Family Friday – Keep Your Marriage Safe

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Recently in the late hours of the night, while a subdivision of residents was fast asleep, a thief entered the quiet of the street and began making his way up driveways looking for unlocked cars. All he was interested in was cash, and any he found was taken.

What the thief didn’t know was that a security camera was right on him, taking footage of his sinful deeds.  Aside from seeing him enter unlocked cars, one thing noted on the security tape was that when he approached one vehicle that was locked, he simply moved away from it. There was no attempt at breaking in.  The security of the car door locks, kept him from taking what was not his.

As I thought about the crime, the Lord brought a truth to my mind about my marriage.  No one can steal away from our relationship unless we leave areas unlocked.  So then, we must check to be sure that we’re keeping our marriage safe.  Here are some security locks that need to be checked regularly:

  • Keep your marriage vows.
    • Love
      • Love is a choice, not a feeling. If you’re not “feeling it,” pray and ask God to help you love your husband – He will. Keep praying about it and don’t quit!
      • Love him thoroughly, the way you want to be loved. Accept him and don’t have any expectations of what he should be or should do.  Would you and I want to be held to our husband’s list of expectations?  We must accept him in the same way.
      • Love him physically. Don’t withhold your physical love as punishment.  Doing so could cause ramifications that could cause the thief to come in and steal what is supposed to be only yours.
    • Honor
      • This is the same as respect. A husband doesn’t earn it as the world says he must – you give it because God commands you to.  Eph 5:33 Honor him as unto the Lord, or as you would the Lord!  Your words, your reactions, your decisions – your whole married life is to show the man you married honor – the highest esteem.
    • Obey
      • He has ultimate leadership for your home. Whether you like his decision or disagree, God says the husband is the head, and unless what he is asking is sinful, then you must come under his authority. Period.
    • ‘Til death do you part
      • Never should we use the word, “Divorce.” Nor should we threaten to leave.  Marriage is for a lifetime.  Considering divorce is leaving an open door for the right situation to enter so we have an out.  (I realize divorce for fornication is allowed, but often lesser things cause those words to be spoken.)

So, how secure is your marriage?  Are you leaving an unlocked door in any of the areas above?  There are many other safeties we could discuss, but I believe if we’re  honoring our marriage vows, most of the other scenarios will be safe from danger.

Marriage is a gift from God that is a beautiful picture of our relationship with Christ.  He keeps us secure for eternity.  I’m pretty sure I know a subdivision of people who will now be locking their car doors at night.  Don’t you wait until the thief comes to steal from your marriage before you do what is wise!  Keep it secure all the days of our life, “so long as you both shall live.”

Happy Easter!  Rejoice; He is risen, and that makes a difference in every area of life – even your marriage!

Denise Signature 150 px

Diligence At Home Brings Blessing

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A woman who is a homemaker can feel overwhelmed with the length of her tasks which might include:

  • Laundry
  • Errands
  • Meal prep
  • Laundry
  • Dishes to wash
  • Rooms to clean
  • Laundry
  • Groceries to buy
  • Calls to make
  • Preparations for things upcoming
  • Laundry

Those tasks are on repeat.  They come each day and have to be repeated again and again.  It’s easy to feel unimportant and overlooked.  A woman can also feel overwhelmed with all that is on her shoulders.

So what’s a woman to do?  A guiding biblical principle is obey right now what you know you to do.  Being obedient will bring blessing from the Lord (Prov 8:34, 35).  Stopping to read God’s Word might seem to others to be counter-intuitive, but the Lord will use His Word to direct you, give you guidance and peace.

Just this week on a very busy day, I had the churning feeling of wondering how it would all get done.  God directed me to Proverbs 22:29

 Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean (obscure) men.

It was a reminder to me of a man like Joseph, in the book of Genesis, who worked so diligently that he was promoted more than once!  He was noticed and appreciated.  He was a real testimony to unbelievers, simply by his work ethic!  Though we have no kings to stand before, it’s a reminder that our work is a testimony to our God.  Who is the One who does the promoting, the noticing?  It is our Heavenly Father.

If our business takes us to a job, that’s fine and good and we must give it our best.  But it’s no less a calling to have your “business” at home as a wife and/or mom.  That is a high and lofty calling.  Do your business to your best ability!  Don’t whittle away time doing useless, time-wasting things.  Sometimes when a person feels overwhelmed, they just give up before they ever get started.  Use your day carefully, going from one task to the next.

The blessing of being faithful may come from those you serve in your home, and it might not, but it will come ultimately from the One who gave you that place in which to serve.  He sees you, even as He saw Joseph down in the prison cell.  He notices.  He promotes.  Today you may just be the Queen of the Laundry, but be diligent in your business as you do it to the King of Kings.  Your “Well Done!” from Him will make it worth it all!

Lovingly,

Denise Signature 150 px

Family Friday- Your Husband is Worth It!

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When I read in Scripture about some of the men having multiple wives, my heart cringes.  I can’t even imagine the rivalry between “tender-eyed” Leah and lovely Rachel, sisters who both married Jacob. There’s enough right there for all kinds of trouble, right?!

But let’s set all that aside and look at one thing – Jacob noticed that Rachel was beautiful.  He had eyes to see that she was lovely.  Men are visual.  Period.  That is how God made them.  When your husband chose you, he liked – no, he loved what he saw!  What did he see?  Think back to your introduction, or the time when his heart began to be drawn to you.  How did you look to him?

I remember when my husband and I began to date seriously, he would come visit his parents for the weekend, which also happened to be the city where I lived and worked.  Before he left very early on Sunday morning to head back to school, I would get up and get ready for church- shower, hair fixed, and dressed for the service.  I wanted to look my best so he’d remember me that way in the weeks we were apart!  Now obviously, since we’ve been married, he’s seen me LOTS of mornings before makeup and hair and he loves me.  But I would be foolish to remain the plain, unkempt look for the rest of the day!  After I add a bit of makeup and curl my very straight hair, it might not improve much, but it’s better than when I started, and my husband notices!  Why do I do it?  Because my husband is worth it!

I can get a bit weary of the girls on Instagram or blog world who say,

“Here’s my Momiform.  This is just the way it is, folks!”

The caption is under a picture of her with leggings and a baggy t-shirt, hair pulled back in a pony tail and no makeup.  Her message is that life is just too busy, too demanding to do anything else but pull this on and live in it until it’s time for bed.

No one has to be outfitted in finery, or look like a model, but putting on a pair of comfy jeans or pants, a top with some form, a pair of earrings, and five minutes at hair and at least some mascara and lip gloss, would not only make her husband smile, like Jacob looking at Rachel, but would probably also make her feel more energetic and ready for a day of demands before her!  Seriously, getting ready for the day – even if you only have 30 minutes, will make you feel more like some body and doing something!  Why do we do it?  Because our husband is worth it!  

Show your husband that he is worth it by gussying up a bit each day before he comes home.  Wear something he loves to see you wear.  Put on a necklace or scarf with those jeans.  Add a little blush, mascara and lip gloss. Stop making excuses and just do it.  Our husband sees all kinds of women every day that did take the time to look their best…we should too.  Our marriage is worth it!

Is this a difficult assignment?  I Corinthians 13 reminds us not to “seek our own.”  If you were going to put his needs and desires before yours, how would that change your attitude even about your appearance?

Refresh your marriage,

Denise Signature 150 px

Taming the Laundry Pile

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Happy Friday, friends!  Maybe you love Friday, until you look in your laundry baskets and find them all overflowing with dirty clothes, towels and kitchen linens from the previous week.  Now this weekend you’ll spend most of Saturday getting caught up, knowing that in three days, it’s going to be flowing out into the hallway again!

Please forgive me if I’ve shared this already (I searched my blog and couldn’t find it, so I feel safe! I’m losing it!).  One little thing I’ve begun doing in the last six months EVEN WITH JUST THE TWO OF US IN OUR HOUSE is doing one load of laundry every day.  I alternate between dark clothes and whites.  It might not always even be a big load, but if there’s enough to do even a small load, it’s going to be washed. The blessings of doing one load every day are:

  • It only takes a short amount of time to gather that color of laundry.
  • It’s just a little bit of clothes to deal with once it comes out of the dryer.
  • I don’t have a whole day where I’m dealing with laundry all day long!
  • The clothes get back into the closet/drawer quickly, so they’re ready when needed.
  • It’s become a part of my morning routine as soon as I get up.  I throw them in when I feed my kitty (her dishes are in the laundry room).  By the time I’m finished with my Quiet Time, the clothes are ready for the dryer.  By the time I’m showered and dressed, the clothes are ready to be folded.
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Add the word, “Daily” to this sign and you’ll reduce your laundry stress!

I might add that I don’t do laundry on Sunday, but doing it six days a week has been a real help and refreshment!  I hope it will help you, too!

What will you do to refresh your heart this weekend?  I trust you’ll go to a Bible preaching church!

Stay refreshed,

A Loving and Pleasant Wife

Here’s a “re-post” from 2009, a Little refresher for our marriages:wpid-wp-1437508752553

I love reading through the Proverbs each month. The Lord so wisely scattered so many topics in each chapter. As I read through in the morning there are so many different warnings or exhortations given that I always need something that I’ve just read.

This morning as I read chapter 5 it was easy to feel “off the hook” when most of the chapter is a warning to a man about the strange woman. However, when I got to verses 18 and 19 the Lord brought a sharp reminder to my own heart. It says,

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe…”

The husband is to enjoy the wife of his youth. We wives can make that a hard task some days because we’re not being what the verse 19 reminds us – loving and pleasant. Every day should find us enjoying being married, not enduring it! It’s ironic, isn’t it, that when a couple is engaged they count down the days until their wedding. Some even know the hours and minutes! They can’t wait! Then not long after – a couple years, perhaps – they’re looking at each other with daggers instead of delight. What happened?

I’m not going to speak for the husband, but for us wives I know what goes on in my own heart. Instead of being loving and pleasant I’m lukewarm and parsimonious (a neat word that means stingy) in the love I give him. It’s easy for us to enjoy our friends and other family members – parents and siblings, but we’re easily irritated with our husbands for some little something.

This passage is directing its encouragement to husbands, but we wives need to do the same thing toward them that they’re asked to do towards us. What is that?

  • Rejoice in him – Thank God in prayer today for the husband that He brought into your life and that you chose! Think about all the things that brought you together – the reasons you fell in love with him and rejoice!
  • Rejoice in being married.
  • Pray for your husband every day.
  • Choose to be joyful today in the way you speak to your husband and the way you respond to him.
  • Be fond of your husband and love him dearly. Think of ways you could display that today.
  • Laugh with him.
  • Spend time close to him, just loving him the way you did early in your marriage.

Other people can be my husband’s friend, but I am the only one that can be his wife…I want to do it well. I’m sure you feel the same towards your husband; we just get sidetracked sometimes. Let’s work today on being loving and pleasant so our husbands will have good reason to rejoice with the wife of his youth!

Refresh your marriage!

Lovingly,