Conflict · Family life · home · Wife's Role

What Would You Give Up Just To Have Peace In Your Home?

As a woman who loves to bake, I can tell you that there’s nothing more disheartening than baking up a new bread recipe then cutting a slice after it’s cooled only to find that it’s dry

Ugh.

It’s frustrating to go to all that trouble only to have dry morsels fill your mouth like so many tumbleweeds in the desert. But did you know that God’s Word tells us that there is a time when dry bread can be a good thing?!

Proverbs 17: 1 says

Better is a dry morsel with quietness,

Than a house full of feasting with strife.

There is nothing appealing about a dry morsel to our taste buds, but God’s Word says the blessing of quietness and peace is so great, that it makes a dry morsel more desirable than moist bread, dipped in Olive oil!

This passage is saying that peace in the home is beyond all other material blessings. A home full of feasting is wonderful, until that home is full of strife. Have you experienced how hard it is to take a bite of anything when there’s strife and contention around the table? We all have.

If peace is so desirable, then what keeps us from having it?  Why isn’t it permeating from our family relationships as it should?

There can be other causes, but ladies,  God’s Word gives us several pictures in Proverbs that point the finger of strife in our direction. It’s a hard picture to look at because it’s very telling. This is convicting to my own selfish heart.  Listen to ways we can destroy the peace…

A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Prov. 19:13

It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. Prov. 21:9

Prov. 25:24 It is better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Prov. 15:16, 17 Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure with turmoil.

Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, Than a fatted calf with hatred.

Listen to what is being traded in so that apeace can be found –

  • Strife
  • Quarrels
  • turmoil
  • brawling
  • hatred

What would a person take so they could enjoy quietness at home?

  • a corner of the housetop
  • a corner of the roof
  • just a little material goods
  • a dinner of herbs
  • a dry morsel

Love sweetens dry morsels

~Matthew Henry

If you’re realizing that there is little peace in your home, recognize that if you are a child of God, you have the Prince of Peace living in you! The Christ in you should permeate each relationship, allowing His peace to rule.

Ask the Lord if you’ve contributed to the strife by being contentious and quarrelsome. Be still and let His Spirit speak to you. Then humble yourself and make it right before God and also your family. Invite them to come in off the rooftop, and serve up some dry morsels, slathered with love. Peace will return.

P.S. It’s better for your pride to be hurt than your family destroyed.

Lovingly,

Home making · Wife's Role · Women's roles

Maytag, Messes and Meals, Part 2

I recently saw an Instagram video of a house that had been flipped. The months of work were finished and it was beautiful. Not only was the structure beautiful, but so was each room! They had a professional stager come in and place furniture and decor in each room to make potential buyers see its possibilities.  It seemed to have everything, but one thing it is lacking is people.  In its present state, it is a pretty house, but it is not a home. What will it take to turn it into one? People.

People make a house a home.

So as you and I step into our house with another person – just our mate, or perhaps also our children, we must realize that the most important part of that structure is not the beautiful hardwood floors or the vaulted ceilings – it’s the people who live there. Someone has to do some building of love, structure and routines to create a happy and comfortable place for that family to live. That “someone” is you and me. God has given us that nurturing, nesting nature to help us with the building of our home. How do we build? With God’s wisdom.

Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pluck down with her hands.
Proverbs 14:1

I can remember a time when I was a child that my mom was away from home for a week while she had surgery. Back then you were kept in the hospital a week or so to regain strength before returning home. My dad did his best taking care of me and my sisters, but my mom’s presence was missed so much. Things just weren’t the same without her cheery disposition. A wife and mother adds to a home what no one else can bring. We minister to our family in ways I don’t think we can fully comprehend. We must be deliberate about building the lives that gather there

Home should be the one place on the earth where everything will be alright. That’s our sphere – our responsibility, our role – to build the home. We’re not talking about a perfect family – there is no such thing, but a place where there is love and acceptance, forgiveness and encouragement, provision and rest.

Home needs to be a little bit of heaven on earth. Every man needs a place that is a refuge for him.  Every child needs a place that is a safe haven from the world. That is the kind of place we must build.

The negative part of Proverbs 14:1 says that the foolish pluck down their home with their hands. How?

  1. Actively – Anger out of control that throws things, slams doors, slams dishes on the table, rips things up, tears things up. It can tear up a little heart and mind and it can destroy and ruin a person and a home.
  2. Passively – This is simply a failure to work – it’s laziness! We’re to be building; it’s active. We can pluck down our own home just by failing to do the work. We just never get around to it.
    We watch too much t.v., spend too much time on social media, so things aren’t getting done, or we’re not home enough to accomplish the work.

We’re on assignment from God to build a house. We must steer clear of every act, every hindrance that would interfere in building that home.

We must make a decision or a commitment to build, or begin to build.
It’s not too late!
The enemy would want you too think it is, and it won’t make any difference, but that’s not true! You can begin today by asking God to give you wisdom about how to build and then do it.

Just do one thing for the people in your home. Build the atmosphere with your loving touch. Be there. Notice. Listen. Look. Love. Care. Make a difference in their lives.

Next time we’ll discuss some of the particular ways we can manage and care for our home. Until then, do the One Thing the Lord brings to your mind.

Refresh your home by building,

home · Marriage

Family Friday- Your Husband is Worth It!

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When I read in Scripture about some of the men having multiple wives, my heart cringes.  I can’t even imagine the rivalry between “tender-eyed” Leah and lovely Rachel, sisters who both married Jacob. There’s enough right there for all kinds of trouble, right?!

But let’s set all that aside and look at one thing – Jacob noticed that Rachel was beautiful.  He had eyes to see that she was lovely.  Men are visual.  Period.  That is how God made them.  When your husband chose you, he liked – no, he loved what he saw!  What did he see?  Think back to your introduction, or the time when his heart began to be drawn to you.  How did you look to him?

I remember when my husband and I began to date seriously, he would come visit his parents for the weekend, which also happened to be the city where I lived and worked.  Before he left very early on Sunday morning to head back to school, I would get up and get ready for church- shower, hair fixed, and dressed for the service.  I wanted to look my best so he’d remember me that way in the weeks we were apart!  Now obviously, since we’ve been married, he’s seen me LOTS of mornings before makeup and hair and he loves me.  But I would be foolish to remain the plain, unkempt look for the rest of the day!  After I add a bit of makeup and curl my very straight hair, it might not improve much, but it’s better than when I started, and my husband notices!  Why do I do it?  Because my husband is worth it!

I can get a bit weary of the girls on Instagram or blog world who say,

“Here’s my Momiform.  This is just the way it is, folks!”

The caption is under a picture of her with leggings and a baggy t-shirt, hair pulled back in a pony tail and no makeup.  Her message is that life is just too busy, too demanding to do anything else but pull this on and live in it until it’s time for bed.

No one has to be outfitted in finery, or look like a model, but putting on a pair of comfy jeans or pants, a top with some form, a pair of earrings, and five minutes at hair and at least some mascara and lip gloss, would not only make her husband smile, like Jacob looking at Rachel, but would probably also make her feel more energetic and ready for a day of demands before her!  Seriously, getting ready for the day – even if you only have 30 minutes, will make you feel more like some body and doing something!  Why do we do it?  Because our husband is worth it!  

Show your husband that he is worth it by gussying up a bit each day before he comes home.  Wear something he loves to see you wear.  Put on a necklace or scarf with those jeans.  Add a little blush, mascara and lip gloss. Stop making excuses and just do it.  Our husband sees all kinds of women every day that did take the time to look their best…we should too.  Our marriage is worth it!

Is this a difficult assignment?  I Corinthians 13 reminds us not to “seek our own.”  If you were going to put his needs and desires before yours, how would that change your attitude even about your appearance?

Refresh your marriage,

Denise Signature 150 px

Husband · Marriage

Marital Deposits

WHILE waiting in line at the bank, a man developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller’s window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took the man’s check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.”Why not?” the man asked incredulously.”I’m sorry, sir,” she replied, ” but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact,” she continued, “our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000.””It can’t be!” he cried. “You have to be kidding!” “Yes, I am,” she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. “But you will notice that your hiccups are gone.”

Most of us know the sinking feeling when there weren’t sufficient funds in the bank to cover our withdrawals. It makes for a rough day, doesn’t it?

 While we are ever so careful to guard our bank account from being over drawn, I wonder what the records would show on the monthly statement of our marriage? How many withdrawals have you made? Wives need love, affection, attention, compliments, encouragement, dates, pampering, help around the house, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on… Each one of those represent a withdrawal from our marriage account. Now, think back on this past week – what kind of deposits have you made? Not the monetary kind – but the relational kind.

  • Have you shown respect for your husband with your words?
  • Have you elevated him in front of others?
  • Have you thanked him for being a provider for your family?
  • Have you done a thoughtful gesture for him? (Bought his favorite candy bar, written him a note, made his favorite meal, took him out on a special date or created one at home- you get the idea)
  • Have you spent time doing something he enjoys even though it might not be your favorite activity?
  • Have you done something to lighten his load?

These things (and many others) are ways we make deposits into our marriage. There’s a double blessing here – we’re meeting the needs of our husband and rediscovering what a joy it is to be married. It’s fun! It is God’s plan and He can only do what is good!

Take a thorough check into your “account” and make sure you’re not overdrawn! If it’s been a while since you’ve put something into your marriage, you might surprise your husband so much you’ll scare his hiccups away!

How have you made deposits into your marriage this week?

Lovingly,