I’m totally not a believer in the Positive thinking mentality of “Just think beautiful thoughts and beautiful things will happen to you.”  Living in a fallen, sinful world means we will deal with fallen people and sinful situations – no matter how positively we think!

However, there is an area of  marriage in which positive thinking will indeed bring about change.

Thinking on positive attributes about your spouse can change your heart about them, which then has the potential to improve your marriage!

When we rehearse the negative characteristics about our mate all day long, in our own mind and in the ears of others, we are only magnifying those issues.  If a wife stews for hours about how she disdains that her husband dresses sloppily, when she sees him at the end of the day in his comfy clothes, those mental magnifiers will jump to attention! It won’t be easier to deal with –  it will be more difficult because she’ll feel justified as she finger points in his “messy” direction.

Think how much sweeter it would be to think of ONE POSITIVE THING for which we could thank the Lord all day long.  Perhaps it would be ~

• his thoughtfulness
• his work ethic
• his provision for your family
• his attention to detail
• his love for God
• his skills
•  his calm nature

Write it down.
Thank the Lord for that in your prayer time.
Write him a note telling him that you’re thankful for that area of his life.
Tell others both when he is present and when he is absent.

When we make a habit of rehearsing negative issues we’ll only feel overwhelmed and in despair.  But when we trade those thoughts for the positive traits in our spouse, we can’t help but grow to love him more.

Let me set the example – I have a husband who is a romantic at heart.  He is so great about doing the things to touch my heart.  He brings flowers.  He remembers our engagement anniversary.  He is loves to surprise me with gestures like bringing me breakfast while I’m having my quiet time.  He is such a special blessing in my life!

What one thing could you say today about your spouse?  Why not start by sharing it in the comments?

Refresh your marriage with positive thoughts!