Ten Stress-Reducers for Marriage

March 3, 2017April 3, 2017 RefreshHer2 Comments

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For my Family Friday post today, I’m going to share my husband’s great thoughts from his message series of Putting Hope in Your Marriage. These are practical for every marriage – stress or no stress!

Refresh daily with God’s Word. Only His Word can help YOU be what you need to be.
Always put your spouse first. This requires humility…see point #1!
Build together time into your schedule. If you don’t put it in, it likely won’t happen.
Learn to say “NO.” This means you’re saying, “Yes” to more important things!
Cut out ministries that are burdensome and stale. If you’re plugging away at a ministry at church with no heart, it’s better to give it up and get refreshed. This will also allow you time to pour into your marriage, which is your FIRST ministry!
Serve together! Aquila and Priscilla served as a husband/wife team. Where could you serve with your spouse rather than away from him?
Communicate clearly and respectfully. Don’t use your words to punish!
Plan ahead. The anticipation of a fun date or time together is half the fun to me! If you plan it ahead of time, it will help you get through the stress-filled days of life!
Be “touchy.” Hold hands, hug, love with touch. It’s amazing what a loving hug will do after a hard time, isn’t it?!
Trust God. That means trust Him together. Stop together and pray about that stress. Read a passage of Scripture to your husband that encouraged your heart in the midst of your difficult day.

Thank the Lord for a marriage that can give one another hope in stressful times! Add some encouragement to your spouse today!

I’m excitedly heading to Michigan today for a Ladies’ Retreat! It’s cold and snowy up there, but I’m looking so forward to sharing time in God’s Word together! His Word is like an oasis in the midst of a blizzard, but I’m packing lots of warm layers anyway!!! I pray you have a refreshing weekend!

Refresh your marriage with hope!

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Family Friday – Marriage Advice from Two Seasoned Marriages

February 17, 2017February 16, 2017 RefreshHerLeave a comment

This week I have had the blessing of spending a few days in Kentucky with my parents. Family time is always a blessing – even if it includes being here with them during a time of physical issues and tests, like this visit. I also got to see my twin sister and her husband – an added blessing! We always end up having many long conversations – in the library, in the sun room, around the table at mealtimes and in the living room while we rest comfortably in their lovely and restful home.

Last night I asked questions to each of my parents, my sister and my brother-in-law after we finished supper. I was thinking about the longevity demonstrated in the marriages in that room. My parents are approaching 62 years, my sister and her husband, nearly 39. My question to each of them was,

What is one piece of advice you would give to married couples to help their marriage endure?

Here’s what they said,

Mom ~ “To young married couples, I would say to move away from your parents for at least the first year. That way if something comes up between you two, you can’t go running home – you have to work it out together.
To all marriages, I would say something that my mother told me – ‘Never make your children the center of your marriage, because if you do, when they leave home, you’ll be strangers to one another.'”

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Dad ~ “Each of you have to give 100%. You can’t do what you think is ‘your part’ and think you’ve done enough. Each has to give 100%.”

Jeff ~ “Learn to laugh and have fun. Don’t take yourselves too seriously. Remember, too, that you’ve made a covenant with God to stay together for life.”

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Dianne ~ “Leave your parents and cleave to your mate! Also out-serve one another. Rather than wishing he would do this or that, do for him. Pray for one another!

That’s some good advice! There’s lots more that all of them could add, but I just asked for one top thing they would tell marriages in order to go the long haul!

Which one of these comments struck a chord in your heart? Why not ask the Lord to help you implement that characteristic into your marriage beginning today?

Refresh your marriage,

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Family Friday- Your Husband is Worth It!

February 3, 2017February 2, 2017 RefreshHer7 Comments

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When I read in Scripture about some of the men having multiple wives, my heart cringes. I can’t even imagine the rivalry between “tender-eyed” Leah and lovely Rachel, sisters who both married Jacob. There’s enough right there for all kinds of trouble, right?!

But let’s set all that aside and look at one thing – Jacob noticed that Rachel was beautiful. He had eyes to see that she was lovely. Men are visual. Period. That is how God made them. When your husband chose you, he liked – no, he loved what he saw! What did he see? Think back to your introduction, or the time when his heart began to be drawn to you. How did you look to him?

I remember when my husband and I began to date seriously, he would come visit his parents for the weekend, which also happened to be the city where I lived and worked. Before he left very early on Sunday morning to head back to school, I would get up and get ready for church- shower, hair fixed, and dressed for the service. I wanted to look my best so he’d remember me that way in the weeks we were apart! Now obviously, since we’ve been married, he’s seen me LOTS of mornings before makeup and hair and he loves me. But I would be foolish to remain the plain, unkempt look for the rest of the day! After I add a bit of makeup and curl my very straight hair, it might not improve much, but it’s better than when I started, and my husband notices! Why do I do it? Because my husband is worth it!

I can get a bit weary of the girls on Instagram or blog world who say,

“Here’s my Momiform. This is just the way it is, folks!”

The caption is under a picture of her with leggings and a baggy t-shirt, hair pulled back in a pony tail and no makeup. Her message is that life is just too busy, too demanding to do anything else but pull this on and live in it until it’s time for bed.

No one has to be outfitted in finery, or look like a model, but putting on a pair of comfy jeans or pants, a top with some form, a pair of earrings, and five minutes at hair and at least some mascara and lip gloss, would not only make her husband smile, like Jacob looking at Rachel, but would probably also make her feel more energetic and ready for a day of demands before her! Seriously, getting ready for the day – even if you only have 30 minutes, will make you feel more like some body and doing something! Why do we do it? Because our husband is worth it!

Show your husband that he is worth it by gussying up a bit each day before he comes home. Wear something he loves to see you wear. Put on a necklace or scarf with those jeans. Add a little blush, mascara and lip gloss. Stop making excuses and just do it. Our husband sees all kinds of women every day that did take the time to look their best…we should too. Our marriage is worth it!

Is this a difficult assignment? I Corinthians 13 reminds us not to “seek our own.” If you were going to put his needs and desires before yours, how would that change your attitude even about your appearance?

Refresh your marriage,

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