Help Other People Love Your Kids

June 30, 2017June 30, 2017 RefreshHer2 Comments

I love little children. They are cute, funny, spontaneous and full of faith. But there are times when that love for youngsters can be tested. A favorite “old story” at our house happened many years ago following the Sunday night church service. A visiting family was going to be staying the night with us. There were two or three little ones, I can’t remember exactly, but the memory began just as we were unlocking the house for entry with our guests. Their little guy, about 4 or 5 said to me as he was pushing the door open and scurrying inside,

Hey Lady, where’s the toys?!

What ensued afterwards was little ones running through the house, overturning toy boxes and chests, emptying their contents and having the most fun a child can have while in a stranger’s home and discovering new treasures.

This was a whole new experience for me, and I’m sure I needed a lesson in graciousness, but all I remember was the sigh of relief when the battle of toys and home was over and we were left with the quiet dust of the invasion the following day.

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE children, and I try to always have things on hand for little ones to play with, but the issue came when the parents seemed too relieved to have their children busy with something other than needing their attention (or so they thought). They were pretty much oblivious to the destruction and havoc that their offspring brought to a complete stranger’s household. I’m sure those children were precious and I know Jesus loves them, but me? I wasn’t feeling it. Oh, I don’t want to sound harsh, but it was like the invasion of enemy troops. Our home was open territory. There were no restrictions, no guidelines from the mom and dad, no parental looks that give a warning without words, saying, “Stop what you’re doing.” No, the children were on their own, and we were put in a place where we had to step in and draw the line in the sand. Ugh.

Every parent gets weary of the day-to-day demands, the need to correct and rein their children in, but taking time to let down your guard is not only dangerous, it’s putting other people in a very uncomfortable situation. It’s making it hard for others to really love your children. You see, it puts them in the place that only you belong, Mom (and Dad, if you’re reading). Someone besides you will be the one to have to say,

“Please don’t step on my feet; that hurts.”

“Could you please play with the trucks outside, instead of on the coffee table?”

“Children can get hurt if they climb up on the ladder in the store; you really better get down, .”

“My bedroom is off limits. Could you please come out and play in the family room with the rest of us?”

Step up, parents and make your child a blessing to be around by guiding them before these scenarios cause someone else to need to speak up.

Often, parents watch their children being the “wild child” and think it’s cute, or that they’re just “doing what children do,” which is true, but Scripture says,

Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. Proverbs 29:17

They act that way because they have an old sin nature, and God gave them parents to give them guidelines and restrictions, to teach them what is acceptable and what is not. So how do you help others love your children?

Talk to your children before you leave home or before guests arrive. Tell them what you expect in simple 1, 2, 3 format. They need to know what you’re expecting of them, what is okay and what is not. For instance,
- When we get to Mrs. Jones’ house, please stay in the same room I am in.
- I have brought a bag of toys for you to play with, so there will be no need for you to touch anything at her house. Play with those unless Mrs. Jones offers you something at her house to enjoy.
- If you need to speak with me while Mrs. Jones and I are talking, come and put your hand on my arm and I will acknowledge you, but wait until then to speak to me or I won’t hear what you’re saying.If you’re going to a store or restaurant, the same principle applies.
- You must stay in your seat while we’re at Cheddar’s.
- You may not climb under the table or change places with someone else.
- I have a snack for you to enjoy while we wait to be seated and served.
Don’t ignore bad behavior at home and then expect your child to be obedient in public times. Deal with the situation.
If you ignore your children fighting or misbehaving and the people you’re with don’t seem like they notice, don’t be fooled; they notice. Deal with it. This is another area that should be addressed beforehand. They should know what the consequences will be.
Practice good manners at home. “May I please?” “Excuse me…” “No thank you.” Table manners, speaking manners, greeting manners – they’re all important and can make the difference between a child who is learning manners and one who is demanding and rude.

I began with a sour example, let me end with a sweet one. I’ve had many opportunities to have children in my home for one on one time, meals with their parents and even overnight. One family had several little children, both girls and boys. They looked to their parents for the go-ahead when desiring to go outside, ask for a toy, or enjoy a snack I provided. They sat at the table for meals, obeyed when their parents stopped them from poor behavior, were thankful for any small gesture that was done, and responded sweetly when either of their parents had to correct them. Were they perfect? Of course not. There were messes to clean up when they left, but they were done so with joy. Oh, and they left something behind – love in our hearts for each one! They made that so very easy, thanks to the loving leadership and training that came from their mommy and daddy.

Moms, I’ve been there with my girls when they were home, even dealing with some very embarrassing situations, but every parent needs to ask the Lord where we need to do a little more training, a little more teaching and preparing so that the presence of our family will bring a smile and a heart full of love because they got to spend time with our children.

Refresh others by allowing your children to be a blessing.

What makes you love being with someone else’s children?

With nothing but love and care,

8e63c63ac0bc189bf1c68b03c74dbb5f (1)

children · Encouragement · Family life · Motherhood · Parenting

Firm, Fair, Fun Parenting

June 27, 2017March 3, 2025 RefreshHer2 Comments

This week I want to continue on with the parenting series in the form of some encouragement. I know it can be difficult and wearisome when they’re small. Teen years can seem to last forever with attitudes or questions about your choices. Even the adult years of children can be challenging and stressful. For that reason, we all need to have a biblical view of parenting – from the beginning to the end. Let’s dig in and get some good advice from God’s Word to keep us faithful to this blessed call of building our children for the glory of God!

Obviously parenting is a daily responsibility, and sometimes it can get overwhelming. Other days it’s discouraging because the children don’t seem like they’re “getting it.” We then fall into a disheartened mode which also influences the rest of our family.

May I encourage you on your parenting road today?

I heard a preacher recently say that in parenting you need to:

Be Firm
Be Fair
Be Fun

All three are needed.

Be firm – Say what you mean and then follow through. Don’t promise a spanking for disobedience and then not carry it out when you get home. That kind of neglect takes a huge amount of effort to undo. If you’ve set a curfew for your teen, expect them to honor it.

Be fair – Too often we hit the first one strong and hard. We’re firm. “No!” “No!” “No!” at every request, every attempt the child makes, at every word they say. But stop and ask if you’re also being fair.

What does “being fair” entail? Being fair requires really listening. Proverbs 18:13 says,

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it,

it is a folly and shame unto him.

Did you hear your child out completely before you answered them? Do you understand where they’re coming from? Or did you cut them off? If the teen was late for curfew, let them speak before you discipline. Hear them out. There may be a viable reason for their tardiness. If we’re wise, we will obey the Scripture above and hear them out. Let them know you care about what they have to say and that they are worth listening to.

Be fun – Lastly, we need to take time out for fun. If things are stressful in homeschool, drop the books and do something just for fun! If there’s been tons of stress in relationships, add a dose of something everyone will enjoy.

Go on a picnic for lunch.
Build a fort in the backyard.
Eat ice cream sundaes for supper.
Go shopping for sunglasses with your teen daughter and have lunch at her favorite place.
Learn to laugh – long and hard with your children
Isn’t it easy to scowl? Let your kids see you smiling- and at them!

Firm, fair, fun. If those words don’t describe your parenting, ask the Lord to help you incorporate the needed areas into your home today!

Which of these three areas is hardest for you?

With love,

children · eternal · evangelism · Family life · Heaven · Motherhood · salvation

What’s Wrong With Waiting Until a Child Is Older To Be Saved?

June 21, 2017August 7, 2023 RefreshHer3 Comments

“My five year-old has been asking us so many questions about salvation, and about asking Jesus to forgive their sins, but we’re putting him off right now, because we want to make sure he’s ready.”

I have heard that statement so many times and I can’t tell you how it saddens my heart. I understand that the parent is fearful that the child won’t remember what he has done, and may have doubts later on, but as I mentioned in an earlier post here, I don’t have a problem with that at all. Read the post to understand why.

However, I have three reasons why I believe it IS right to allow a child to pray to be saved when they bring up the need to you.

Jesus said, Suffer the children to come unto me and forbid them not. Can it get any clearer? Don’t hinder them from coming to Christ! Bring them! Encourage them to do so. You will be obeying Christ’s command.
A child’s heart is soft when they ask to be saved, but it will harden as they get older. Why run the risk of them turning away from the Lord? What a tragedy it would be for a parent to put a child off who is asking to be saved, and then the becomes desensitized towards their spiritual need!
The sooner a person comes to Christ the longer they have to serve Him!

Think of two candles, one very long and the other very short. The long candle represents a child and the short, an elderly person. Often when we have an older person saved in a service we have a huge time of rejoicing, which is definitely worthy of joy to see this heart finally yielded to Christ! But when a little child gets saved, it’s often given a little nod. But think of those two candles. That short candle, representing the older person only has a little time left to “burn” for Christ. The child, however, has their whole life to make a difference for the Lord in this world! That reason in itself should make us realize the urgency in bringing little ones to the Savior!

I trust this helps every adult who can influence a child to have a heart for little ones coming while they’re young! Let’s obey Christ’s command, do it while their heart is soft, so they can use their whole life to serve God!

If you know a parent with little ones who might need this encouragement, feel free to share this article on your Facebook account or Twitter.

Lovingly,

children · Family life · leading a child to Christ · Motherhood · salvation

How To Tell If A Child Is Ready To Be Saved

June 20, 2017September 1, 2021 RefreshHer11 Comments

Recently while reading through an old journal, I read some memories of when my girls were little. I read stories like :

the funny account of the day one of my girls told me my dresser had a rash…she was looking at the dust on its surface!
The day she emptied a jar of face cream and spread it all over my bedspread and herself.
Both my girls loved helping in the kitchen when I was baking. What fun we shared as they helped stir in ingredients for cookies, or roll a little pie for their daddy.
Feeling frustrated at discipline – trying to figure out how to reach the child without breaking her spirit.

Parenting is full of fun days, hard days and days when you have NO IDEA what to do. It’s for that reason that I’ve chosen parenting as the next topic in my summer series.

What a joy it is to have children given to us by God to raise for His glory – and what a huge responsibility it is! As Christians, it must be our daily goal to point those little ones to Christ in everyday ways, in intentional ways and in ways that will prepare them to trust Him as their Savior as soon as they can understand. But that’s where we get hung up – we wonder how much do they need to understand to make a real decision to be saved? I’ve written several posts about that and I’m going to repost those this week, because it’s just a burden on my heart. The bottom line is this – Jesus said to suffer the little children to come to him and forbid them not. If a child is saying they want to trust Christ, who are we to say they don’t know enough? Jesus loves them. So, let’s start in, shall we?

Trusting Christ as a little girl has created in me a love for talking to children about God’s gift of salvation. I can relate to them because I remember how it was for me all those years ago when I knew I needed to receive God’s gift of salvation for my own!

Here’s what I remember about myself at that time (I’ve added the verses that teach us these truths, though at the time I didn’t necessarily know where to find them) ~

I was a sinner. Romans 3:23 Oh, I was a “good girl.” You see I wanted to please and obey my parents and others in authority. But even at seven, I remembered lying, disobeying, being sassy or disrespectful. All that was sin, and I knew I was guilty.
I knew I wasn’t going to go to heaven because of my sinful heart. Isaiah 59:2 It had separated me from God.
I knew Jesus loved me so much that He took my punishment on the cross, and that what He did made it possible for me to be forgiven by God. I Peter 3:18
I knew that all I had to do was receive God’s free gift of eternal life by calling on Him to save me. Romans 10:9

That’s pretty much it. There was a TON I didn’t know. But I knew enough about salvation to do the calling. Along with my love for telling children about Christ, I’m also passionate about us as adults not making it hard for a child to be saved. It’s as though we feel they have to be on an adult level of understanding before they can really trust the Lord. I heard a preacher say recently something like this,

Often when a child talks to us about salvation, we ask adult questions they cannot answer,

and we say they’re not ready to be saved.

Then when an adult needs to come to Christ we tell them to just have

childlike faith!

There was so very much I DIDN’T know about the Lord, His Word or my eternal destiny. But you know what? That didn’t change my decision to receive Christ that day!

I hear many adults wonder about their child and say, “What if they’re not ready?” Then don’t push them, but if they’re asking you questions, just lead them to Jesus! Will you regret that they came too soon, or that they needed to make it sure later on? No! Bring them to Him! Then continue to guide them and teach them. Make it easy for them to find Christ! Don’t put them off because you wonder if they are really ready.

Another question is, “What if they don’t really understand?” I ask a child questions. Here’s what I may ask:

Why did you raise your hand in class? Even if the invitation was so very clear – “Come see me if you want to know how to have Jesus as your Savior and have your sins forgiven.” Sometimes a child will shrug their shoulders and not have a clue. Maybe they came because a friend came up. I’ll just pat them on the shoulder and say, “That’s okay. Thanks for coming to see me!” End of discussion.
If they say, “I want to talk about Jesus…” then we go forward.
If your child is talking to you and others about needing to be saved, then it’s obvious the Holy Spirit is working in their heart. You might ask them, “Why do you think you need to be saved? When should a person ask Jesus to save them?” As a parent, use every discipline time as another reminder of their sinful nature and their need for Christ.
Have you ever sinned? If they say, “yes.” I’ll ask what sin is and why is it a problem. If they say, “No!!!!” It’s usually also the end of the discussion.
What did God do for us because we have sinned and we cannot enter heaven with sinful hearts? I have them read with me John 3:16 and Romans 6:23.
What do we have to do to receive a gift? What do we do to receive God’s gift of eternal life?
Are you ready to pray and receive God’s gift of salvation?
I have them pray out loud – not so I can grade their prayer, but to make sure they’re not praying for their Papa’s surgery or their gold fish that died. (Trust me, it can go there if the child isn’t really serious about salvation at this point.)

If you can keep a child on point through those brief questions, that in itself is also a good indicator that they’re really thinking about their need for Jesus. Once I had a child respond at an invitation and when I started asking them questions they went off on conversations about their toys, their dog and vacation time. It was obvious to me they didn’t come because they were wanting to receive Christ.
If, however, the child prayed and admitted they were a sinner and asked Jesus to come in their life, then rejoice with them and remind them that the angels in heaven are also rejoicing!!!

It grieves my heart to hear a parent say to me that their child has been asking to be saved, but “We don’t feel he’s ready.” To me, that’s a scary place to be. Don’t stand in front of the cross and hinder them; move aside and join them on your knees as they, in their childlike faith pray to be saved!

My girls were saved at a very young age, and both have said they never doubted their salvation. Neither have I. I knew God would keep His promise when He told me I would have eternal life! I believe that’s the very essence of child-like faith!

How about you? Do you have a certainty that you will go to heaven when you die? This is an excellent video (left side of screen, click to enlarge) about how you can have a relationship with God and eternal life with Him.

Because Jesus loves the little children,

P.S. I got saved while attending Sunday School. You might like to read this post about the value of Sunday School and what it did for me!

baking · children · Crafts · Family life · home · memories · Motherhood · summertime · Uncategorized

Summer Fun Series (Day Two)

June 7, 2017June 6, 2017 RefreshHer1 Comment

Here we go – another list of fun things for children to enjoy during summer months:

front porch2a

This clever treasure box, which is organized around the principle that anything goes, has ample room for plastic bags of beach sand, seed packets, subway tokens, maps, sea glass, photos, finger paintings, invitations or even a tiny book of best friends’ autographs.

box

Start with a sturdy cardboard box (one with a lid), which your child can label with his name and the date. As he amasses odds and ends, he can tuck them inside or, if he prefers, glue some onto the outside of the box. To give the box a durable finish, brush on a coat of white glue thinned with water or cover with Con-Tact paper.

Make Homemade balls:

balls
CRAFT MATERIALS:
9 (11-inch) balloons (for 3 balls)
Funnel
2 1/4 cups of dried lentils
Scissors
Time needed: Under 1 Hour
1. Stretch the first balloon by inflating it halfway, holding it closed for about 30 seconds, and deflating it. 2. Place a funnel in the balloon’s neck and gradually pour in 3/4 cup of lentils, pushing them in as you go. The balloon should be firm but squeezable. 3. Snip off the balloon’s thick rubber lip. Cut the neck off a second balloon and gently stretch the opening. 4. Ease the second balloon over the filled balloon, tucking in the neck as you go. 5. Cut the neck off the third balloon, stretch the opening, and ease it over the other two. Repeat this process to make a set of three balls, or however many you’d like.
How about making some cute cupcakes on the day your grass gets cut? What a yummy reward! Or make these for a great Father’s Day treat! This idea was on Family Fun web site.

lawn mower cupcake
RECIPE INGREDIENTS:
Chocolate-frosted cupcakes
Coconut, flaked
Green food coloring
Hershey’s Nuggets
M&M’s
Frosting
Black licorice laces
1. For each cupcake, mix a handful of flaked coconut with a few drops of green food coloring. Press a chocolate-frosted cupcake into the coconut to cover. 2. The mower is made with a dark chocolate Hershey’s Nuggets body, brown M&M’s wheels, and a red M&M’s engine, held in place with dabs of frosting. 3. Shape the handle from a piece of black licorice lace, then insert the ends into the cupcake.

Make a simple version of homemade ice cream –

What you’ll need:
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup milk or half & half
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
6 tablespoons rock salt
1 pint-size plastic food storage bag (e.g., Ziploc)
1 gallon-size plastic food storage bag
Ice cubes

How to make it:
Fill the large bag half full of ice, and add the rock salt. Seal the bag.
Put milk, vanilla, and sugar into the small bag, and seal it.
Place the small bag inside the large one, and seal it again carefully.
Shake until the mixture is ice cream, which takes about 5 minutes.
Wipe off the top of the small bag, then open it carefully. Enjoy!

Tips:
A 1/2 cup milk will make about 1 scoop of ice cream, so double the recipe if you want more. But don’t increase the proportions more that that — a large amount might be too big for kids to pick-up because the ice itself is heavy.

Don’t forget some of the good ol‘ standby summer fun things, such as:

Hopscotch on the driveway
Hula hoops
Sprinkler or water hose jump rope
Cardboard boxes – find a refrigerator box and let the kids make a playhouse or puppet stage
Make Popsicles
Play hide and seek just as it’s getting dark. Use flashlights to tag!
Don’t forget the library. There are so many fun things to do there!

Enjoy…summer’s going to be gone before we know it and we’ll be pulling out the sweaters!

Denise Signature 200 px