Hey, Weary Mom…

October 30, 2024October 30, 2024 RefreshHer2 Comments

Adorned Series #13 – You can listen to this post here on Refresh Her podcast.

Hectic school routines, multiple discipline issues, outrages and temper tantrums, messes, stresses, spills and strong wills might describe your mothering yesterday, but I’m here to remind you that there is grace for the task in front of you today, dear mom!

Many women feel so overwhelmed at their task of mothering. I can remember wondering what it would feel like to just hop in the car mid-morning and head to the grocery store. That’s my high energy time! I thought about how fun it would be to be able to just GO! But I was a homeschooling mother, with two girls to train and educate. Our days were full and I usually went to the store at the end of the day when I was weary. However, it was not a sacrifice!

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Six Suggestions for Stressed-Out Moms

September 28, 2018September 28, 2018 RefreshHer2 Comments

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Sticky floors, piles of laundry, emotional meltdowns, food battles, dirty diapers, frequent illnesses, limited outside activities, bedtime squabbles and marital strain all point to one thing —-

an overwhelmed mom.

Did I just describe you? How did I do it? I’ve been there. I remember the days of wondering Continue reading “Six Suggestions for Stressed-Out Moms” →

children · Encouragement · Family life · home · Motherhood · Uncategorized

School, Seasons and Sad Momma’s

August 25, 2017August 25, 2017 RefreshHer7 Comments

I want to take just a minute to encourage moms today. From one who has been there, I realize that this time of year can be an emotional roller coaster for women who may feel they aren’t needed in their children’s lives quite like prior years. My only longing is to give a biblical perspective to guide a mom’s heart. So, here we go…

Late August can only mean one thing for children – school is back in session. For some of their momma’s, there is relief of no more slamming screen doors, frantic baseball schedules and camp-bound teens. They greet the fall and its changes with a happy sigh and open arms.

But for some moms, this school session brings sadness because they’re not just staring at lunch boxes and back packs; they’re staring at the changes it has brought. Perhaps…

One child has left home to head to their first year of college.
A daughter is in their last year of elementary school.
A son is in his last year of junior high.
All children are out of school and out of the home due to graduation and/or marriage.

The type of changes could go on and on, but the truth is, every year we live is going to be full of what we often stiff-arm – a change in the seasons of our life. Here’s a beautiful reminder in God’s Word in Ecclesiastes 3 about the seasons of our lives:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

God has given us a mother’s heart to love our children, to love parenting and nurturing them, so how are we to deal with an end or a change of those seasons? How can we find joy and a reason to move on when our role is different and we don’t feel quite as useful or needed as a mom?

Think on Truth. We are commanded in Philippians 4:8 to think on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy. Therefore, if I let myself constantly think about those early days of my child’s life, and how much I miss when my girls were toddlers on teenagers, all I have to do is look into their current photos to realize that that is not the truth for today. Today they are grown, married and moving on in God’s will.Thinking about the truth of today could remind us that our kids are maturing; they’re developing into people that can serve God. Are they doing what we raised them to do, to serve and love God? Wonderful! Praise His name! If they’re away from the Lord, we can remind ourselves of the Truth that the Word we poured into them will not return void. God loves them more than we do and is pursuing them. What comfort Truth gives!
Enjoy the memories of former days with a proper perspective. Isn’t God gracious to allow us the blessing of being able to remember those past seasons? It’s fun to flip through photos and recall the years now behind us. But while you’re recalling those times, be honest with yourself and remember that those days also brought some hardships.We home-schooled our girls almost completely through, meaning I was a home-schooling mom for twenty years. While I loved it and was thankful for the opportunity to pour into my girls’ lives, I remember days when I just wished I could go to Walmart alone! Some days I tired of dissecting earthworms and reading book reports. It’s easy to focus on the highlights and get discontented with here-and-now. Be real when you’re looking back.
Honor your children and God when you reflect. If this next description is you, I honestly mean no ill, but I ask you to consider the reality for a minute. What adult wants their mom to post pictures or comments about their child, desiring that they were “a little boy once again?” I’m sure none of us would have wanted our mother-in-law to post toddler pictures of our husband because that’s how she wished she could see him. What girl wants to be remembered today as only what she was many years ago? If we really want to honor our children and be respectful of them (and their spouse, if they’re married) we will remember those former days only in our heart, and not on social media. Being considerate of their maturity is one small way to honor who they are today.How can we honor God in the way we remember our past seasons? Don’t think that your best days of serving Him was when you had children at home, or when they were littler, or more needy of you. Do you have a mate? Are you pouring as much energy and time into him? Each year as your children need you less, transfer that energy to your husband. If you have a ministry at church, give it your all. Find a younger woman to mentor and be a blessing in her life by spending time in God’s Word, working on projects together, praying with/for her and helping her in this busy season of her life!

I’m really not trying to get hate mail, but I only desire to encourage women to live as God would have us. Today is a gift from His hand, meant for serving, enjoying and laying up treasures in heaven. Don’t regret what’s gone – reboot and move on! This is a new season, Mom! Thank the Lord for yesterday and ask Him for a new opportunity to get out of bed, then put a smile on your face and be happy today! That might just mean going grocery shopping…alone! =)

What has been the most difficult time in your role as a mom?

Refresh your “momma” heart,

Uncategorized

Rest During Motherhood

May 19, 2015May 18, 2015 RefreshHer3 Comments

Yesterday after enjoying dinner at a quaint restaurant we stepped out into the garden area in the back and came upon the scene in the picture above. Two little baby ducklings were waddling about, over the rocks, down the embankment and into the water. They were continually on the move and right behind them was their momma, honking out her warning to us, the intruders. She never let them out of her sight and was right on their heels as they investigated their surroundings. It was so sweet to watch. That Mommy duck was very busy! She was constantly moving – trying to keep up with her little ones. I wondered if she ever wanted to just sit on the edge of the pond and take a break!

My heart went out to Momma duck, and my mind also went to the nature and roll of all mommies. We protect, we oversee, we guide, we stand guard, just like that momma duck was doing. God puts it in our hearts to want to provide that safety for our little ducklings, and if anyone or any situation could harm them, we’re ready to honk out a good warning. .But let’s face it, weariness steps in.

We keenly teach the safety of helmets for bike riding, the “left, right, left” method for learning to cross the street, holding scissors with the point in their hands, and refraining from talking to strangers. We discipline, teach, and correct, as we follow our children all over their little pond. It’s exhausting work being a mommy.

All moms get to the exhausted point from time to time, and the desire to sit at the water’s edge and just let those children “swim on their own” for a while is a huge temptation. A mom may put the kids in front of the television for a while so she can rest. She may send them to their room, or lock herself in a room where they can’t reach her for a while. There’s certainly nothing wrong with a child learning to play on their own, or watch a limited amount of quality television, but there may be better ways to get a break from swimming after your ducklings. May I suggest:

Get together with a few moms at a local park or a Chick-Fil-A play area and let them play with other children while all the mommy ducks visit and supervise. Those moms that meet you there will be as needy of a time away and will be thankful you were willing to send out a Facebook request or email to ask them to join you!
Attend a story time at your local library. Your children will be engaged in hearing a story and perhaps having an activity and you can sit back and enjoy a moment of secondary supervision!
Exchange baby sitting with a friend. You keep her children one day and she keeps yours another day. Go out alone. Enjoy some coffee and a book,shopping for groceries, or getting your hair cut and styled.
Utlitze your church’s programs. If you love your church enough to be there to grow as a believer, then you should be able to trust the workers with your children. Send them to Sunday school, children’s church and VBS. This is the BEST time for you to be able to worship and grow in services.
Pray about your husband giving you an hour or two away. Approach him at the right time and ask when it would be a good time for him to sit with the kids while you get out.

Being a mommy is hard work that is non-stop, but unlike the mommy duck I watched, you can provide opportunities for refreshment and rest so you’ll be able to continue swimming with the ducklings!

Refresh yourself in the thick of motherhood!

With love,