July 5, 2017July 4, 2017 RefreshHerLeave a comment

The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge:
but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness.

Proverbs 15:14

What parent is there that would want their child to remain an infant all their life? As cute as our babies are, we rejoice at each step of growth as they mature. In the same way, as we continue on this journey of walking with the Lord, we have must first have a relationship with God by receiving Christ as our personal Savior. After that, the natural outflow from our spiritual life should be growth.

We all experience dry spells, but for the most part, we should be making progress spiritually. It is aided by purposeful focus. We will purposefully seek knowledge if it is our desire to grow in the Lord more each day.

In order to go beyond just floating along in our Christian life, we need to dig deeper. The means that one woman, Elizabeth George used was:

She never bought a skirt or pair of pants without pockets in it. At the beginning of the week she would write a new memory verse on a 3×5 card and would take it out all day long and read it and work on hiding that verse in her heart. What verse are you currently working on memorizing?
She had “Five Fat Files.” She purchased five file folders in order to tuck away information on Biblical subject matters. She was to pick five areas in which she wanted to grow in expertise so that she was filling herself up with knowledge in these areas.

In order for us to follow this advice we need to ask ourselves (and pray about) what we’d like to be known for. Do you want to be known as a woman of prayer? Mentoring? Soul winning? After you’ve chosen your five Biblical topics, seek knowledge in these areas. You’ll then know what subjects to be studying. We can’t read everything, but when we have chosen five areas, we have a better idea of what kind of books we should be looking for. We’ll know which workshops to attend when we go to a ladies’ retreat. We’ll clip articles from magazines on those subjects, or print off information we read on the Internet. We can talk with people who are excelling in those areas and ask them questions.

It really helps to funnel our attention to a much smaller focus, and then to seek knowledge especially in those five areas. How will this aid your spiritual growth? You’ll be anxious to get out of bed in the morning to jump up and get in God’s Word to learn more what He says about those five subjects.

Along with filling your five fat files, Elizabeth encourages us to code our Bibles. If you’re seeking knowledge about prayer, mark a P next to each verse you read about praying, a person who prayed, how to pray, Jesus’ prayers, etc. If you make a study of the Women of the Bible, role of women, older women, place a W beside each passage you find about them. Each day as you read your Bible, read it with a pen in hand; that is an act of faith, revealing that you’re certain the Lord is going to show you a nugget that you need to mark.

This kind of study is the main stream to ministry. As you fill yourself up in these five areas, you’ll be like a teapot jumping on the stove. You’ll be so filled with knowledge from God’s Word that you’ll be pouring out on other people. Like the woman that Elizabeth learned from, women will seek you out to get wisdom from the areas in which you have grown.

So, what kind of ministry will you have from the outflow of your spiritual growth? By His grace, let’s each choose those five areas and start growing!

Because of His grace,

Individual Berry Cobblers & What We Really Eat

July 3, 2017July 2, 2017 RefreshHer14 Comments

Happy Monday! First let me start with sharing a new recipe that I made as a special treat for my cobbler-loving husband! If you need a treat for Fourth of July these would be perfect. You can make one, or you can multiply the recipe to make as many as you need. These are Berry Cobblers, served in individual ramekins, making them a perfect size and also easy to serve!

I found the recipe here on this site. They were so easy to pull together, and with no sugar added to the fruit, I think they’re a really healthy little dessert, well, maybe the ice cream added some fat and calories, but you can’t eat cobbler without ice cream!

Individual Berry Cobblers

Ingredients

NOTE: These directions are per each serving so multiply it by how many servings you plan to make.
½ cup berries or fruit of choice
2 tbsp oatmeal
1 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tbsp brown sugar, slightly packed
1½ tbsp softened butter
pinch of salt
pinch of baking soda
a couple drops of vanilla

Instructions –
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Place berries/fruit In a ramekin or other small baking dish
In a separate bowl, Mix all other ingredients….oatmeal, flour, sugar, butter, salt, baking soda, and vanilla. Use your hand or a fork to make sure all ingredients are incorporated well.
Sprinkle oatmeal mixture evenly over berries/fruit.
Place ramekin on a baking dish (just in case it boils over a little bit) and bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until topping is beginning to brown.

Do you ever look at people’s You Tube videos of their food and wonder if they really eat? I mean, sometimes it’s more about the tableware and presentation than the food. To me, the most important part of mealtime is the food! We really enjoy our food over here and I want it to be delicious and pretty – not just pretty!

So, I’m going to close today by giving you a little look at my plates from this past week so you can see what we really ate.
Here’s a real look at our meals:

wp-1498945762059 — Grilled Marinated Steaks, Twice Baked Potatoes, Berry Green Salad

0622171822 — Perfect Pork Tostadas, Spanish Rice, Fresh Fruit

0526171712 — Turkey Burgers with Chipotle Yogurt Sauce, Corn on the cob, Oven Garlic Fries

0626171753 — Chicken Fajitas, Refried Beans, Lime tortilla chips, Cantaloupe

0625171328 — Turkey Breast, Mashed Potatoes, Asparagus and Berry Green Salad

I don’t just take pictures of pretty food – we eat real meals every day at home. Presentation is part of that, but also good food, prepared and cooked at home to nourish body and soul! Also the time at the table, sitting and talking as we eat, sip on glasses of tea, or nibble on sweet treats like this berry cobbler! Meal time is a huge part of family time. Let’s make dinner delicious, nourishing, pretty and memorable!

What have you made this week that your family loved?

From my country kitchen,

children · Family life · Motherhood · Parenting · refreshment at home

Help Other People Love Your Kids

June 30, 2017June 30, 2017 RefreshHer2 Comments

I love little children. They are cute, funny, spontaneous and full of faith. But there are times when that love for youngsters can be tested. A favorite “old story” at our house happened many years ago following the Sunday night church service. A visiting family was going to be staying the night with us. There were two or three little ones, I can’t remember exactly, but the memory began just as we were unlocking the house for entry with our guests. Their little guy, about 4 or 5 said to me as he was pushing the door open and scurrying inside,

Hey Lady, where’s the toys?!

What ensued afterwards was little ones running through the house, overturning toy boxes and chests, emptying their contents and having the most fun a child can have while in a stranger’s home and discovering new treasures.

This was a whole new experience for me, and I’m sure I needed a lesson in graciousness, but all I remember was the sigh of relief when the battle of toys and home was over and we were left with the quiet dust of the invasion the following day.

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE children, and I try to always have things on hand for little ones to play with, but the issue came when the parents seemed too relieved to have their children busy with something other than needing their attention (or so they thought). They were pretty much oblivious to the destruction and havoc that their offspring brought to a complete stranger’s household. I’m sure those children were precious and I know Jesus loves them, but me? I wasn’t feeling it. Oh, I don’t want to sound harsh, but it was like the invasion of enemy troops. Our home was open territory. There were no restrictions, no guidelines from the mom and dad, no parental looks that give a warning without words, saying, “Stop what you’re doing.” No, the children were on their own, and we were put in a place where we had to step in and draw the line in the sand. Ugh.

Every parent gets weary of the day-to-day demands, the need to correct and rein their children in, but taking time to let down your guard is not only dangerous, it’s putting other people in a very uncomfortable situation. It’s making it hard for others to really love your children. You see, it puts them in the place that only you belong, Mom (and Dad, if you’re reading). Someone besides you will be the one to have to say,

“Please don’t step on my feet; that hurts.”

“Could you please play with the trucks outside, instead of on the coffee table?”

“Children can get hurt if they climb up on the ladder in the store; you really better get down, .”

“My bedroom is off limits. Could you please come out and play in the family room with the rest of us?”

Step up, parents and make your child a blessing to be around by guiding them before these scenarios cause someone else to need to speak up.

Often, parents watch their children being the “wild child” and think it’s cute, or that they’re just “doing what children do,” which is true, but Scripture says,

Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. Proverbs 29:17

They act that way because they have an old sin nature, and God gave them parents to give them guidelines and restrictions, to teach them what is acceptable and what is not. So how do you help others love your children?

Talk to your children before you leave home or before guests arrive. Tell them what you expect in simple 1, 2, 3 format. They need to know what you’re expecting of them, what is okay and what is not. For instance,
- When we get to Mrs. Jones’ house, please stay in the same room I am in.
- I have brought a bag of toys for you to play with, so there will be no need for you to touch anything at her house. Play with those unless Mrs. Jones offers you something at her house to enjoy.
- If you need to speak with me while Mrs. Jones and I are talking, come and put your hand on my arm and I will acknowledge you, but wait until then to speak to me or I won’t hear what you’re saying.If you’re going to a store or restaurant, the same principle applies.
- You must stay in your seat while we’re at Cheddar’s.
- You may not climb under the table or change places with someone else.
- I have a snack for you to enjoy while we wait to be seated and served.
Don’t ignore bad behavior at home and then expect your child to be obedient in public times. Deal with the situation.
If you ignore your children fighting or misbehaving and the people you’re with don’t seem like they notice, don’t be fooled; they notice. Deal with it. This is another area that should be addressed beforehand. They should know what the consequences will be.
Practice good manners at home. “May I please?” “Excuse me…” “No thank you.” Table manners, speaking manners, greeting manners – they’re all important and can make the difference between a child who is learning manners and one who is demanding and rude.

I began with a sour example, let me end with a sweet one. I’ve had many opportunities to have children in my home for one on one time, meals with their parents and even overnight. One family had several little children, both girls and boys. They looked to their parents for the go-ahead when desiring to go outside, ask for a toy, or enjoy a snack I provided. They sat at the table for meals, obeyed when their parents stopped them from poor behavior, were thankful for any small gesture that was done, and responded sweetly when either of their parents had to correct them. Were they perfect? Of course not. There were messes to clean up when they left, but they were done so with joy. Oh, and they left something behind – love in our hearts for each one! They made that so very easy, thanks to the loving leadership and training that came from their mommy and daddy.

Moms, I’ve been there with my girls when they were home, even dealing with some very embarrassing situations, but every parent needs to ask the Lord where we need to do a little more training, a little more teaching and preparing so that the presence of our family will bring a smile and a heart full of love because they got to spend time with our children.

Refresh others by allowing your children to be a blessing.

What makes you love being with someone else’s children?

With nothing but love and care,

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Discipleship · home · Marriage · Motherhood · Parenting · refreshment at home · Refreshment in marriage

Keeping Children On the Peripheral

June 29, 2017June 29, 2017 RefreshHer2 Comments

Many homes today put the children at the center of the home. Everything revolves around them, their wants, and their preferences. Of course when you have a baby in your home, you have no choice but to make them the center. But often we fail to allow them as they grow to move farther away from the center to the peripheral. Let me explain.

In the book, The Disciplines of the Home by Anne Ortlund, Anne makes a statement I had never heard, but totally agree with and have taught in principle:

“In the home, children should be on the peripheral.”

She goes on to say that if children are at the center, when they are removed, there is a huge gap in the husband/wife relationship. Do you think it’s remotely possible not to make your children the center of your home?
How does one go about not putting them in that place when they require so much time, attention and discipline?

Anne didn’t detail this point, but here are my thoughts –

The children shouldn’t dictate what is going to happen in your home. “I don’t want to go to Pizza Hut for supper! I want to eat at McDonald’s” It’s not that they can’t make the choice sometimes, but when Mom and Dad have made a decision, it should stick.
Mom and Dad need their own time. Children sleeping with their parents should be a rare occasion. Bedtimes give Mom and Dad an opportunity to talk, spend time together playing a game, or share a snack.
Parents need a date night. Don’t let the children’s cries keep you from leaving them occasionally. Let them know you’re going away to make a better home for them.
As the mom, recognize your husband’s needs and make sure you’re meeting those before doing extra things with/for your children. Are you always jumping up to do something for them, and don’t spend time just being with him?
Be sure you’re spending your recreational times together as a couple and not making it the norm for one parent to be running here with one child, and the other taking another child there. Be a family.

We all know that children have many needs – especially when they’re little, but the tendency is to keep allowing them to be needy and being the very center of the family’s circle where the parents ought to be.

Take a good look at the circle of your family; who’s in the middle and who’s on the peripheral? Does there need to be a change?

With love,

Discipleship · Encouragement · Family life · home · Motherhood · Parenting

Training Children To Sit and Participate in Church

June 28, 2017June 27, 2017 RefreshHer4 Comments

Children can do some really funny things in church. When I was teaching the five year-old Sunday school class I remember asking my students how we get to go to heaven. A little girl raised her hand confidently. Her answer?

Die.

That remembrance still makes me laugh!

Sometimes, though, the things children do in church aren’t so funny – especially if you’re the parent. I’m not sure if there’s anything more stressful or humiliating for a parent than trying to teach their little one to sit quietly anywhere, but especially at church. Your child gets fidgety and talkative just the time there’s a need for quiet, right? We’ve all been there, and I want to encourage you that there is hope!

I’ve blogged about this before, but I just felt the need to rehearse a few ideas about teaching your child to sit through a church service.

Train them. Talk to them before you leave home. Tell them what is going to happen when you get there. Remind them that you’re going so you can worship God and learn more about him!
- Will they be going to Sunday school? Remind them that you’ll be back to pick them up.
- Tell them what kind of behavior you expect from them while they’re in class.
- Will they go to Pastor’s Pals or up front to sing with the children? Prepare them for what you expect.
Fortify them. Feed them a nourishing breakfast to hold them over through the service time.
Equip them. Pack a bag to take to church. Keep it only for church times and fill it with quiet books, crayons, etc. that will help them to listen if they’re old enough. They could draw a picture of something pastor is talking about. If they’re older, they might have a special book to write down important words he hears in the message.
Help them. Don’t bring or give them sugary drinks or snacks – you’ll only be making it more impossible for them to sit still!
Reward them. I read about one mom who played the “Seat game.” After training her two children to sit quietly in church, their mom told them they could sit one row in front of the parents next week since they’d done so well. Each week that they obeyed and sat quietly and obediently, they all moved up one row. Eventually they were seated on rows two and three! You obviously couldn’t do this with really young children, but it would might be a great incentive for school-aged children.
Discipline them. If your child misbehaves, don’t wait for it to get better and stay in the service where they’re causing a ruckus! Take them out immediately and deal with it, and deal with it in a way that they won’t want it repeated. If they get to go out and run around the foyer, they’ll learn that this is more of a reward than a punishment!
Model for them. Encourage worship. By your example of engaging in the singing and worship, teach them to follow your lead! Sing! Pray! Open your Bible! Take notes!
Praise them. Be sure to review the service on the way home. Applaud their good behavior and obedience!
Warn them. Deal with the disobedience and use it as a teaching tool for the next service and warn them about what will take place if this happens again.

Training, training, training. This must be consistent and loving. It also really, really helps if you attend regularly. Sporadic attendance will lose any training! When this is every week, several times a week, they’ll get it!

This takes time, of course, but you probably won’t be getting called to their classroom nearly as often for behavior issues! Instead, the teacher will pull you aside to ask what you’re doing at home that’s made such a difference. Oh, she may also tell you about the hilarious thing your child said to her in class that day!

Stay at it! You will make it!