After more than forty years of marriage I’ve learned that

1. I will never be finished working on my marriage! Having a happy, fulfilling marriage where Christ is exalted, requires that we work on our marriage every.single.day. Yesterday I was intentional in pouring into our relationship with little things – I fixed Dale’s breakfast and took it to his study where he was having his Bible reading. I put toothpaste on his toothbrush when I put it on my own. I left him a note at the bathroom sink to thank him for something he did this week that pushed our family to the Lord. All these were small things, but they were investments.
2. I must be in God’s Word and prayer each day. Without this time, I would be operating in my flesh, and trust me, that’s not pretty! As I read Proverbs 19 yesterday I read that the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. The rain was coming down when I read that, so I had a visual of what my “drippy complaints” and grumbling look like in my marriage! God’s Word convicts, guides, instructs and teaches me how to live in my marriage. My prayer time gives me a place to take my concerns. I have a choice to leave them at the Savior’s feet, rather than slinging them at my husband! Jesus is the only One Who can remedy the issues, so I know wisdom is to take them to Him! My heart that has been refreshed in God’s Word, serves to refresh our whole home!
3. My presence sets the tone for our home. I’ve found that turning on soft instrumental music, lighting a candle, and having a cheery disposition (See point 2!), and other touches that create an inviting atmosphere makes a difference in how our home operates! It also helps Dale’s attitude when his wife is hopeful, happy and helpful to him!
4. Treat every day like it’s our last, because one day it will be. I often fall into bed exhausted and as I am drifting off to sleep I ‘ll have the thought – “We didn’t kiss goodnight yet!” Then I’ll reach over and we kiss goodnight, pray and then sleep peacefully. I don’t want to miss the opportunity to say “I love you” before he leaves the house, to hold hands in the car or take his arm as we walk. These are gifts each day, and I don’t want to neglect them!
5. Dale will never meet my every expectation, but Jesus does! That means I can let that hope go! He can’t read my mind, know my needs or supply each one! Psalm 62:5 has been in my mind often when I “feel like he owes me something!” He doesn’t – because he’s not my savior – Jesus is!

I pray these five reflections will help refresh your marriage today, too!