Christian Life · obedience · Parenting · Prayer · trust

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

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While visiting my parents in Kentucky over Thanksgiving, we took a drive to some old home sites and places I grew up.  One drive took us to a small town where I had originally thought I’d go to college.  My husband pulled the car into the entrance gate and my mind played back the scene as I looked through the car windows and recalled the last time I was there…

My plans were made, and in my heart, my future was set.  As a senior in high school, I thought I was sure what God wanted for me.  I would attend a local college, literally up the road.

I would live at home.

I would become a nurse and serve the Lord with that ministry.

It was settled.

Then one Friday night I drove through the entrance of the college pictured above for a weekend visit of the campus. This was a time for perspective students to visit and get an idea of what college life was like on this campus.  It was labeled as a Christian school.  I was excited about that, because Christ is my Savior, and I desired to live my life and be in places that honored Him.  I had visited a large Christian university in another state earlier that year, just for a fun weekend, and was so impressed with the spiritual temperature of the campus and in the lives of the students.

However, what I had anticipated seeing and hearing on this weekend was not at all what I saw or heard.  Though this was supposed to be a Christian school, that was definitely not the testimony I witnessed.  I was heartbroken.  At the end of my visit, I got in my car, pulled away from the school, and cried the 15 minute ride home.

I couldn’t have been more sure that God was saying a firm, “No” to all my plans.

At the time I remember how devastated I was.  I wasn’t sure what I would do now.  I had literally had the rug pulled out from under my feet.

I cried and I prayed.

I also talked with my parents, whom I knew were much wiser, and would give me godly counsel.  I suggested the Christian college that I had visited earlier in the year, but they had valid concerns and they lovingly said, “No.”

When you’re an 18 girl who is a child of God, and you live at home, have no job, or no idea about where to get an education, you quickly enroll in the school of prayer.  As I submitted to my parents counsel, and prayed for God’s direction, He provided me with a job at the Coca Cola Bottling Company, working in the accounting department.  That was totally of the Lord, seeing I had NO experience in this field, and didn’t even do super well in my math classes!

I went to work there, and enjoyed my life as a young single adult, all the while praying that if God would allow, He would open the door for me to attend the Christian college eight hours from my home.  In the middle of the year, my mom asked if I was still desiring to attend school there.  I answered that I was.  She gave me their blessing!  I finished out the summer working at Coca Cola and prepared to leave in the fall.

That move to the large Christian university in September changed the direction of my life forever and in wonderful ways.

God’s timing was perfect.

His provision was complete.

His grace was sufficient.

His plan was perfect because He is God.

I learned some really important lessons during those months of waiting and wondering that have served me well as an adult.  In my mind’s eye, when I visit that driveway of the other school, I don’t just remember God shutting that door, I remember the lessons I learned about trusting Him, the sweetness of prayer, and of Him opening the next door – in His time and in His perfect way.

What are you waiting for today?  God’s will to be revealed?  A test result?  A mate?  A provision?  An answer?  Don’t give up and do your own thing.  You can trust God with every detail that He will arrange in His sovereign ways.  Wait and trust.  You’ll be glad you did.

So thankful,

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Christian Life · ministry · Prayer

If It Hadn’t Been For the Lord…

I am a perpetual list maker.  I always have been.  It makes my days run smoother.  It makes me see that I’ve accomplished something.

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But sometimes that habit becomes a stumbling block because it can cause me to run on “auto-pilot.”

Breaking that down, it simply means that I run on “Denise’s ability”  rather than God’s. 

Here’s how Denise’s list goes:

  • Blog post  – I get a “great idea” in my head and type it up without praying about it.
  • Make bread – I made our bread and freeze the other loaf without asking God with whom I could share the extra bread.
  • Grocery shopping – I buzz through the store, with little thought about having a Gospel conversation with a shopper who speaks to me.
  • Dry Cleaners – The worker looked worn and worried, but I didn’t ask how her day was going and how I could pray for her.

Everything got checked off, but it was done in my strength and with my limited abilities.  Nothing extraordinary happened as result.  Denise’s abilities revealed.

This week I read Psalm 124:1 -3

 If it had not been the Lord who was on our side, now may Israel say;

 If it had not been the Lord who was on our side, when men rose up against us:

 Then they had swallowed us up quick…

Israel had victory and they could say, “If it hadn’t been for the Lord we would have been swallowed up by our enemy!  God interrupted their day!

That verse made me stop and ask myself – “What happened in my day yesterday that I would say, If hadn’t been for the Lord who was on my side things would have turned out much differently!”?  Did I look to the Lord to break in and interrupt my plans? Or did I do everything in my own strength instead?

Oh, that every day I would allow God to interrupt my plans.  It might look like this instead:

  • Blog post – “If it hadn’t been for the Lord, I wouldn’t have thought to post that!”
  • Bake Bread –“If it hadn’t been for the Lord, I would have missed meeting the new family up the street, but He reminded me I needed to take them a loaf of bread and introduce myself!”
  • Grocery Shopping – “If it hadn’t been for the Lord nudging me to invite the sweet lady at the store to my church, she may never have visited!”
  • Dry Cleaners – “If it hadn’t been for the Lord nudging me to pray with the worker at the dry cleaners, I never would have known that her husband was diagnosed with cancer recently.”

Do you see what a difference depending on and surrendering to the Lord makes in our day? His abilities are revealed! I have missed out on His blessings so many times, simply because I was not relying on His Spirit and power to work through me to do what only He can do.  How sad.How empty.

But today is a new day to surrender.

This situation is another opportunity to give my plans to Him!

Today’s list is another chance to see Him step in and do what only He can do!

What happened in your day yesterday that would make you say – “If it hadn’t been for the Lord THAT never would have happened!”?  How much of your day yesterday was empowered by the Spirit of God and how much was done in your own strength?  God wants to use us as His instruments, if we’ll only surrender our wills (and our lists!) to Him.

Thankful for His grace,

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Christian Life · Fall · Family life · Parenting · Refreshment in marriage

Friday Favorites – God’s Timing, the Potter’s Wheel and Fall Beauty

Happy Friday!  Here are some highlights of my week pictured below!

Liza found a cozy place to nap against my Vera Bradley bag; what’s cuter than a cat striking a pose?!

A dear missionary friend of our always says, “God loves to surprise us.” How true, according to Jeremiah 33:3 – Call unto Me and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things which ye know not.  Last Sunday our daughter and son-in-law announced that they believe God’s will for them right now is to pursue foster-parenting.  As an answer to their prayers, this is the direction God has led them.  We couldn’t be happier for them or the precious children they will love on.

Here they are sharing their hearts last Sunday.  How grateful I am for people who have encouraged them as they take this step towards obedience!

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As the pretty picture my neighbor boy colored for me says, He makes all things beautiful in His own time!  We look forward to all that God has in store for them!

Last spring I attended a Ladies’ Prayer Advance that literally has changed my world.  This weekend my husband and I are privileged to be attending a Couple’s Prayer Advance – our first ever.  He’s participating in some of the ministry part, but we are excited to be here to learn and grow and change and PRAY!  It’s held in Pigeon Forge, so we are enjoying the beauty of the mountains and their colors!

 

When we are in Pigeon forge, we love eating at a restaurant, The Pottery Cafe’.  Their food is great and they serve all their meals on pottery made next door.  We love going to the pottery shop and watching the potter making the clay into beautiful dishes.  It’s amazing, and such a reminder of what God wants to do to me each day.  My heart must remain soft and pliable if I am to be what the Potter designs.

Beauty, Prayer, Molding and shaping, and God’s timing – that’s what my week has held.  I’m so grateful for the Lord using the day-to-day events and happenings to teach me and prepare me for His will.

Even as we look towards next week and the election of our president, let’s remind ourselves that a sovereign God is in control and He is preparing and providing in His time and His way.  We can trust Him!

Stay refreshed,

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Christian Life · Encouragement · Family life · Godly Character Traits · Motherhood · Parenting

How To Be the Greatest Blessing to Your Children

As parents, don’t we all long to be a blessing to our children?  There’s so much you could do, and it can sometimes be overwhelming, can’t it?  I mean we could…send them to a private school, homeschool them, give them private music lessons, take them to every service at church, feed them the best organic foods, make sure their immunizations are up to date, or bake them your famous chocolate chip cookies.  But is all this enough?  Too much?

I love how God’s Word breaks down Truth for us in a way that simplifies what we tend to complicate. I read in Proverbs 20:7 yesterday –

The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

The “just” person is a woman who has trusted Christ as her Savior and now has a standing before God.  She is “justified” and God sees her through Christ as having never sinned.  Amazing, isn’t that?!  After that amazing transformation, she walks in integrity, and in so doing, is a blessing to her children.

What does it look like for a woman to “walk in integrity?”

  • She is steady.  She’s not waffling all over the place – hot and cold, back and forth, up and down.  She has her heart towards her Savior and her face towards heaven.
  • She is sold-out.  Her life belongs completely to God.  Therefore, she is in His Word daily, in His house regularly and on her knees consistently.
  • She is sparkling.  This doesn’t mean she never sins, but she is not involved in things that would cause someone to question her integrity.  Relationships are guarded, her heart is pure and her eyes are shielded against the things that would distract her from her spiritual goals.

Did you notice that none of those marks are things you do for your children? It’s nothing you buy for them or cook up in the kitchen. It’s all about who we are in our heart that makes us a blessing to anyone.  As we live out a faithful life for Christ, we are a blessing to those that we rub shoulders with, and who do you rub shoulders with more than those in your own home?!

So, what are you doing today that reveals your integrity?  Stay steady, sold out and sparkling, and you will be a great blessing to your children and grandchildren!  Oh, but go ahead and bake them some chocolate chip cookies!  A little sweet treat never hurt any mom’s reputation!

With love,

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Christian Life · Marriage · Refreshment in marriage

Marriage Matters Recap

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It’s time for a recap of #MondayMarriageMatters.  I’ve encouraged women to post on Instagram a picture each Monday of something that shows them putting thought and effort into their marriage, and that Marriage really does Matter!  I love seeing what each lady posts!  There are now about 175 posts!  Go to Instagram and search #Mondaymarriagematters and you’ll be able to see all the fun photos and explanations.

This month of October had some fun dates and some special times to share as a couple.  Here’s how I sought, with God’s help, to build my marriage.

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If I understand that my marriage matters, and my marriage matters to God, I will daily be seeking out how I can obey my role as a wife.  I read this verse today and was reminded that I am doing one of two things:  I’m either building up my home, or I am tearing it down.  These are my “Pink verses” that I remind myself of over and over.
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Being married to a pastor often means I wait and wait and wait.  I wait after services for him to meet with an individual who is hurting.  I wait during his ministry meetings.  And I wait while he listens to complaints and criticisms, and I pray. Then we ride home and I listen, encourage, and remind him (and myself) of Truth.  He has told me many times that he can take anything as long as he knows I’m behind him.  Sometimes I’m sure that’s the best gift I can give him.  
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Marriage usually attracts opposites.  That is certainly true of us.  Instead of trying to make him be like me, I’ve learned to let him be the man (or pirate!) God made him to be and be thankful for our differences.  He’s outgoing, a strong leader, the entertainer of the crowd, and I’m none of those.  God put us together for a reason.  He is my completer and I’m so thankful!
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He baked cookies.  I pulled out an OLD game.  Family Game Night followed.  It’s nights like these that allow us to laugh, act like we did when we were young, and forget the pressures of the day.  We NEED it.  Our marriage needs it.  We love it!

If you’re on Instagram, you can follow me at denisec_refreshher so you won’t miss any Monday marriage posts.

What have you done recently to show that YOUR marriage matters?

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