The Best Date that Costs Nothing

August 30, 2017August 29, 2017 RefreshHer5 Comments

Last Friday night my husband and I went on a date called The Bookstore Date. Here’s how it goes:

We headed to our local Barnes & Nobles Bookstore with a small list that I’d put on my phone. We headed to the back of the store where they have little tables and chairs, perfect for two. I pulled out the list. The object of the date is to find the suggested books, one at a time, bring them back and read whatever was asked. Then, you return the book and proceed to the next one until either your date time is up, or you finish the list. Here are the books we were to find:

#1 – Visit the COOKING section & chose a recipe that you would like to make for your spouse.
#2 – Visit the MAGAZINE section & find a quiz in a magazine that you and your spouse could do together.
#3 – Visit the CHILDREN’S section & find a book that was a favorite when you were a child or that holds a special memory for you…and read them to each other when you meet back up.
#4 – Visit the JOKE section and pick out a HI-LA-RI-OUS joke to share with your spouse.
#5– Visit the TRAVEL section and find a picture or information on a place you would like to visit someday.
#6 – Visit the POETRY section and find a poem that describes the way you feel about your spouse.

Giving me a trivia quiz from a book, rather than a magazine, as #2 suggests.

When was the last time someone read “The Little Gingerbread Man” to you?!

He is laughing so hard, he’s crying…and so was I!

We were at the bookstore for about an hour and a half and we only finished up to #4. Why? Because this date is so much fun and creates so much conversation that you don’t stop at reading just a part of the story, or one joke – you can’t resist reading more and laughing or talking or crying. If you decide to try this, you could do the first three on one night and the second three another time.

This is the best date, ladies. It costs nothing. It creates conversation. It’s so much fun! It will knit your heart to your husband’s as you spend some really special minutes reading together and to one another. Even non-readers would love this, because it’s not like you have to read a whole book – or even a chapter of anything. They’re just fun topics that help you to know one another even deeper.

What free date do you and your husband do to create memories and build your relationship?

Lovingly,

8E63C63AC0BC189BF1C68B03C74DBB5F

children · Church · Family life · Motherhood · obedience · Parenting

Training Your Preschooler to Sit in Church

August 29, 2017September 8, 2025 RefreshHerLeave a comment

Summer is nearly over and this is my last week to repost some old posts. This week I’m highlighting some of the most popular ones. I trust you’ll find something here that you never read, or that you need to be reminded of! The first one is about teaching your children to sit quietly in church. Have your kids mastered it? If not, here are some suggestions…

You looked so forward to being in church last Sunday, but by the time the service was over you had wrangled with your preschooler in the pew, your blouse was spotted with juice drops, the floor was littered with Goldfish Crackers, and you’re more ready for a deserted island alone without food or water than you are for the Sweet By and By!

Been there? Most of us have! But there is hope for you and your child to be able to sit through an entire service and actually hear the message and get a blessing out of it! Read on!

The picture below is the best place to train your preschool-aged child to learn to sit in church…

This is your living room or family room couch. That’s right, the best place to train your child about church is in your own home. If you wait until Sunday morning to try to teach them to sit down rather than run the aisles and to whisper, rather than shout out their requests, you’re headed for disaster and major frustration. Here are my suggestions for training a preschool-aged child to sit in church:

Clear the area you’re going to sit in and make it free of distractions. TV is off and toys are stashed away.
Get one or two quiet activities like a Bible flannel book or other quiet book, and perhaps one quiet toy like a coloring book and a few crayons (no markers!). These toys will be reserved only for your Quiet Time, so they’re “new” each time they’re brought out. Purchase or make several books/quiet toys to keep only for this teaching time and Sundays. Take a look at this! Find similar ideas on Pinterest!
This is a magnetic fishing pond! Super easy to make and super fun for your child. Also super cheap!
Set the timer for five minutes to start. Gather yourself and your child and tell him he is going to sit on the couch with you until the timer goes off. Give him one book or toy and tell him he may play with it while you sit on the couch, but that he may not get down or talk. It’s time to listen. Show him how to sit, and remind him this is QUIET TIME. Tell him If he talks the toy will get taken away – he must play without talking.
Turn on a Podcast of your pastor, if available. If your pastor’s sermons aren’t online, use another broadcast. Have your Bible out and you sit still and listen.
When/if your child starts talking, try not to answer with words, but put your finger to your lips and shake your head “no.” Don’t answer a question for those five minutes. Give a couple silent warnings the first couple of days, but after two heads shaken, take the toy away as you promised you would do. If the child throws a fit or screams, take him out of the room, go to his bedroom or yours and remind him what you’re asking. If he continues to disobey you may need to apply loving discipline to correct his disobedience. The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov 29:15
When the timer goes off, discuss how they did. “You talked to Mommy, but remember, this is Quiet Time; time to listen to pastor preach. Or, “Yay! You sat so quietly and played! I’m so proud of you and so is God! We got to listen to Pastor preach and that makes God happy!”
The next day and for the whole week, keep up with the five minutes. The next week extend it to ten minutes. Keep at this until you’ve worked up to 30 minutes. A three or four year-old will be able to sit and play without food for thirty minutes. They’ll wiggle, they’ll sigh, but don’t give in and don’t give up! It will be worth it!
If you have more than one child, have a separate bag for each child. Give only one toy at a time, and have each child on either side of you. Be consistent! If they talk, warn once, then remove the toy.
If they throw a fit, discipline in another room, but then bring them back in and complete the five minutes. This will be the same routine once you take them into the service at church. If they disobey, you must discipline, and it shouldn’t be just that you go out and play in the foyer – that’s what they want! Either discipline, then bring them back to the back row where you were wisely seated, or sit out there with your arms around them so they are not able to get down and play.
Make this training time at home something to look forward to – not a miserable drudgery. That can be accomplished by the activity you choose to put into the bag, but again – just a quiet toy – not treats or lots of toys. Make it biblical, if you can, so they’re also “hearing about God.”

Who knows? You might even glean some wonderful Truths during your at home Quiet Times! It won’t be long – just a couple of months until you’re able to sit in church and actually enjoy the service. You know what? Your child will enjoy it a whole lot more, too!

Any questions? Any other suggestions?

Lovingly,

children · Encouragement · Family life · home · Motherhood · Uncategorized

School, Seasons and Sad Momma’s

August 25, 2017August 25, 2017 RefreshHer7 Comments

I want to take just a minute to encourage moms today. From one who has been there, I realize that this time of year can be an emotional roller coaster for women who may feel they aren’t needed in their children’s lives quite like prior years. My only longing is to give a biblical perspective to guide a mom’s heart. So, here we go…

Late August can only mean one thing for children – school is back in session. For some of their momma’s, there is relief of no more slamming screen doors, frantic baseball schedules and camp-bound teens. They greet the fall and its changes with a happy sigh and open arms.

But for some moms, this school session brings sadness because they’re not just staring at lunch boxes and back packs; they’re staring at the changes it has brought. Perhaps…

One child has left home to head to their first year of college.
A daughter is in their last year of elementary school.
A son is in his last year of junior high.
All children are out of school and out of the home due to graduation and/or marriage.

The type of changes could go on and on, but the truth is, every year we live is going to be full of what we often stiff-arm – a change in the seasons of our life. Here’s a beautiful reminder in God’s Word in Ecclesiastes 3 about the seasons of our lives:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

God has given us a mother’s heart to love our children, to love parenting and nurturing them, so how are we to deal with an end or a change of those seasons? How can we find joy and a reason to move on when our role is different and we don’t feel quite as useful or needed as a mom?

Think on Truth. We are commanded in Philippians 4:8 to think on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy. Therefore, if I let myself constantly think about those early days of my child’s life, and how much I miss when my girls were toddlers on teenagers, all I have to do is look into their current photos to realize that that is not the truth for today. Today they are grown, married and moving on in God’s will.Thinking about the truth of today could remind us that our kids are maturing; they’re developing into people that can serve God. Are they doing what we raised them to do, to serve and love God? Wonderful! Praise His name! If they’re away from the Lord, we can remind ourselves of the Truth that the Word we poured into them will not return void. God loves them more than we do and is pursuing them. What comfort Truth gives!
Enjoy the memories of former days with a proper perspective. Isn’t God gracious to allow us the blessing of being able to remember those past seasons? It’s fun to flip through photos and recall the years now behind us. But while you’re recalling those times, be honest with yourself and remember that those days also brought some hardships.We home-schooled our girls almost completely through, meaning I was a home-schooling mom for twenty years. While I loved it and was thankful for the opportunity to pour into my girls’ lives, I remember days when I just wished I could go to Walmart alone! Some days I tired of dissecting earthworms and reading book reports. It’s easy to focus on the highlights and get discontented with here-and-now. Be real when you’re looking back.
Honor your children and God when you reflect. If this next description is you, I honestly mean no ill, but I ask you to consider the reality for a minute. What adult wants their mom to post pictures or comments about their child, desiring that they were “a little boy once again?” I’m sure none of us would have wanted our mother-in-law to post toddler pictures of our husband because that’s how she wished she could see him. What girl wants to be remembered today as only what she was many years ago? If we really want to honor our children and be respectful of them (and their spouse, if they’re married) we will remember those former days only in our heart, and not on social media. Being considerate of their maturity is one small way to honor who they are today.How can we honor God in the way we remember our past seasons? Don’t think that your best days of serving Him was when you had children at home, or when they were littler, or more needy of you. Do you have a mate? Are you pouring as much energy and time into him? Each year as your children need you less, transfer that energy to your husband. If you have a ministry at church, give it your all. Find a younger woman to mentor and be a blessing in her life by spending time in God’s Word, working on projects together, praying with/for her and helping her in this busy season of her life!

I’m really not trying to get hate mail, but I only desire to encourage women to live as God would have us. Today is a gift from His hand, meant for serving, enjoying and laying up treasures in heaven. Don’t regret what’s gone – reboot and move on! This is a new season, Mom! Thank the Lord for yesterday and ask Him for a new opportunity to get out of bed, then put a smile on your face and be happy today! That might just mean going grocery shopping…alone! =)

What has been the most difficult time in your role as a mom?

Refresh your “momma” heart,

Heaven · trials

Former Things

August 24, 2017August 24, 2017 RefreshHer4 Comments

Flu, sinus infection, broken limb, pneumonia, gall bladder attacks, migraines, fever, back ache, joint pain, cataracts, heart attack and a million other maladies are all a part of people’s lives every day. Some people live with chronic pain for years. Others deal with periodic illness. Most all of us surely have had our share of sickness. Even when you read the Scriptures you read about leprosy, fever, blindness, blood issues, lame legs, and so on.

During a recent recurrence of a migraine, I was awakened after midnight with the nausea it caused. I rose to fix myself a cup of hot peppermint tea to ease the discomfort in my stomach. While sipping the steaming liquid in the dim nightlight I’d turned on, I reached for my pad of paper and pen and wrote down some thoughts I’d been thinking during the night. I wrote: Why God allows us to be sick:

It reminds us how weak our flesh is.
It makes us run to the Lord. (Remember the woman with the issue of blood who came to find Jesus and touch the hem of his robe?)
It enables us to sympathize and be compassionate with others.
It makes us thankful for days when we feel well.
It reminds us we’re not home yet.

We may not enjoy being sick, but, as funny as it sounds, it is good for us.

Revelation 21:4 says,

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

What a wonderful promise this verse is; I remind myself of it whenever I have a migraine.

Whatever discomfort you or someone you care about is dealing with today, remind yourself of the truth – One Day all these illnesses will be “former things!”

With love (and a cup of peppermint tea),