Category: Parenting

Parenting

The Stuff of Life

RefreshHer3 Comments

This is what it looks like at the end of the hall in my house…

Alli has been packing to prepare to leave today to head back to college. There are:
cleaning supplies for the dorm room, dishes for meals eaten in the dorm, coffee pot for late night studying and early morning classes, umbrella (spite the fact that the torrential rains will blow sideways and the umbrella won’t help much), music for piano lessons, collapsible clothes hamper for the never ending laundry…

notebooks and paper for homework and projects,
a kitty to keep you company while you pack up, and to hinder you from packing your favorite pair of jeans…

a shoe bag to save space in the shared closet, stackable drawers for extra stuff that won’t fit in the dresser…

and of course suitcases for clothes, a picture album of the family, and the long-loved stuffed animal.

All this (and more not pictured) is packed up for the nine months of college life. Alli will be a sophomore this year and feels a little more prepared for college life than she did this time last year! Yep, this is the stuff of college life.

As my husband has been teaching on Sunday nights about discipline in the home, I thought about the discipline it takes the parent to train a child. There’s so much to teach them, and I’m not referring to homeschool. I’m talking about the every day things – the stuff of life that need to be discussed with our children before they leave home.

Proper table manners, etiquette, respect for elders, submission to authority, meal preparation, laundry instructions, how to iron, how to respond when dating, dating standards, biblical convictions and doctrines…the list seems endless when we consider what we should be teaching our children. These are conversations you have with them in the routine things of life – while you’re driving in the car, sitting and having lunch at McDonald’s, or tucking them into bed at night. That’s what Deuteronomy 6:7-9 is teaching…And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

I am amazed at how few parents teach their children the facts of life. If this is not taught by the parents, (mostly incorrect) information will be picked up here and there in lewd chats with friends. When girls approach puberty, take them alone to a special restaurant and talk with them about the upcoming changes. Make them understand God’s wonderful design and plan for their lives. Boys need chats with their father about how to treat a girl, how to be a gentleman, how to respond to girls in general.

When our children pack up to leave home, there should be tons more packed away in their hearts than stuffed in duffel bags in the back of the SUV! Begin today to teach them of the stuff of life!

With a heart of love,

Parenting

Training up a child in her way

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I just returned from taking Allison to piano lessons, then we made a trip to Music Doctors, a music store in our area. As Allison was looking at violin music I turned and looked at her and saw the sheer delight on her face as she thumbed through the music books looking for violin music that would challenge her.
Watching her reminded me of a message we heard at church recently about “training up a child in the way he should go.” We learned that this means to train the child in his way. No, don’t give him his way, train him in his way. In other words, in the way that he/she was created. From a very young age when Allison started taking piano I could see that she learned very quickly. Then when she began violin it was reiterated in my heart that God had gifted her with musical abilities. She had an ear for music, an ability not just to play, but to understand the music, interpret it, and love it.
Don’t think that because of that she was always eager to go to lessons! I can’t tell you how many times I had to proverbially “put my foot down” and tell her “no” to the plea to quit taking lessons. It wasn’t that I just wanted another musician in the family. I felt so responsible to develop the talents God had given her. I prayed about people that God would lead us to as instructors that could teach her and develop her skills. I told her that until she went to college she would continue both piano and violin; after that it would be her decision.

As we train our children, we must ask God to show us the way we can train them in their individual way, according to their gifts and abilities. He will answer that prayer! For our family training Allison in “her way” was the music way. The result? She looks forward to both of her lessons each week and practices many hours in preparation. The greatest result is that she is desiring a music major when she begins college next year so she can serve the Lord with her music. To God be the glory (and the musical praise)!