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Lies I Believe About Myself

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The very morning after our recent small group study on Lies Women Believe about themselves, I woke up and stepped out on my back patio to enjoy the cool summer air.  The sun had only been up a little while, and when I looked up, I saw workers at the new house that’s been built behind us.  It is near completion, and from the day they broke ground, I have grunted and groaned over the interruption in our country life solitude. I stood there now, thinking about how I need my quiet out on our patio.  Immediately after that thought went through my mind, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the one of the lies we had talked about the night before – it’s the lie that

I have the right to…

That is a lie from Satan because as a believer in Christ, I understand that the only thing  I deserve is hell, and by God’s grace, He rescued me from that and has given me so much more in His kindness.  Do I love my quiet and privacy?  Yes.  Do I deserve my  quiet and privacy?  No.

This study by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth has revealed that that isn’t the only lie about myself that I’ve been believing.   Here are six she suggested. Read on and see if you recognize any in your own thoughts.

  1. I am not worth anything. We show we believe this when we allow our value to be determined by others.  A hurtful remark made about our physical features is allowed to govern the way we see ourselves.  We feel the need to be accepted by others and desire their approval.
    The Truth – My value is determned by what God thinks of me – not others.  Psalm 139
  2. I can’t help the way I am. If we believe our bad temper has simply been passed down from our family tree, or our weight issues are because “everyone in my family has a struggle losing weight,” we’ve bought into the lie that we can’t do anything about sinful tendencies.
    The Truth – I am responsible for my own choices and I can be changed through the power of the Holy Spirit.  I Cor. 5:17
  3. I need to learn to love myself.  We are bombarded with this lie by the world.  We prove we love ourselves by the way we take care of ourselves with food, sleep and relief from pain.  We get our feelings hurt and are touchy because we love ourselves.  If we didn’t care about ourselves, we wouldn’t care so much about being rejected and mistreated.
    The truth – We must learn to deny ourselves, as Christ did.  Our problem is not a low self esteem, it is a low view of God.  Realize how much He loves us! Romans 5:8
  4. I have my rights.  When moms demand a little solitude, or a wife feels she has the right to speak her peace, we’re showing our belief in this lie.  From fast food commercials telling  us we can have it our way, to hearing the crowd yell, “we have our rights,” we have been led astray. I heard about a woman who sued the Weather Channel on the local news cast for forecasting the weather incorrectly.  She got rained on when it was supposed to be sunny and got sick.  She won the law suit!!!
    The truth – We must yield all our rights to the One who ultimately holds all rights.  Psalm 37:1-11
  5. Physical beauty matters more than inner beauty.  Who hasn’t bought into this lie?  We fret over five pounds, check the mirror for wrinkles, and then worry about getting old, when of course we all are!  We fight looking older and do all we can to keep it from happening.  There’s nothing wrong with looking our best, but we can’t let our looks consume us.  Do we give as much time to the inner man as we do the outer?  Are we as concerned with the lack of spiritual growth as we are with the increase in aging of our bodies? 
    The truth – There has to be a healthy balance between looking our best and not letting it be what drives us. Instead, may we be driven to our knees to become a woman with a meek and quiet spirit which is of great price. I Peter 3:3-5
  6. I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings. We want something but can’t affort it?  Charge it.  We hunger for a craving, but we’ve already eaten enough?  We eat it anyway.  We feel unfulfilled in our marriage, so we feel justified in seeking a relationshp outside our marriage.  Not all longings are evil – so why should we have to live without them being fulfilled?
    The Truth – God doesn’t always fulfill our longings right away or sometimes at all.  Why? So we will depend on Him.  That longing can become what drives us to our knees each day to seek His face and help in this desire.  Psalm 34:8-10

Lies about ourselves are painful to identify, but we need to honestly look at what we’re really believing and admit the areas that are lie.  Then when we replace the lies with the Truth, we can enjoy the freedom that no Women’s Rights Activist group could ever give us.  It comes from the great God Who made us and loves us just as we are!

Do you recognize any lies here that you’ve been believing?

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organization · Priorities · Refreshment · Time management

Planning Can Bring Rest

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All those pretty planners that were sold in the month of December or January were so inviting.  There were stickers and binders as well as pretty pens to mark up the dates.  Did you purchase one?  Maybe you got one from Target or ordered a special Erin Condren version.  At any rate, how’s it going?  Is it still in use?  I think it’s easy to get started in those kinds of organizational tools and then let it slip off into the Ocean of Good Intentions.

Sometimes our feelings of being overwhelmed are due to over-scheduling ourselves.  Over-scheduling can come from lack of planning, and a lack of planning comes from getting a bit careless.  This is true of my own life.  I’ll tuck my planner in the cabinet, then start the week off and realize I’m going in circles, and not really sure what needs to be done that day/week.  The reason?  I didn’t write it down!  Why?  I was just too lazy to sit down and do it.

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If you feel overwhelmed and don’t have a planner, can I encourage you to try some sort of daily list?  It can be written in a simple notebook.  It doesn’t have to be anything fancy to get you organized.  Here’s my strategy:

  1. At the beginning of the week, I fill in all the appointments and daily routines I know I need to do.
  2. Each day I add the other things that I’d like to accomplish, such as blog posts, cleaning, service to others, etc.
  3. As I accomplish each task, I check it off.  This lets me realize at the end of the day, that even if some things were left undone, I did  get some things completed!

If other things come in and keep you from doing what you’d planned, accept it as the Lord’s intervention and go with it!  If you give each day to Him, your time is not your own and He will allow you to do what is necessary.

If you find you’re not getting things done and there was no “Divine Intervention,” make sure to look over your day and see where you’re wastitng time.  You might want to

  • Limit social media until after noon or after those tasks are completed.
  • Get up earlier, if possible.
  • Try to work on a time schedule – write out the time in the day when you think you should be on that next task.

Proverbs 28:19a He that tilleth his land shall have plenty of bread

Hard work pays off.  If we forget to “till the land” (prepare for a future time) we will feel overwhelmed with everything that is left undone.  A little tilling now will allow you to reap more than just bread!  You’ll reap the blessing of a rested heart.

Do you use a planner each day or do you need to start one?

Denise

 

Bread · Overwhelmed · Priorities · Uncategorized

Overwhelmed or Refreshed By Life?

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I’m just so overwhelmed!

Those words came from a wife, mom, employee, church member, daughter, daughter-in-law, who probably has lots more roles that she plays.  We’ve all been in the place where we feel like the pressures from every side are coming in on us.  So, how in the world DO we handle all those responsibilities?  They all need attention.  They’re all important, but we know we aren’t superwoman with super-powers enabling us to conquer the world in which we are engulfed.

What’s a woman to do? How do we get it all done?

I think we all have to re-evaluate often.  When we feel pressure about several things that need our attention, we have to stop and ask:

Is my life exemplifying a life that a is given over to the Lord to do as He wills each day?
Am I obeying His Word and priorities for my life?
Do my words and my actions match?

For instance, I love writing my blog, and my passion here is all about refreshment that begins with a relationship with Jesus Christ and then moves to family/home, then church and others.  If I follow the things I teach from God’s Word, I will keep blogging its right place.

This week we were able to make a quick trip to visit my family in Kentucky.  We celebrated Memorial Day on the lake with my sisters, their husbands and our parents.  It was a fabulous day.  At the end of the boating excursion and return to my parent’s home, we decided since it was late in the afternoon, we would wait and come home on Tuesday.  No blog post had been written for Tuesday, but I had a decision to make – visit with my family for those hours, or interrupt it with computer time.  The choice was simple. We had a great visit!

Here are some other practical examples that might happen in my life:

If it comes between…

  • Quiet time in God’s Word and rushing out the door…which will I choose? God is first.
  • Time at my church for services or time with visiting relatives?  God is first.
  • Time with friends at an extra outside activity or time I’d planned with my family?  Family is first.
  • Bible study with my small group or time to chill and watch a movie?  Others are first.
  • Time with my grandsons or time with my husband?  He is first.
  • Time to exercise or time to pray? God is first.
  • Time watching my friend’s children or watching my grandsons?  Family is first.

There are many times that I have regretted the poor decision to shift my priorities.  But I pray each day that the Lord will direct my steps and help me make the best choice, and He does when I lean in for His guidance.

One day last week I had an idea of what I would do that day and it got completely changed.  One event was when a friend stopped by.  She later sent a text apologizing for “keeping me,” but as I told her, when you give your day to the Lord, you take whatever He sends, and sometimes He sends the blessing of time with a friend when you didn’t expect it!  The Lord knew I needed that, even though I didn’t schedule it, He did! It refreshed me!

We need the Lord every single day for every moment of the day.  Rather than feeling overwhelmed, rest in God’s priorities for your life, and listen to His leading.  His plans are always better than what we could dream up, and when we lay our head on our pillow at night, we can say what Jesus said, “Lord, I have done the work you gave me to do.” His ways don’t overwhelm; they refresh.

What areas of your life do you need to re-evaluate according to God’s priorities for your life? Where do you feel most overwhelmed?

Don’t stress – Stay refreshed.

Denise

 

 

Uncategorized

Memorial Day

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I think this may be my favorite song about our great country –

My country, ’tis of Thee,

Sweet land of Liberty,

Of thee I sing;

Land where my fathers died,

Land of the pilgrims’ pride,

From every mountainside

Let Freedom ring.

Our fathers’ God to Thee

Author of liberty,

To Thee we sing.

Long may our land be bright

With freedom’s holy light,

Protect us by Thy might,

Great God our King.

Happy Memorial Day!

Denise

Family life · Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Having a Royal Marriage Without the Royal Wedding That Precedes It

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Royal Marriage
roy·al
ˈroi(ə)l/
adjective
  1. having the status of a king or queen or a member of their family.

I admit that I am kind of taking liberties with the word royal, but in all reality, if you and your husband are believers in Jesus Christ, you are a royal priesthood.  We learn that here –

I Peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Because of who we are in Christ, everything about us should show to the world the praise of our God Who saved us.  In other words, our marriages should display the Gospel.  If we do that, then our relationship with one another will truly be royal.

How can we have a Royal Marriage?

  1. Think of your spouse as royalty. If we were in the presence of a king, would we forget it? Of course not!  We should remind ourselves every day that we chose to marry this man!  He is our Prince Charming!  We must remember what we loved about him in the beginning. If he doesn’t seem quite so charming today, it’s our thoughts that have changed, so we need to change them back. Instead of dwelling on the negative, we must think on the things that we love about our prince!
  2. Keep your eyes on your royal family.  When any of the British royalty are out in  public, all eyes are on them!  We must keep our eyes on only our mate, and not even consider looking at someone else.  Keep your vows you made before God.  He wants your marriage to succeed even more than you do!
  3. Treat your spouse like royalty.  Yes, treat him like a king.  Do it as a way to show your love.  Be watching and anticipating his needs so you can meet them.  Paul reminds us in Philippians 2:3,4 But in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.  We’re not going to think of ourselves first – we’ll think of our mate. Doing this is a true blessing!
  4. Speak endearingly about your spouse.  We were all talking about the the royal couple after their wedding.  What do you say to others about your spouse?   Do you praise him and share the traits that you admire most?
  5. Stay in the same country!  Royal families don’t divide – with one person ruling one country and the other spouse ruling another.  To have a royal marriage, we have to stay on the same track, rather than each spouse doing their own thing.  We must come together for time to grow, talk, share, and make memories.   Without this we will just be like roommates, rather than a Royal married couple!
  6. Talk to the King of Kings about your marriage.  Pray and ask God to give you wisdom as to how to respond to your mate.  He made that man and knows him!  Ask for understanding about how to talk to him.  Ask for God’s protection on his life, his thoughts, and his heart.
  7. Enjoy your castle!  Have fun in your home, no matter how humble it is.  Make it the best place on earth for you both to retreat to and share this life.  Draw up the bridge and let intruders “meet the dragons in the moat” from time to time so you and your spouse can spend uninterrupted time together. Every couple needs some time away – even if it’s just an afternoon or evening.

Perhaps you need to watch the video of your wedding again, if you’re blessed to have one.  If not, look at the photos and remember the day you took the royal title of “Mrs.”  It’s a high calling! Let’s show it and enjoy it!

Refresh your royal marriage!

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