When Your Homemaking Skills Turn Into a Curse Rather Than a Blessing

February 2, 2022July 5, 2025 RefreshHer2 Comments

She could make a mean Roast Venison. It was juicy, tender and perfectly flavored with just the right herbs added. When Rebekah added a side of crispy potatoes and warm bread dipped in olive oil, her husband Isaac was no doubt a happy man! What a wonderful cook he had been blessed with!

Rebekah had been brought from her homeland to be Isaac’s wife and he couldn’t have been more pleased with God’s choice. Not only was she beautiful, she was also a wonderful homemaker.

Her presence comforted. Isaac who had been grieving his mother’s death. She eased his sorrow as he turned his love and devotion to her, his precious wife.

And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. Gensis 24:67

It is so touching that Rebekah was a blessing to her new husband, but as you continue to read their story in Genesis Chapter 27, things change. I see in Rebekah a warning about how wives can turn their homemaking skills into a curse in their husband’s life, rather than the blessing it should be. Here’s how:

When we love others more than our husband.
It happens. It could happen when children come along, and the husband is pushed to the background. Our love for them exceeds the love for the man we married. We show it in our preference of their needs over his, just as we see Rebekah arranging for Jacob to get the blessing Isaac had promised to Esau. Words like, “Don’t tell your father…” are a sure warning that the child is in a place of prominence over the husband.
If it’s not a child, it could be our parents, siblings or friends. We might not say we love them more, but our actions prove it, just as we see in Rebekah’s life. When we spend greater time with everyone else, and leave our husband out of our plans, another flag should go up.
When we put people or things first – Rebekah is clearly putting her son before her husband. She’s thinking about how she can help him succeed, rather than putting herself under the loving authority of Isaac. You and I can do that by making a schedule for our week without consulting our husband. We can make time to use our homemaking skills for grandchildren or friends and never consider what his needs might be. Our job or a ministry could get our best and be allowed to smother the marriage relationship. We should regularly be asking, “How can I serve and help my husband succeed today?”
When we don’t stop to pray and consider our husband’s needs. Rebekah didn’t stop and ask the Lord how she could best be Isaac’s helper here in this chapter. She obviously doubted that his desire to bless Esau was best. Rather than acting on it with her own scheme, she should have first prayed about it and then spoken to Isaac. Isn’t it easy to rush on and do what we feel is best without considering why our mate is responding the way he is? We could instead inquire about what he’s doing and ask how we can help.
When we are insensitive. Poor Isaac was nearly blind to the point that he couldn’t distinguish faces! Rebekah used that weakness against him instead of having compassion towards him. It’s easy to let a weakness be a frustration.
Hearing loss is one I’m adjusting to in my marriage. Repeating something over (and then maybe over again) can be frustrating, but if I’m sensitive to Dale, I’ll answer in a sweet tone, because I have compassion towards his weakness. We need to get under our husband’s skin to try to empathize with his difficulties. We will then be more inclined to have compassion on him.
When we serve with selfish motives. Rebekah made the venison she knew Isaac loved, but purely out of selfish ambition. She only cared that the meal brought a desired result. If we cook, bake or serve in our home in any way so that we will get what we want, it’s not done as a blessing, but a curse.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. I Corinthians 7:3

Rebekah’s homemaking skills started out as a huge blessing to Isaac, but in the end, they turned into a curse. Her home was never the same after that meal of venison was prepared. Jacob (her favorite person) was gone, Esau rebelled after seeing his mother’s preference and no doubt, she created a distance between herself and Isaac.

No matter how limited your homemaking skills may be, use them to bless the husband that God gave you.
Love him most.
Put him first.
See his needs.
Be compassionate towards him.
Serve unselfishly.

Managing Your Home To Make Your Work Easier

January 28, 2022April 17, 2022 RefreshHer1 Comment

home·mak·er

hōmˌmākər/noun NORTH AMERICAN – a person, especially a housewife, who manages a home.

I think the reason many women don’t enjoy cooking is simply because their work space makes it difficult. This is a clear sign for the need to manage that space in order to maximize your homemaking efforts.

Yesterday I was sweeping the floor and opened my pantry door to see if it could use a swipe through. Yep. Onion skins around the produce basket and a sprinkling of little crumbs at the baseboards told me it needed some attention. I pulled the basket out, and then my flour tin. “Oh, might as well pull everything out and give it a good sweep” I thought.

Two hours later, I was leaving the kitchen! Why? Because once I began working in the pantry, I found more and more areas that needed some management.

Homemakers definitely need to constantly guide the affairs of the home. Without it, tasks are disorganized and difficult.

When I’m working on a space, I ask myself,

Does this space make it easy for me to do my work?

If the answer is no, I work until I feel like I’ve fixed the problem!

Here are some suggestions of ways I do that ~

Move frequently used items to shelves I can reach without having to pull out the step stool.
Fill jars with items I use frequently – oatmeal, brown sugar, confectioners sugar, chocolate chips and rice. It is so much easier to scoop those ingredients from a jar than to open up bags and boxes.

Seldom used items are place up high and out of the way.
Frequently used utensils are within my reach.
Salt and pepper are at my hand near the stove for ease in cooking.
All baking tools are in one area, keeping me from going from one spot to another to gather rolling pin, measuring cups and spoons.
All baking ingredients are also easy to get to.
The trash can is in a spot that is accessed easily.
I also always have a “garbage bowl”out when I’m cooking or baking. It’s a container that sits on the counter and holds the trash – egg shells, onions skin, potato peel, empty cans and anything else that is needs to be thrown away. It all goes in there and gets dumped when I’m finished cooking. It saves me steps while I’m working.

How about walking into your kitchen and asking yourself, what area makes cooking burdensome, rather than easy? Then set to work to fix that problem. Managing your home well will make your homemaking work easier! You might even find that a task you disliked isn’t so bad after all!

What area in your kitchen is most frustrating to you?

Home making · Kitchen Tips · Meal planning · Spiritual Refreshment

Mid-Week Kitchen happenings

October 6, 2021March 11, 2025 RefreshHerLeave a comment

Kitchen is a busy place – not just when you’re cooking. It takes daily work to keep things organized, efficient and well-planned. This is an important part of the work in the kitchen.

I was away last week and then have been quite busy since returning home. That means things were lacking in the kitchen. I have been working to get things straightened up, freshened up and planned for the week ahead.

I love to gather inspiration for meal planning. I find lots of good ideas in the Relish magazine that comes in the Sunday newspaper.

How cute is that board full of fall treats? I’m definitely going to make a version of that this month!

These sliders look so good, too! They’d be perfect on game day, if you have some football fans! They would also be good for a weekend supper.

If you’re in a menu rut, pull out an old cookbook and flip through it for some fresh inspiration. You might even find an old recipe you haven’t made in a while that you need to recreate! Go to the library and check out a new cookbook or a food magazine like Taste of Home. You’re sure to get some good inspiration there! I know the Internet is full of great ideas, but sometimes I find it easier and more fun to use a printed form.

I am freshening up some kitchen decor. I’m removing all the red items in my kitchen and the last things to go were my red rooster canisters. I found clear glass jars at Home Goods and they were exactly what I was looking for! The opening is large enough for a cup measure to fit inside – a must, in my opinion!

I also took some time to clean out the drawers in my island and while I was at it, I changed out the drawer liner. It’s amazing what a little addition like that can do!

I love being in the kitchen, and keeping it inviting is important. It keeps me motivated and happy about being in there!

Let’s use all this to make a spiritual application. It can be so easy to be busy doing all the things that followers of Christ do – attending church, serving others, teaching a class, and attending a Bible study that we forget to maintain our own walk with God. Things get “messy” and overlooked. We must intentionally take time to just be with God. Spend longer time in prayer just enjoying communing with Christ, hearing from Him as you sit quietly and allow Him to speak to you. Sing. Confess. Worship. Fellowship with the God who loves you and rejoices over you because you are His child. You’ll find that you are energized for the spiritual works before you.

So, what is the mid-week activity of your spiritual life looking like? Are you too busy? Stop and focus on the Lord so then you can move forward in your tasks with purpose and joy!

In your kitchen, are you planning and also staying motivated for meal times? Are there areas you need to freshen up? It’s worth it to spend a little time taking care of those needs. You’ll probably find you’re more productive! But if you can only focus on one area, start with your spiritual needs and then ask the Lord to guide the work of your hands.

Cleaning · Home making · refreshment at home

Getting the Most Done Each Day

May 14, 2021May 13, 2021 RefreshHer10 Comments

It was 10:00 in the morning. I was dressed and ready for the day and I had already:

Taken care of the cat (If you’re a cat owner, you know that your cat will make sure that happens first!)
Swept the floor in the laundry room
Thrown in a load of laundry
Made the bed
Cleaned the bathroom
Wiped off the mirrors in the bathroom and bedroom
Made baked oatmeal
Emptied the dishwasher

I had also had my time in the Word and prayer, and my husband and I had also been guests on a podcast before 10:00! I was thankful that these things were done, because the rest of the day was also full of responsibilities. Not every day is as busy or productive and “My life is not about checking off boxes!” (I say to myself each day!).

My life is driven by my relationship with the Lord. I desire He direct my steps each day so that I can live my life for His glory. But God is a god of order and beauty, so that motivates me to live out each day in the same way. I don’t want to be driven by the constant demand of household chores and duties, but I desire to be the Keeper of my home so that it runs smoothly and efficiently.

In my years of homemaking, I have learned that the most adequate way to keep that happening is by having a daily routine. Most every bullet at the top of this post is done every single day of the week. I could do most of those things half asleep simply because it’s part of my daily routine.

Getting my day organized by doing the same things every day keeps my meals prepped, my laundry clean and the house in order. Here are some of the other things that I do every single day:

Put away my clothes when changing.
Clean up the kitchen after each meal.
Clear off any clutter from the kitchen counter.
Wipe down the stove top after cooking.
Spray the fridge, microwave and kitchen trash can with window spray.
Empty the trash.
Do one load of laundry.
Fold and put away the laundry as soon as possible after it’s dried.
Empty the litter box.
Sweep the floor.
Clean the main bathroom.
Straighten up the living areas (family room, living room).

The picture of my family room at the top of this post is my view while I’m writing. I did nothing to this room when I came in here today, and we use this room every day. It stays neat and clean, thanks to my daily routines. Without that, things would be a mess!

What do you need to add to your daily routine in order to be more effective as the keeper of your home? Make an evaluation of your “problem areas” then make a routine that will keep things in check. I’ve heard Whitney say many times that she has a routine for each day of the week – a day for laundry, a day for watering the plants, etc. That’s also helpful!

If I can give you suggestions or help, don’t hesitate to ask in the comments, or feel free to email me. My email address is in my contact page.

Here are some other cleaning posts (done in our previous home) that might spur you on to do some deep cleaning.

Refresh your home with routine!

Home making · Women's roles

What Does a Homemaker Do All Day?

August 28, 2020October 7, 2024 RefreshHer17 Comments

What is your employment?

I’m a homemaker.

Oh.

Enter blank stare.

I have had that awkward conversation in the past.
I think it could be easy for women who work outside the home to wonder…

Is there really enough to keep a woman busy homemaking all day long?

It could be easy to assume that a homemaker has lots of down time, time to just sit and do anything she wants! But just as with any assumption, those statements are far from the truth. May I take you through one of my weeks and give you a little glimpse at the busyness and the joy of being a homemaker?

My children are gone from home, but I’m still their mom, and that means I have the blessing of participating in celebrating their birthdays and our family holidays. So that involves cooking, decorating the table, purchasing gifts and being the hostess.

On Saturday and Sunday I was busy with attending Bible study, doing laundry, preparing Sunday’s clothes and dinner, fellowship with friends, and worship on Sunday morning. Then on Sunday evening we traveled to Kentucky to visit my parents and also get to see my aunt and uncle from Florida. I helped my mom prepare the meal for our family, which was a blessing.

When I got home on Tuesday, I had a half bushel of South Carolina peaches waiting for me. I really enjoy canning, and I really love the reward of opening my pantry and seeing these jars on the shelves! It’s a labor of love that we enjoy all year long!

In case you didn’t know, I’m also a Gigi (ha!!)! Each week I have the boys over for Bible Club. This week it was really hot, so they came over to use the pool that we had prayed for when every store was sold out! They had so much fun and so did I! I got to remind them that we had asked God to provide a pool and He did it!! It’s my greatest joy to point their little hearts to the Lord!

Daily it is my joy to prepare meals for me and my husband. I try really hard to provide food that is healthy and delicious. It takes time and effort, but it’s worth it! We love being outside during the warm days, so this lunch was served Al fresco, as are most all of them during the summer months!

Not pictured is the house work- mopping, wiping, dusting, polishing, ironing, sweeping, gardening, straightening, fluffing, decorating, and folding that happens weekly.

Of course I also have a personal life and a ministry life. As a wife, I try to serve my husband (though I feel like he does a whole lot more serving me than I do him! I take time each morning to study God’s Word, to journal and pray. In an effort to stay active, I walk two miles at least three times a week.

I take time sometime during the days to prepare and study for my radio ministry, my blog and any speaking engagements that are coming up. So I do spend a good bit of time at my computer.

It feels like the days are very full, but honestly, so is my heart. My husband worked three jobs early in our ministry life to provide so I could stay home and be the homemaker. He has sacrificed, because he has seen the benefit of my presence in the home. I am so very thankful!

There were times that I have been embarrassed about telling someone what my “employment” was, but I’ve learned over the years that being a homemaker is a high calling. I couldn’t be more fulfilled doing anything else!

What do I do?

I get to be a homemaker!!!!

Do you wish you were a homemaker but have to work out of necessity? Pray. Ask the Lord if He would give you the desire of your heart. Wait and watch what He will do! In the meantime, do what He has called yo to do with a thankful, contented heart.

Are you a homemaker? What do you love most about it? What do you dislike?

Here are some other encouragements about homemaking!