, pecans – it doesn’t matter.  Cover it with chocolate and it’s even better!  I purchased these, wrote the little note on the bag and hid it in his desk drawer while he was away.  Why?  Because I think he’s nice! He’s real nice!  (Any Andy Griffith fans out there remember that episode?)

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This picture was posted on the day of our anniversary – a reminder that it’s the fun times + the hard times that make up 35 years marriage.  Each day is a treasure to be enjoyed!

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The phrase on the vase, “I love Us” is a phrase we’ve used for years.  Having a quote that is “yours” is a way to mke your relationship deeper and stronger.  It reminds you of where you’re headed and how you want to get there.

For us, the fact that “we love us” reminded us that whether we had our family close by, if children were home or gone, if ministry was hard or wonderful, if we had “us” we would be okay, with the Lord’s help!

I especially loved that when our girls threw our anniversary party on the 10th of this month, this phrase was the theme.  I pray that they will always see and know that that their parents love being together, living together, and staying together!  Why?  Because Marriage matters!

Do you and your spouse have a phrase that is “yours?”   I’d love to hear it!

With love,

Denise

Marriage

Blessings and Lessons From 35 Years of Marriage

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It feels surreal that today my husband and I are staring our 35th anniversary in the face.  Of course all the math plays out perfectly – the ages of our girls, the number of years we have lived here and there, and our years in ministry.  It’s just that it seems to all have happened while we had our heads turned, if you know what I mean.  Nonetheless here we are, and to say that it’s a HUGE blessing would be an understatement.

When Andy on The Andy Griffith Show asks Floyd what he knows about love, Floyd retorts,

“What do I know about love?!  You can’t cut hair for 30 years and not learn something!”

Well, neither can you be married for 35 years and not learn something!! As I pondered our years together, I’ve thought about what I’ve learned.   Here are some of my lessons:

  1. Being in love is a choice that a person makes each day.  You might not always feel in love, but the choice is made in your head, not your heart.
  2. Marriage is each spouse giving 100%.
  3. The best marriage is the one where each one tries to out-serve the other.
  4. The best thing I can give my husband is respect (I wish I’d understood that years ago!)
  5. The best way to change my husband is to let God do it!  That means I must simply pray and let God deal with him!
  6. The best thing I can do for my children is to love their dad.
  7. After God, my husband is to be my first priority.  He’s above children, friends, work or my plans.
  8. I cannot take one day, one hour, one minute of time with my husband for granted.
  9. Life is too short to carry a grudge against him.
  10. Lack of forgiveness for an offense will do far greater damage than humbling myself and letting the grievance go.
  11. Marriage should be enjoyed every single day.
  12. Physical Intimacy in marriage is God’s plan.
  13. The physical relationship is not sin; it is not disgusting.
  14. Intimacy in marriage  must be important to me because it’s important to my spouse.
  15. Departures should always be sealed with a kiss – whether it’s for an hour, an afternoon, a day or a week away.
  16. My spouse is for me!
  17. My spouse was created for me!
  18. I was created for my spouse!
  19. I have the choice (and power) to encourage or discourage my husband.
  20. Little annoyances are more a problem in my heart than they are in his life.
  21. It’s better to have real, genuine love than to have things.
  22. You don’t need material possessions to have a happy marriage.
  23. Prayer is the remedy for all marriage struggles; at the cross all “issues” seem really insignificant.
  24. I’m as needy of a Savior as my spouse.  No matter what he does, we are equal at the cross.
  25. Married life makes joys doubled and sorrows halved.
  26. Marriage is God’s wonderful design and plan, and I should enjoy it because God created it.
  27. As we age, if I expect my husband to love me as I am, I need to love him as he is!
  28. This is the only time we can enjoy marriage (there is no giving in marriage in heaven), so have fun!!
  29. I set the atmosphere in our home.
  30. If I’m not praying for my husband, who is?
  31. A smile, a kind word and a kiss is the best way to greet my husband.
  32. Good words from me encourage his heart.
  33. Keeping myself fixed up and looking my best is an important way to show him I care.
  34. Little things are big things in keeping a happy marriage – a small gift, a wink, a hand squeeze, a note on the pillow – they strengthen your relationship more than the big things.
  35. You’ll never have this moment, this hour, this day, this anniversary ever again. Enjoy right now.  It’s creating a memory for tomorrow.

I am blessed beyond measure with the gift of Dale.  How thankful I am for God’s graciousness in giving me such a wonderful, loving, husband.  I am a better woman because of him in my life!

Refresh you marriage today, friends!

Celebrating 35 years,

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Marriage · Uncategorized

#Monday Marriage Matters Recap

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I have so enjoyed the #MondayMarriageMatters posts on Instagram.  For me, it has helped to foster the intentional thought, “What have I done this week to show that my marriage matters?”  Sometimes it gives me motivation to get after doing something – not for the sake of a post, but so that I can add the special touch that every marriage needs.  After 35 years of marriage, I have learned that it’s all the little, everyday things that make a huge difference!

Here’s my recap of my week of #Mondaymarriagematters for the month of May:

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While on vacation at the beach this week, my husband took the love note to a whole new level – he slipped out of our oceanfront room we were staying in, went down to the beach and wrote in HUGE letters, “I love Denise ❤” Then he came back up to the room with a sheepish expression. I looked out and saw it and I melted at his romantic expression. He didn’t have to do that, I mean we’re alone on vacation and we had said those words many times, but when marriage matters, you look for opportunities to take the simple and make it outrageous! I’ll never forget his gesture and expression of love! #mondaymarriagematters


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We got home from our lovely vacation and hit the ground running. We haven’t stopped or really had time to catch up with one another…until today! Monday is “our day.” We don’t feel guilty for spending this day together, whether anything else gets accomplished or not. I am always grateful that no matter how busy the rest of the week is, I can look forward to the one day we’ve set aside for us!

 

imageMarriage is not about getting my way, but knowing how to serve my husband in a way that honors him. I was taught that the proper way to set the table was to put the drink on the right and the salad on the left, but my husband is strongly right-hand dominant and wants his salad on the right. For years I used to put it on the left and watch him move it every. Single. Time. Finally the Lord brought to my attention that the best thing to do was set it the way he wanted it and let it go! Marriage matters more than me getting my way.#mondaymarriagematters#whatdifferencedoesitmake#loveseeksnotherown

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One of the best things I can do for my marriage is to bring it before God’s Throne. This year I have really zeroed in on praying verses for my husband. This book is full of nothing but Scriptures that I can pray for Dale. I’m watching God answer those requests; what a blessing! My marriage matters to God!
#marriagemattersmonday

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I’m so thankful for a husband who will read scripture and pray with me. I never want to take it for granted. Saying thank you is a way to acknowledge it and let him know how much I appreciate it. #mondaymarriagematters

See what LITTLE gestures they all are?  But they make a huge impact in daily marriage.  I trust you’re pouring into your marriage each day – not just on the “biggie days” (anniversaries, birthdays, and Valentine’s Day).  The seeds you plant now will grow tall in the long run!

What was the last little gesture you did to show that your marriage matters?  

Check out Whitney’s recap that she posted yesterday!

Keep your marriage refreshed!

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Marriage

Monday Marriage Matters Recap

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As my husband and I approach our 35th anniversary, I’m realizing more and more how rare it is to have the word longevity attached to the word married.  The salon where I get a pedicure usually has young women working as the staff.  As I strike up conversation with them as they work, it seems that nearly every one of them has told me they came from a divorced home.  I realize that there are lots of reasons, and lots of stories, but it doesn’t change the fact that divorce is not God’s plan or idea for marriage.

Still, marriage is hard.  Marriage can have all kinds of difficult things to deal with, but marriage matters to God, and it must matter to those who believe and live out the Bible.  Someone has to make sure that communication happens.  It takes effort and intentional thought and planning to keep the marriage thriving!

It is for those reasons that I began the #Mondaymarriagematters photos on my Instagram.  I want to encourage women to post pictures of what they are doing to make the most of their marriage.  At the end of each month I do a recap of my pictures, and today it’s time for that review!

Here’s my month of pictures for Monday Marriage Matters:

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  • One Sunday evening after church, we took our meal outside to the back porch where I had turned on the white lights.  We sat on the swing and ate our simple lunch.  Afterwards we watched an episode of Andy Griffith together while cuddling on the swing.  It was romantic, simple and gave us time to unwind after a busy day of ministry.
  • We’re loving our new patio area and fire pit.  We had a fire for two one night!
  • Yesterday provided the perfect weather for a bike ride on a bike path near us.  We only rode about 5-6 miles, but we enjoyed sitting on a bench for a while.  It gave us uninterrupted time to talk and catch up after a busy weekend.  We also read Scripture together (on my husband’s phone) and then we had a time of prayer.  Sigh…what a sweet leader he is!
  • Dollywood is open for the season and we took one of our Monday’s off and spent a few hours walking through the park.  Season passes there give us a great place to get away together for the day to a place we both love.  We don’t really ride many rides when it’s just the two of us, but when you have eachother, it’s fun, no matter!

If you’re not joining us for the picture posts, I hope you’ll jump on board!  It really helps to have a little nudge to keep the romance flames burning!  Why?  Because Marriage matters!

You can follow me on Instagram at DeniseC_RefreshHer .

Lovingly,

 

 

Marriage

Blessed

RefreshHer3 Comments

Because you’re married to a pastor does not mean that life/marriage is a breeze.  We deal with tough things – just like every other couple.  We have disagreements, have need for apologies, and confession of wrongs.  Harsh words can be spoken, and hurts are suffered.  But because we’re believers and Christ is the center of our home, there is remedy for all that!  Then when those issues are cleared up, blessings can follow!

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I don’t think I share enough about the blessing I have in my husband.  This is for God’s glory, because my husband is God’s gift to me.  It’s certainly one I don’t deserve, but am so very thankful for! We shouldn’t wait for a special holiday, their birthday or their death to let others know what people mean to us.  So, will you oblige me?

I am blessed with a husband who:

  • loves God with all his heart.
  • loves me!
  • loves his daughters and sons-in-law
  • learned to love my cats!
  • is one of the most giving people I know!
  • is affectionate.
  • loves to have a good time.
  • loves people.
  • has a shepherd’s heart
  • has a passion for souls.
  • loves to shop!
  • has great taste!
  • loves to surprise me!
  • knows God’s Word and teaches it with passion both publicly and privately.
  • prays for me.
  • does the dishes!
  • vacuums every week.
  • takes off his shoes to keep from tracking in dirt inside.
  • encourages me to follow God through any open doors the Lord gives
  • is willing to say, “forgive me; I was wrong.”
  • reads my blog every day, and so I say – Dale, I thank God for you and I love you so very much!  You are one of my greatest blessings!

God is gracious to give us all what we do not deserve (beginning with salvation).  I am so grateful for the gift of marriage, and pray that the way I love and respond to my husband will be a picture of the Gospel to a lost world who is watching.

Have you told your husband how much you appreciate him and why?  He needs to hear it!  Today might be a great time to do just that!

Refresh your marriage,