This has been a special week in that it was our first time to keep our grandsons overnight! Their parents went away for two nights and three days to celebrate their anniversary, so we were asked if we could keep their twin sons in their absence. We agreed to, of course, but I’ll be honest- I was a little nervous about it! Why? Continue reading “My Gigi Life”
Category: Discipleship
Family Friday – Training in Discipline
“Go to your room. I’ll be there in a minute.” Those words spoken to our daughters when they were growing up were serious words. They knew that it meant one thing – a S-P-A-N-K-I-N-G was coming! Sometimes they would hear our footsteps soon after they’d gotten to their bedroom. Other times, we would have to go off and pray and collect ourselves first!
In our home, discipline always took place in a private place. If we were at home, it Continue reading “Family Friday – Training in Discipline”
Books On My Tables
A wonderful book is a treasure. I love to read, and I’m always on the search for a new author or title to check out. While there have been years when I was busy with homeschool that I didn’t get to read as much as I wanted, I pretty much always have a “book going.”
It only seems fair to share my treasures with you! So today I’m sharing three books that are sitting on my coffee tables that I’m currently reading and LOVING! They’re different enough that I can read all three at the same time.
Adorned – This is one of those books that every woman needs to read – and then reread at least every other year. Titus 2 is the backdrop for all the teaching and instruction found here. It’s practical, convicting, helpful and challenging. She addresses both the older and younger women and ends each chapter with a list of questions for each. My copy is covered in yellow highlights to help me remember these essential truths for my life as a woman who loves and desires to live for God.
For my girls’ birthdays this year, I gave them each two copies – one for themselves, and one to give to an older woman they could ask to go through it with them. This book is best when shared with at least one friend. Do your spiritual life and your female side a favor and read this!
The Most Important Place on Earth – This book about the home was written by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth’s husband years before they were ever married. His first wife died of cancer, and he and Nancy married nearly two years ago. Robert is an excellent, compelling writer. I have laughed out loud as he shared many tales from his own home life. He wisely shares the ingredients needed to make our homes the most important place on the earth.
I got my copy from Amazon for less than a dollar. There are updated versions that have a cover that’s current to today, but the message is one that will be relevant for all time. I highly recommend this book, and am thankful that my sis recommended it to me! Thanks, Dianne!
The Cave, The Cabin and The Tattoo Man – This book also came from my sister, who has met the author, Tim Callahan, from Kentucky. To read the title you might be surprised that I’m reading it, but the story is precious. It’s a fiction book based on the author’s growing up years, which happen to be the same era in which I grew up. Hence, the illustrations and pictures he paints take me back to my own childhood days.
This is the story of a little boy who stays with his grandparents during the summer months. He helps them with the little grocery store they owned. He fishes in their pond so well that he is the envy of all the grown men, and he gets himself into precarious situations during his free hours.
When I need a book to just take me away on a little vacation, this is the one I’m reading…for the second time. This is a series, too, which is fun. I love knowing there is one to follow!
I hope you’ll check into reading at least one of these suggestions. They’re all worthy of your time, and in my opinion, much better value than anything television has to offer! Autumn is nearly upon us, and aren’t fall and winter the best times to snuggle in somewhere comfy with a cup of coffee and read a compelling book?!
Do you have a treasured book you’re reading? Please share in the comments! I’ll need some new titles soon!
Keeping Children On the Peripheral
Many homes today put the children at the center of the home. Everything revolves around them, their wants, and their preferences. Of course when you have a baby in your home, you have no choice but to make them the center. But often we fail to allow them as they grow to move farther away from the center to the peripheral. Let me explain.
In the book, The Disciplines of the Home by Anne Ortlund, Anne makes a statement I had never heard, but totally agree with and have taught in principle:
“In the home, children should be on the peripheral.”
She goes on to say that if children are at the center, when they are removed, there is a huge gap in the husband/wife relationship. Do you think it’s remotely possible not to make your children the center of your home?
How does one go about not putting them in that place when they require so much time, attention and discipline?
How does one go about not putting them in that place when they require so much time, attention and discipline?
Anne didn’t detail this point, but here are my thoughts –
- The children shouldn’t dictate what is going to happen in your home. “I don’t want to go to Pizza Hut for supper! I want to eat at McDonald’s” It’s not that they can’t make the choice sometimes, but when Mom and Dad have made a decision, it should stick.
- Mom and Dad need their own time. Children sleeping with their parents should be a rare occasion. Bedtimes give Mom and Dad an opportunity to talk, spend time together playing a game, or share a snack.
- Parents need a date night. Don’t let the children’s cries keep you from leaving them occasionally. Let them know you’re going away to make a better home for them.
- As the mom, recognize your husband’s needs and make sure you’re meeting those before doing extra things with/for your children. Are you always jumping up to do something for them, and don’t spend time just being with him?
- Be sure you’re spending your recreational times together as a couple and not making it the norm for one parent to be running here with one child, and the other taking another child there. Be a family.
We all know that children have many needs – especially when they’re little, but the tendency is to keep allowing them to be needy and being the very center of the family’s circle where the parents ought to be.
Take a good look at the circle of your family; who’s in the middle and who’s on the peripheral? Does there need to be a change?
With love,
Training Children To Sit and Participate in Church
Die.
That remembrance still makes me laugh!
Sometimes, though, the things children do in church aren’t so funny – especially if you’re the parent. I’m not sure if there’s anything more stressful or humiliating for a parent than trying to teach their little one to sit quietly anywhere, but especially at church. Your child gets fidgety and talkative just the time there’s a need for quiet, right? We’ve all been there, and I want to encourage you that there is hope!
I’ve blogged about this before, but I just felt the need to rehearse a few ideas about teaching your child to sit through a church service.
- Train them. Talk to them before you leave home. Tell them what is going to happen when you get there. Remind them that you’re going so you can worship God and learn more about him!
- Will they be going to Sunday school? Remind them that you’ll be back to pick them up.
- Tell them what kind of behavior you expect from them while they’re in class.
- Will they go to Pastor’s Pals or up front to sing with the children? Prepare them for what you expect.
- Fortify them. Feed them a nourishing breakfast to hold them over through the service time.
- Equip them. Pack a bag to take to church. Keep it only for church times and fill it with quiet books, crayons, etc. that will help them to listen if they’re old enough. They could draw a picture of something pastor is talking about. If they’re older, they might have a special book to write down important words he hears in the message.
- Help them. Don’t bring or give them sugary drinks or snacks – you’ll only be making it more impossible for them to sit still!
- Reward them. I read about one mom who played the “Seat game.” After training her two children to sit quietly in church, their mom told them they could sit one row in front of the parents next week since they’d done so well. Each week that they obeyed and sat quietly and obediently, they all moved up one row. Eventually they were seated on rows two and three! You obviously couldn’t do this with really young children, but it would might be a great incentive for school-aged children.
- Discipline them. If your child misbehaves, don’t wait for it to get better and stay in the service where they’re causing a ruckus! Take them out immediately and deal with it, and deal with it in a way that they won’t want it repeated. If they get to go out and run around the foyer, they’ll learn that this is more of a reward than a punishment!
- Model for them. Encourage worship. By your example of engaging in the singing and worship, teach them to follow your lead! Sing! Pray! Open your Bible! Take notes!
- Praise them. Be sure to review the service on the way home. Applaud their good behavior and obedience!
- Warn them. Deal with the disobedience and use it as a teaching tool for the next service and warn them about what will take place if this happens again.
Training, training, training. This must be consistent and loving. It also really, really helps if you attend regularly. Sporadic attendance will lose any training! When this is every week, several times a week, they’ll get it!
This takes time, of course, but you probably won’t be getting called to their classroom nearly as often for behavior issues! Instead, the teacher will pull you aside to ask what you’re doing at home that’s made such a difference. Oh, she may also tell you about the hilarious thing your child said to her in class that day!
Stay at it! You will make it!
With love,
RefreshHer 