Family Friday – Marriage Advice from Two Seasoned Marriages

February 17, 2017February 16, 2017 RefreshHerLeave a comment

This week I have had the blessing of spending a few days in Kentucky with my parents. Family time is always a blessing – even if it includes being here with them during a time of physical issues and tests, like this visit. I also got to see my twin sister and her husband – an added blessing! We always end up having many long conversations – in the library, in the sun room, around the table at mealtimes and in the living room while we rest comfortably in their lovely and restful home.

Last night I asked questions to each of my parents, my sister and my brother-in-law after we finished supper. I was thinking about the longevity demonstrated in the marriages in that room. My parents are approaching 62 years, my sister and her husband, nearly 39. My question to each of them was,

What is one piece of advice you would give to married couples to help their marriage endure?

Here’s what they said,

Mom ~ “To young married couples, I would say to move away from your parents for at least the first year. That way if something comes up between you two, you can’t go running home – you have to work it out together.
To all marriages, I would say something that my mother told me – ‘Never make your children the center of your marriage, because if you do, when they leave home, you’ll be strangers to one another.'”

mom-and-dad

Dad ~ “Each of you have to give 100%. You can’t do what you think is ‘your part’ and think you’ve done enough. Each has to give 100%.”

Jeff ~ “Learn to laugh and have fun. Don’t take yourselves too seriously. Remember, too, that you’ve made a covenant with God to stay together for life.”

dianne-and-jeff

Dianne ~ “Leave your parents and cleave to your mate! Also out-serve one another. Rather than wishing he would do this or that, do for him. Pray for one another!

That’s some good advice! There’s lots more that all of them could add, but I just asked for one top thing they would tell marriages in order to go the long haul!

Which one of these comments struck a chord in your heart? Why not ask the Lord to help you implement that characteristic into your marriage beginning today?

Refresh your marriage,

Denise Signature 150 px

Organizing Your Bible Study Tools

February 8, 2017February 7, 2017 RefreshHerLeave a comment

The best way I could ever start any day is by spending the first part of it in the study of God’s Word and prayer. I know that without the instruction in His Word, I would be desperate. I would have no wisdom, order, no direction, no hope for today. Therefore, it is my practice to spend the first part of my day in a place pulled apart from everything so that I can focus on what God wants to say to me.

O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is. Psalm 63:1

Most times, I am seated in a comfy chair in my bedroom. I chose this spot because it has few distractions. I like to have everything I need in one place so that I don’t spend 15 minutes trying to find my Bible, a pen, my journal, and so on. I noticed recently that the tools I use to study with had gotten disheveled, causing my non-distracted space to become distracted! So I set out to fix that problem, and I’m so much happier when I sit down each morning. I can get to my books easily, I have pen ready and waiting, and it’s not a cluttered mess!

I wondered if anyone else might be struggling with the same problem of how to organize your study tools – your Bible, a journal for notes, a prayer journal, other Bible study books, markers, highlighters, etc. It can literally take over a corner of a room, can’t it?! I’m going to show you pictures of how I organized my things. I hope it will give you some ideas, so you can focus on God and His Word, rather than a mess that’s surrounding you!

I didn’t want to add a large bookshelf or even another piece of furniture to my room, so here’s what I did with my books – first, I used a table with a tray on top.

You’ll notice that not everything is “out.” My tray holds the items I use every day. The pen holder is on the tray, but kind of tucked back out of the view, but within reach.

My extra books and larger Prayer journal notebook are in two book bags on the floor, beside my chair. They, too, are tucked out of view, as you can tell by the first picture on the post.

No longer am I staring at a huge pile of books. It’s all easy to reach, and is organized according to priority.

Maybe you have a great system that works for you, but if you need a little help, I hope this inspired you a little!

Stay refreshed in God’s Word!

home · Marriage

Family Friday- Your Husband is Worth It!

February 3, 2017February 2, 2017 RefreshHer7 Comments

lipstick 1.jpg

When I read in Scripture about some of the men having multiple wives, my heart cringes. I can’t even imagine the rivalry between “tender-eyed” Leah and lovely Rachel, sisters who both married Jacob. There’s enough right there for all kinds of trouble, right?!

But let’s set all that aside and look at one thing – Jacob noticed that Rachel was beautiful. He had eyes to see that she was lovely. Men are visual. Period. That is how God made them. When your husband chose you, he liked – no, he loved what he saw! What did he see? Think back to your introduction, or the time when his heart began to be drawn to you. How did you look to him?

I remember when my husband and I began to date seriously, he would come visit his parents for the weekend, which also happened to be the city where I lived and worked. Before he left very early on Sunday morning to head back to school, I would get up and get ready for church- shower, hair fixed, and dressed for the service. I wanted to look my best so he’d remember me that way in the weeks we were apart! Now obviously, since we’ve been married, he’s seen me LOTS of mornings before makeup and hair and he loves me. But I would be foolish to remain the plain, unkempt look for the rest of the day! After I add a bit of makeup and curl my very straight hair, it might not improve much, but it’s better than when I started, and my husband notices! Why do I do it? Because my husband is worth it!

I can get a bit weary of the girls on Instagram or blog world who say,

“Here’s my Momiform. This is just the way it is, folks!”

The caption is under a picture of her with leggings and a baggy t-shirt, hair pulled back in a pony tail and no makeup. Her message is that life is just too busy, too demanding to do anything else but pull this on and live in it until it’s time for bed.

No one has to be outfitted in finery, or look like a model, but putting on a pair of comfy jeans or pants, a top with some form, a pair of earrings, and five minutes at hair and at least some mascara and lip gloss, would not only make her husband smile, like Jacob looking at Rachel, but would probably also make her feel more energetic and ready for a day of demands before her! Seriously, getting ready for the day – even if you only have 30 minutes, will make you feel more like some body and doing something! Why do we do it? Because our husband is worth it!

Show your husband that he is worth it by gussying up a bit each day before he comes home. Wear something he loves to see you wear. Put on a necklace or scarf with those jeans. Add a little blush, mascara and lip gloss. Stop making excuses and just do it. Our husband sees all kinds of women every day that did take the time to look their best…we should too. Our marriage is worth it!

Is this a difficult assignment? I Corinthians 13 reminds us not to “seek our own.” If you were going to put his needs and desires before yours, how would that change your attitude even about your appearance?

Refresh your marriage,

Denise Signature 150 px

home · Home decor

Make Home Special with Valentine Decor

February 1, 2017February 1, 2017 RefreshHer4 Comments

Happy February! Seasonal decorations make home fun for our families. It communicates life, care and spontaneity. You don’t have to go crazy, but just little touches here and there make it special!

Here are some of my Valentine’s Day touches around the house…

The mantle in our bedroom…

I moved my chalkboard upstairs because I needed a tall picture to offset all the little things. I enjoy doodling on that board sooo much! And it’s good to remember that God does love us so much!

A simple banner is hung in the dining area. I have a fresh arrangement on the table, too. I love buying fresh flowers in the winter – it reminds me of the life of spring, just around the corner!

In the kitchen I just added a couple of my heart-shaped cookie cutters to the centerpiece on the island…

The living room…

I made a banner from scrapbooking paper and twine.

A little soft lighting for the bookcase…

These are all simple additions to add Valentine touches without overkill.

It’s fun to have seasonal decor – even if you just add a centerpiece on the kitchen table. It’s the little things that your family will appreciate and remember.

You could fill a mug with a heart on it with carnations.
Fill a mason jar with candy conversation hearts. Tie A ribbon around the neck of the jar.
Line up your red mugs on a shelf.
Use heart-shaped doilies as a banner. Use tiny clothespins to hang them on a piece of twine.
Spray paint small branches white and attach small pink and red hearts. Place the branch in a white basket or vase.
Set out your February magazines on the coffee table or add red covered books to your bookshelf.
My Scrabbble tiles on the coffee table are used as part of my decor, too. What message could you leave for your family?

Of course Pinterest has hundreds of great ideas for you to get inspiration from! The point is to just do something because everyone loves Valentine’s Day!

What do you do to decorate for Valentine’s Day?

Denise Signature 150 px

home · Husband · Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · tongue · Women's roles

Family Friday – Be Kind!

January 27, 2017January 25, 2017 RefreshHer15 Comments

sea-of-galilee-1

Sometimes all it takes is a simple request to repeat what I just said to my husband that will do it. I make a statement, he doesn’t hear and he says,

“What did you say?”

So, out it comes again, only this time it has a razor-sharp edge to it that would make Floyd the barber flinch!

Do I think he purposefully cannot hear me? Do I really believe his diagnosis of hearing loss was an intentional plan just to get under my skin?

How ridiculous, yet, sadly, that’s occasionally how I respond!

Why is it often easier to be really kind to people we barely even know than to our spouse? He’s the one to whom we pledged to love until death, yet we kill him with our sarcastic responses, glaring looks and deathly silences.

There are kinder, nice ways of saying something and there are words or tones of voice that I could use that would upset someone. Your husband is a person, too. There are kinder, nicer ways of communicating with him and there are ways of setting him off, just by your choice of words or tone of voice.

Today’s encouragement for your family, your marriage, is just this –

Be Kind.

There are two ways to say something. Choose the kinder way.
Show him even greater kindness than you would a friend who you love dearly.
Smile at him.
Forgive him.
Listen.
Look in his eyes when he speaks.
Lend him a hand.
Do a favor.
Oh, and repeat yourself with the softest tone when he cannot hear you (said Denise to herself!)

Do you find yourself being kinder to others than you are your spouse? What will you do today to fix that?

Denise Signature 150 px