refreshment at home · Wife's Role

How I Intentionally “Built” My Home This Week

In this recent post, I suggested…

Every day do one thing to build your home. 

Being inspired by Ina Garten’s quote that said, A good home should gather you up in his arms like a warm cashmere blanket, soothe your hurt feelings, and prepare you to go back out into that big bad world tomorrow all ready to fight the dragons” I wondered how I had accomplished this in my home this week.

As I thought back on it, here’s what I came up with –

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home · Home making · Wife's Role

A Heart That Makes a House a Home

“Something Smells really good! My husband, Jeffrey exclaims every Friday night when he walks in the door. Most weeks, he has been around the world and back and when he walks in that door, I want him to feel that he’s really home. What he doesn’t realize is that what feels very casual, is, in fact, quite deliberate:: The music is playing, all the lights are on, there are flowers everywhere, and chicken and onions are roasting in the oven. 

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Christian love · Family life · home · Husband · Love · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Help Your Husband Live Joyfully With You!

I’m posting later in the day, but we just returned from an evening away. Read on and you’ll see what we did and what a special time it was!

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It was early evening and we had just finished a simple supper of BLT’s, a summer favorite. My husband pulled his Bible out of his book bag and told me he had something he wanted to read to me that he had read earlier that morning. We were spending an afternoon and night away at a lake cottage, just to have some quiet time to study, pray and be together on his day off. A boat or two rumbled past on the not-so-far-away lake as he opened to Ecclesiastes 9 and read about 6 verses, concluding with this verse:

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity, but that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

When he finished reading, he closed his Bible, nodded and smiled at me. As I looked at him I thought about how well he does that. He lives joyfully with me every day!

  • I saw it earlier when we were preparing to travel to the lake. He was coming to pick me up from my dentist appointment and sent a text to tell me he would be late.
  • When we stopped to pick up a salad for lunch, he brought the beverages to the car – a water for himself and diet Lemonade for me (my favorite).
  • As we made our way to the lake, he chatted, telling me the reason he was late – the opportunity to share Christ with a man. I love it when he shares his day, his burdens and his life.
  • He reached over and took my hand and said, “I sure love you!”
  • Later in the afternoon as we sat overlooking the lake, he said how thankful he was we could spend an afternoon together. Tears welled up in his eyes as he said, “Sometimes I just miss you so much.”
  • Even after our simple BLT supper, no fuss, no special recipe, he said, “That was so good; thank you, Sweetheart.”

Live joyfully with your wife – that’s what he does every single day. I am so blessed.

Why am I sharing this with you today? To boast? No. Even as I write out this list of only some of what he did in just ONE day, it is a stern reminder that I could make it so much easier for him to obey that Scripture if I was also living joyfully every day. There are days I just feel cantankerous! I’m often Fussy, griping, and complaining instead of joy-filled.

If I would laugh at his spontaneity, smile at disruptions, appreciate kindnesses, and live as though there was no tomorrow, I’ll bet it would help him to live even more joyfully with his wife. And maybe I couldn’t even believe there could be so much joy, and wouldn’t that be awesome?!

  • What do you need to change to help your husband live joyfully with you?
    Take the drive he suggests, even though you know you’ll be motion-sick on those curves.
    If he initiates a kiss in public don’t push him away.
    Leave the children with a sitter for an hour or two so you can sneak away for a date.
    Hold hands, rub his back, smile at him, send him a loving text message, ask him questions about his day, and really listen when he talks to you,
    Be understanding of his need for physical love.
    Tell him thank you for the ways he provides for your family.
    Pray with him before he leaves home.
    Be waiting at the door for him when he returns home in the evening.
    Get up and spend time with him before he leaves for work, if possible.
    Surprise him with a night away for just the two of you.
    Decide with God’s help not to fall apart when the next disaster strikes.

Let’s help our husbands obey the admonition to live joyfully with his wife by being joyful, too! Now, put a smile on your face and in your heart, and go share that joy with HIM!

Refresh your husband,

Denise Signature 150 px

Family life · home · Husband

The Treasure of a Godly Homelife


We had guests in our home recently and before they left, the wife said something like, “I love your living room. It’s so cozy and inviting. This is what I want my home to be.” My husband looked at her and said, “This is our refuge from the world. God wants to be your refuge so you can have the same kind of home.”

You see, it’s not just the things in a house that makes it inviting – it’s the love, the atmosphere, the tone that you feel when you step in.

Yesterday morning I read – There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up. (Proverbs 21:20) The truth of that passage is that we are either digging up the treasure God wants our homes to have, or we’re spending it up.

How do we dig up the treasure?

  • We get up every day and give ourselves, our family, and our home to the Lord.
  • We get into the Word so we can get a right perspective on our ministry in our home.
  • We seek to respond biblically to the trials that will surely come into our lives.
  • We are faithful workers in our home, planning ahead for our family’s needs with good meals, fresh laundry and a clean house.
  • We seek to meet our husband’s needs and care for them more than for our own.
  • We love and submit to our husband as the head of the home, never seeking to override his authority.
  • We faithfully and lovingly instruct our children in God’s ways, always leading them to Christ.

How do we spend up the treasure?

  • We go in our own strength.
  • We think we can miss days in God’s Word and be fine.
  • We blow up when trials come because we’re not filled with Truth.
  • We spend more time out of the home than in it so that meals are on the run, laundry is piled up and the house is a chaotic mess.
  • We scream out for “our time” and resent being a housewife.
  • We only submit when we agree 100% with our husband’s decisions
  • We let the children do their own thing and overlook their need for correction and time with us.

The “treasure” that is gotten when we follow God’s directives for our homes is a sweet, loving atmosphere that makes it a joy for family and friends to come home. Is it always perfect? Hardly. Is it most often a respite from the world? Oh yes.

Are you digging for the treasure at home, or are you spending it uptoday? You can make the necessary changes even now, with the Lord’s help. A home where God’s love is felt and demonstrated is truly “a treasure to be desired.”

With love,