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The Power of a Woman’s Words

The theme for this week’s posts is a subject I’m studying every day this month – WORDS.  They can be wise or foolish, helpful or destructive.  Let’s start with speech towards our mate ~


For many years now, it has been my habit to read the chapter in Proverbs that corresponds to the date of the month. The Lord teaches me something every day from that practical book. Recently the Holy Spirit has shown me the power of a woman’s words.

In chapter seven, the Holy Spirit showed me that the Strange woman (the adulterous woman) uses her words to seduce a man. Listen to what this passage says about her speech:

  • She is loud – Verse 11
  • With an impudent face (she) said unto him,
    I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.
    Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee. Vs 13-15
  • With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lipsshe forced him. Verse 21

In chapter nine, we see again, the power of her words:

  • A foolish woman is clamorous: (vigorous in demand) she is simple, and knoweth nothing.
    For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city, To call passengers who go right on their ways: Vs 13-15
  • Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him, Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.
    But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell. Verses 16-18

We see the negative affect a woman’s words can have on a man. Men desire to be admired, sought after, and respected. The woman that uses these kinds of phrases and words to a man that isn’t her husband is treading in dangerous waters. She’s capturing his heart, and she knows what she is doing.

However, a wise woman should read those verses and be reminded that each of us needs to be using our words to build up and admire the man that God gave to us as our husband. He needs to hear fair speech at home!

Honey, I’ve looked for you to return home all day today. I missed you while you were at work! You look tired, and I’ve prepared a favorite meal and have made sure this will be a restful evening for you.

Let’s take our cue from this woman and use right speech at home so our husband will be anxious to return each day.

What kind of speech did you use this morning? Do you need to make things right? Do so, then love him the rest of the day with your wise words!

Use your words to refresh your mate!

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Ten Stress-Reducers for Marriage


For my Family Friday post today, I’m going to share my husband’s great thoughts from his message series of Putting Hope in Your Marriage.  These are practical for every marriage – stress or no stress!

  1. Refresh daily with God’s Word.  Only His Word can help YOU be what you need to be.
  2. Always put your spouse first.  This requires humility…see point #1!
  3. Build together time into your schedule.  If you don’t put it in, it likely won’t happen.
  4. Learn to say “NO.” This means you’re saying, “Yes” to more important things!
  5. Cut out ministries that are burdensome and stale.  If you’re plugging away at a ministry at church with no heart, it’s better to give it up and get refreshed.  This will also allow you time to pour into your marriage, which is your FIRST ministry!
  6. Serve together!  Aquila and Priscilla served as a husband/wife team.  Where could you serve with your spouse rather than away from him?
  7. Communicate clearly and respectfully. Don’t use your words to punish!
  8. Plan ahead. The anticipation of a fun date or time together is half the fun to me!  If you plan it ahead of time, it will help you get through the stress-filled days of life!
  9. Be “touchy.” Hold hands, hug, love with touch.  It’s amazing what a loving hug will do after a hard time, isn’t it?!
  10. Trust God.  That means trust Him together.  Stop together and pray about that stress.  Read a passage of Scripture to your husband that encouraged your heart in the midst of your difficult day.

Thank the Lord for a marriage that can give one another hope in stressful times!  Add some encouragement to your spouse today!

I’m excitedly heading to Michigan today for a Ladies’ Retreat!  It’s cold and snowy up there, but I’m looking so forward to sharing time in God’s Word together!  His Word is like an oasis in the midst of a blizzard, but I’m packing lots of warm layers anyway!!!  I pray you have a refreshing weekend!

Refresh your marriage with hope!

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Praise · Speech

How Can I Praise During Trials?

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You bump into a friend you haven’t seen in a long time while your’re out getting groceries and you know the question that is coming your way…

How are you doing?

If you say, “Fine!” you know you’ll be lying, but you just read Scripture that says that everything that has breath should praise the Lord!

You may be wondering:

How can I give praise to God during trials?

Let’s look at Scripture for our answer.

In Psalm 61, David begins with crying and sorrow.  Then he points his heart towards His Rock.  He doesn’t just dwell on the sorrow, he looks to the One who can help.  Then he ends this short psalm with praise to the Lord.  He says, “You, oh God heard my vows and have given me a godly heritage!  So will I sing praise unto thy name forever that I may daily perform my vow.

By the end of the psalm it almost seems that he’s forgotten his sorrow, and so do his readers!  What a great example.

An example from the New Testament is Paul in II Corinthians 12:7-10.  He tells about the “messenger from Satan” that was given to buffet him, lest he should be exalted.  He was given some physical issue that was troublesome.  He prayed three times that God would remove it, but God told Paul that his grace would be sufficient to bear it.  Now how does he respond?  He doesn’t complain or criticize God.  Instead he says,

Most gladly will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ may rest on me.

He points to the sufficiency of his God!

So you and I, when going through hardship, can indeed share the difficulty to someone who asks, but we must quickly then shift the focus off ourselves onto Christ.

I have a special lady in my life who has endured suffering for about six years now.  She was so active before her illness took her down!  Now she is pretty much confined to home, yet when anyone visits with her, she never dwells on her physical limitations!  Instead she pulls out her journal and begins to share all the things God has recently taught her while she’s been still!  You cannot be in her presence without knowing that she loves the Lord!  There’s no denying she’s suffering, but her focus is on the goodness of her God in the midst of her trouble.


She is like the psalmist who said in Psalm 119:71 – 

It is good for me that I have been afflicted that I might learn thy statutes.  

He shared that he had an afflictions, but that he’d learned from God’s Word!

So, my friend, here is the question and my answer:

How can I share my burden and still give praise to God?

Share the burden or trial, but then on its heels,

tell what God has done for you during this time,

or how He has ministered to you, provided for you,

or what He has taught you through your trial.

That is giving praise to God!

 Follow that example, and you’ll be honest, but also obeying Psalm 150:6!

So…How are you today?  I’d love to hear!

Keep praising,


Christian Life · Speech · worry

Praise More!


Recently while my husband was out running, he received a phone call that he had to take.  Slowing his pace to a walk, he hit the “answer” button, then proceeded to explain to the caller the reason for his hard breathing.  The caller said, “I knew you were running the second you answered; I heard it in your breath!”

As he relayed that story to me, I wondered, “what do people hear when I speak?”

Psalm 150:6 says,

“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!”

When I pick up the phone and talk to my husband, does he hear praise to the Lord coming from my lips?

When I talk to my children, are they hearing praise?

What does the cashier,

the waitress, or

my neighbor hear when I speak?

Is my breath consistently praising the Lord?

No, not always.  Sometimes those I speak to hear criticism, worry, fear or complaint instead.  I was convicted.

The God Who created you and me gives us every breath we breathe.  Why do we not use that breath to praise Him? I’ve come to this conclusion –

I need to praise more and criticize less.
I must bless the Lord more and complain less.
I have to praise more and worry less.

How would you fill in this blank?

I need to praise more and _______________ less.

Now, turn that phrase into a prayer.

“Lord, thank you for every breath you give me.  Help me to praise you more and _______ less!”

What could you praise the Lord for today?

With praise to my God,


My Choice

I passed a billboard on the interstate recently that said, Now you have a choice.”  I’m truly not sure what it was referring to, because I saw no other ads with it (pro-abortion rights, etc).  However, the first thing that came to my mind about my choice was something that had just happened – and it was regarding the tongue. 

James 3:5-8 says, “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Verse 10 – Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. In other words, brothers, you have a choice about what you say!

Do you find it as easy as I do to say whatever comes into your mind?  Do you find it as hard as I do to refrain from it?  Oh!  This little tongue can get me into so much trouble.  I’ve blogged often about this because it’s something I’m frequently dealing with!  It’s harder to control with those I love the most.  But, I’ve been reminded again, that I have a choice!  No one makes me say what I say.  I do it all by myself!  I think it.  I say it.  I regret it.

My choice then today is, will my words be…

  • Thoughtful or thoughtless? 
  • Spirit-filled or Fleshly?
  • Suppressed or Slung? 
  • Priceless or Worthless? 

I have a choice today – I can speak, or I can refrain from speaking.  I can say what I’m thinking, or I can pray first.  Therefore I’m praying Psalm 141:3 today – Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.  The Lord will direct me to the right choice!

With love,


Don’t Be a Doeg

When I taught elementary school before my girls were born, I used to tell the parents on our first meeting, “If you don’t believe everything your child says about me, I won’t believe everything they tell me about you!” Children can say some pretty startling things – but it’s seen through their young perspective, and hence, is not always accurate. We can see how a child can misunderstand and then tell things they really shouldn’t, but what happens when an adult misinterprets, then goes running to find someone they can tell? They become like Doeg.

Doeg is found in I Samuel 21-22. In this chapter we read about David running away from Saul. He’s fearful for his life, and rightly so! Saul has just tried to nail him to the wall with his spear! David goes to Nob and seeks help from the priest, Ahimelech. The priest gives David bread and also Goliath’s sword (I’d say David earned it, wouldn’t you?). In verse 7 we read, “Now a certain man of the servants of Saul was there that day, detained before the LORD; and his name was Doeg, an Edomite, the chiefest of the herdmen that belonged to Saul.” I can only imagine David’s thoughts when he saw that Doeg had seen him…”Oh, no! There’s that busybody Doeg! He’s sure to go running to Saul and tell him of my whereabouts!”

That is precisely what Doeg did. When Saul had his men gathered together to scold them for not helping him find David, Doeg gets his chance to speak up. Here’s what we read in chapter 22 – Saul said, “…is none of you that is sorry for me, or sheweth unto me that my son hath stirred up my servant against me, to lie in wait, as at this day? Then answered Doeg the Edomite, which was set over the servants of Saul, and said, I saw the son of Jesse coming to Nob to Ahimelech the son of Ahitub. And he enquired of the LORD for him, and gave him victuals, and gave him the sword of Goliath the Philistine. Doeg is of he personality that I imagine he couldn’t wait to share this juicy little bit of information! This news infuriates Saul and he orders all the priests to be killed. None of the footmen would do it, so Doeg jumps in to carry out Saul’s cruel wishes.

Doeg left a bad taste in many people’s mouths with his actions. One person that records what Doeg was like is David. In Psalm 52 he gives a detailed description of him. It’s also a list of what we need to steer clear of if we’re to have a life that honors the Lord. Here’s what a person is like if they’re like Doeg:

  1. They dwell on mischief rather than God’s goodness. Ps 52:1,2 Why boastest thou thyself in mischief, O mighty man? the goodness of God endureth continually. The tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully.

  2. They love evil news more than good news. V. 3a Thou lovest evil more than good

  3. They tell lies instead of the truth. V 3b (Thou lovest) lying rather than to speak righteousness.

  4. They enjoy devouring words rather than those that build up V. 4 Thou lovest all devouring words…

It can be real easy to feel smug and say that we’d never do what Doeg did! Murder God’s servants? No way! But if we

  • talk more about people in a negative light than in a positive one, we’re being a Doeg!
  • enjoy hearing some juicy information about someone, if our ears lean in to hear some evil report, we’re being a Doeg!
  • pass on things that we shouldn’t be sharing (even if it’s true, is it necessary to tell?), we’re being a Doeg!

These are thoughts that the Lord brought to my mind recently as I studied this passage. Yes, they are convicting thoughts. If we’re honest, we’d all admit to being a Doeg on occasion (and once is too often!). It’s a sin. It displeases the One who created our mouths. My prayer is that instead of being like a child who blurts out whatever I’ve heard or have seen, the Lord will “Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3 I don’t want to be a Doeg! How about you?

Grateful for forgiveness,