Family life · Marriage

Monday Marriage Mattters – December Recap

As the year comes to a close, I look back on these posts of Monday Marriage Matters and know that we have truly worked on our marriage this past year.  These posts are not simply done for the viewing of the public; they are our lives, our marriage that really, truly matters.  We want to daily be pouring into this God-given gift, so that it is growing, but also so that it is a picture of the Gospel.

Here’s what the last month of our Marriage Matters looked like:


Christmas mugs. Sweet messages. Full cups and hearts.


I love making something in my kitchen that I know my husband is going to love. Surprising him when he comes home is a joy that never gets old.


Happiness is not not found in things, but in relationships. To be married is one of God’s greatest blessings. Why Do people get married and then stop having fun? We should never get over the joy of time together. Oh, and when there’s mistletoe, we use it! “Ban the peck.”


The work of Christmas is a lot for the wife, but this guy helps me so much when I work in the kitchen. He thanked me for all I did to make Christmas special, but I was quick to remind him that I couldn’t have done it without his help, and It’s So true. We work as a team, each contributing to our home and marriage. It’s not 50/50, it’s 100/100.

What does your marriage look like as you end out 2016?  Is it stronger, deeper and better because you have been intentional?

I pray that these posts have encouraged your marriage this past year.  Take a look back and see other Marriage Matters posts here.

Do something today to show your marriage matters!

Denise Signature 150 px

Christian Life · Marriage · Refreshment in marriage

Marriage Matters Recap

October Marriage matters.jpg

It’s time for a recap of #MondayMarriageMatters.  I’ve encouraged women to post on Instagram a picture each Monday of something that shows them putting thought and effort into their marriage, and that Marriage really does Matter!  I love seeing what each lady posts!  There are now about 175 posts!  Go to Instagram and search #Mondaymarriagematters and you’ll be able to see all the fun photos and explanations.

This month of October had some fun dates and some special times to share as a couple.  Here’s how I sought, with God’s help, to build my marriage.

If I understand that my marriage matters, and my marriage matters to God, I will daily be seeking out how I can obey my role as a wife.  I read this verse today and was reminded that I am doing one of two things:  I’m either building up my home, or I am tearing it down.  These are my “Pink verses” that I remind myself of over and over.
Being married to a pastor often means I wait and wait and wait.  I wait after services for him to meet with an individual who is hurting.  I wait during his ministry meetings.  And I wait while he listens to complaints and criticisms, and I pray. Then we ride home and I listen, encourage, and remind him (and myself) of Truth.  He has told me many times that he can take anything as long as he knows I’m behind him.  Sometimes I’m sure that’s the best gift I can give him.  
Marriage usually attracts opposites.  That is certainly true of us.  Instead of trying to make him be like me, I’ve learned to let him be the man (or pirate!) God made him to be and be thankful for our differences.  He’s outgoing, a strong leader, the entertainer of the crowd, and I’m none of those.  God put us together for a reason.  He is my completer and I’m so thankful!
He baked cookies.  I pulled out an OLD game.  Family Game Night followed.  It’s nights like these that allow us to laugh, act like we did when we were young, and forget the pressures of the day.  We NEED it.  Our marriage needs it.  We love it!

If you’re on Instagram, you can follow me at denisec_refreshher so you won’t miss any Monday marriage posts.

What have you done recently to show that YOUR marriage matters?


Marriage · Uncategorized

#Monday Marriage Matters Recap

I have so enjoyed the #MondayMarriageMatters posts on Instagram.  For me, it has helped to foster the intentional thought, “What have I done this week to show that my marriage matters?”  Sometimes it gives me motivation to get after doing something – not for the sake of a post, but so that I can add the special touch that every marriage needs.  After 35 years of marriage, I have learned that it’s all the little, everyday things that make a huge difference!

Here’s my recap of my week of #Mondaymarriagematters for the month of May:


While on vacation at the beach this week, my husband took the love note to a whole new level – he slipped out of our oceanfront room we were staying in, went down to the beach and wrote in HUGE letters, “I love Denise ❤” Then he came back up to the room with a sheepish expression. I looked out and saw it and I melted at his romantic expression. He didn’t have to do that, I mean we’re alone on vacation and we had said those words many times, but when marriage matters, you look for opportunities to take the simple and make it outrageous! I’ll never forget his gesture and expression of love! #mondaymarriagematters


We got home from our lovely vacation and hit the ground running. We haven’t stopped or really had time to catch up with one another…until today! Monday is “our day.” We don’t feel guilty for spending this day together, whether anything else gets accomplished or not. I am always grateful that no matter how busy the rest of the week is, I can look forward to the one day we’ve set aside for us!


imageMarriage is not about getting my way, but knowing how to serve my husband in a way that honors him. I was taught that the proper way to set the table was to put the drink on the right and the salad on the left, but my husband is strongly right-hand dominant and wants his salad on the right. For years I used to put it on the left and watch him move it every. Single. Time. Finally the Lord brought to my attention that the best thing to do was set it the way he wanted it and let it go! Marriage matters more than me getting my way.#mondaymarriagematters#whatdifferencedoesitmake#loveseeksnotherown

One of the best things I can do for my marriage is to bring it before God’s Throne. This year I have really zeroed in on praying verses for my husband. This book is full of nothing but Scriptures that I can pray for Dale. I’m watching God answer those requests; what a blessing! My marriage matters to God!


I’m so thankful for a husband who will read scripture and pray with me. I never want to take it for granted. Saying thank you is a way to acknowledge it and let him know how much I appreciate it. #mondaymarriagematters

See what LITTLE gestures they all are?  But they make a huge impact in daily marriage.  I trust you’re pouring into your marriage each day – not just on the “biggie days” (anniversaries, birthdays, and Valentine’s Day).  The seeds you plant now will grow tall in the long run!

What was the last little gesture you did to show that your marriage matters?  

Check out Whitney’s recap that she posted yesterday!

Keep your marriage refreshed!

8e63c63ac0bc189bf1c68b03c74dbb5f (1)


Monday Marriage Matters Recap

As my husband and I approach our 35th anniversary, I’m realizing more and more how rare it is to have the word longevity attached to the word married.  The salon where I get a pedicure usually has young women working as the staff.  As I strike up conversation with them as they work, it seems that nearly every one of them has told me they came from a divorced home.  I realize that there are lots of reasons, and lots of stories, but it doesn’t change the fact that divorce is not God’s plan or idea for marriage.

Still, marriage is hard.  Marriage can have all kinds of difficult things to deal with, but marriage matters to God, and it must matter to those who believe and live out the Bible.  Someone has to make sure that communication happens.  It takes effort and intentional thought and planning to keep the marriage thriving!

It is for those reasons that I began the #Mondaymarriagematters photos on my Instagram.  I want to encourage women to post pictures of what they are doing to make the most of their marriage.  At the end of each month I do a recap of my pictures, and today it’s time for that review!

Here’s my month of pictures for Monday Marriage Matters:


  • One Sunday evening after church, we took our meal outside to the back porch where I had turned on the white lights.  We sat on the swing and ate our simple lunch.  Afterwards we watched an episode of Andy Griffith together while cuddling on the swing.  It was romantic, simple and gave us time to unwind after a busy day of ministry.
  • We’re loving our new patio area and fire pit.  We had a fire for two one night!
  • Yesterday provided the perfect weather for a bike ride on a bike path near us.  We only rode about 5-6 miles, but we enjoyed sitting on a bench for a while.  It gave us uninterrupted time to talk and catch up after a busy weekend.  We also read Scripture together (on my husband’s phone) and then we had a time of prayer.  Sigh…what a sweet leader he is!
  • Dollywood is open for the season and we took one of our Monday’s off and spent a few hours walking through the park.  Season passes there give us a great place to get away together for the day to a place we both love.  We don’t really ride many rides when it’s just the two of us, but when you have eachother, it’s fun, no matter!

If you’re not joining us for the picture posts, I hope you’ll jump on board!  It really helps to have a little nudge to keep the romance flames burning!  Why?  Because Marriage matters!

You can follow me on Instagram at DeniseC_RefreshHer .





Monday Marriage Matters – Getting Rid of the Old

I went through my refrigerator this weekend and did some tossing of some old things.  A couple slices of bread that weren’t exactly fresh, and some leftovers that were now a bit too leftover (eew! It happens).  No one wants to eat old food!

But what do we do with the “old things” in marriage?  By old things I mean the things we’re used to.  We’re used to him leaving for work; we’re used to him coming in each night.  We’re used to fixing supper for him, cleaning up after him, kissing him goodnight, seeing his face across from the table, sitting beside him in church…and so on.  It can be taken for granted.  It can get old if we’re not careful. Hence the encouragement for these Monday Marriage Matters posts.  Marriage really does matter; it’s the second most important relationship – the first being our relationship with the Lord.  So, why do we overlook it?  Why do we just endure?

Here’s a collage of my attempts to demonstrate my desire to keep our marriage fresh.  None of these will wow.  None will be the most unique demonstration of love in marriage, but you know what?  Each one does contribute to my marriage, in their small way, and that’s what this whole series is about.  It’s the little things, the little moments, the little thoughtful gestures that keep that something special  in a marriage.  It keeps it from getting old – moldy, if you will.


The top left is a screen shot of our texts.  My husband was meeting a friend for lunch and dropped me off on his way.  He stopped and bought me lunch because he didn’t want me to wait to eat until after he was finished.  As I sat there eating my grilled Chick-fil-A, I thought about how thoughtful that was of him, so I sent him a text to say “thank you for lunch!”  It would be easy to overlook those kinds of gestures, but staying in the habit of saying , “thank you” and “You’re welcome!”  keeps things fresh!

The next picture on top is a weekly “chore” I do for my husband.  I make him homemade granola.  He LOVES it, so I try to always have it on hand for his breakfast.  When I slide the pan into the oven I usually always call to him in his office, “I love you!”  His response is, “You’re making granola!”  Food can talk, can’t it?!

Sometimes a little reminder to leave a note is helpful – like this chalkboard.  We use this one frequently to say how much the other is loved!  “More than chocolate” says a lot! =)

The second picture collage shows planned date nights.  One was a blue grass concert that we attended together.  My husband saw that this super-good group was going to be in our area the next week and he made the plans and bought the tickets for us to attend.  I love it when he plans ahead and we can look forward to that time together!  Afterwards we stopped for a late night snack and had the best time just having a date night! The other date was dinner at home – our favorite place!

Lastly, is my stack of note cards specifically for your husband.  They have a phrase on each card with room to add a note.  I have put them in his Bible, at his desk or on his pillow when I’m going away.  He was gone for a couple nights this month to shepherd a sweet family in our church going through a difficult surgery.  I stuck a couple notes in his luggage to remind him I’d miss him while he was away. (I found these at Hobby Lobby)

It’s just the day to day maintenance that my refrigerator needs, but more than that, my marriage needs it so nothing strange ends up on our plates!  I’d rather serve fresh love than dry, moldy “I’m used to you” attitudes, how about you?!

What did you do yesterday to demonstrate to your mate that your marriage matters?

Refresh your marriage,