Having a Royal Marriage Without the Royal Wedding That Precedes It

May 25, 2018May 26, 2018 RefreshHerLeave a comment

roy·al

ˈroi(ə)l/

adjective

having the status of a king or queen or a member of their family.

I admit that I am kind of taking liberties with the word royal, but in all reality, if you and your husband are believers in Jesus Christ, you are a royal priesthood. We learn that here –

I Peter 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Because of who we are in Christ, everything about us should show to the world the praise of our God Who saved us. In other words, our marriages should display the Gospel. If we do that, then our relationship with one another will truly be royal.

How can we have a Royal Marriage?

Think of your spouse as royalty. If we were in the presence of a king, would we forget it? Of course not! We should remind ourselves every day that we chose to marry this man! He is our Prince Charming! We must remember what we loved about him in the beginning. If he doesn’t seem quite so charming today, it’s our thoughts that have changed, so we need to change them back. Instead of dwelling on the negative, we must think on the things that we love about our prince!
Keep your eyes on your royal family. When any of the British royalty are out in public, all eyes are on them! We must keep our eyes on only our mate, and not even consider looking at someone else. Keep your vows you made before God. He wants your marriage to succeed even more than you do!
Treat your spouse like royalty. Yes, treat him like a king. Do it as a way to show your love. Be watching and anticipating his needs so you can meet them. Paul reminds us in Philippians 2:3,4 But in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. We’re not going to think of ourselves first – we’ll think of our mate. Doing this is a true blessing!
Speak endearingly about your spouse. We were all talking about the the royal couple after their wedding. What do you say to others about your spouse? Do you praise him and share the traits that you admire most?
Stay in the same country! Royal families don’t divide – with one person ruling one country and the other spouse ruling another. To have a royal marriage, we have to stay on the same track, rather than each spouse doing their own thing. We must come together for time to grow, talk, share, and make memories. Without this we will just be like roommates, rather than a Royal married couple!
Talk to the King of Kings about your marriage. Pray and ask God to give you wisdom as to how to respond to your mate. He made that man and knows him! Ask for understanding about how to talk to him. Ask for God’s protection on his life, his thoughts, and his heart.
Enjoy your castle! Have fun in your home, no matter how humble it is. Make it the best place on earth for you both to retreat to and share this life. Draw up the bridge and let intruders “meet the dragons in the moat” from time to time so you and your spouse can spend uninterrupted time together. Every couple needs some time away – even if it’s just an afternoon or evening.

Perhaps you need to watch the video of your wedding again, if you’re blessed to have one. If not, look at the photos and remember the day you took the royal title of “Mrs.” It’s a high calling! Let’s show it and enjoy it!

Refresh your royal marriage!

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Love · Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Family Friday – Apply the Loving Touch

April 13, 2018April 13, 2018 RefreshHerLeave a comment

Loving touch

We’ve all done it – slammed our finger in a drawer or caused ourselves some sort of pain by a careless act. This morning it happened to me – I was getting ready for the day and I dropped my phone onto the top of my foot. All those little bones in there began screaming for attention and I gave it! I lifted my leg and while hopping on the other foot, Continue reading “Family Friday – Apply the Loving Touch” →

Christian growth · Christian Life · Christian love · Dates · Family life · Husband · Love · Marriage · tongue · Uncategorized

Win the Argument

April 6, 2018April 6, 2018 RefreshHer8 Comments

My husband and I have been arguing again. You know how that goes. It’s over a topic we’ve discussed before – serving one another. The conversation went something like this:

Me – Let me do that for you.

Him – No, I already took care of it, but thank you.

Me – I can never seem to find a way to serve you: you always beat me to it! You do so much more for me than I do you.

Him – Hon, that’s not true! You do so much for me. Goodness, I couldn’t do what I do on a day without you!

Continue reading “Win the Argument” →

Marriage · memories · Refreshment in marriage

Family Friday – Invest in Time Away

February 16, 2018February 16, 2018 RefreshHer4 Comments

This week during our Valentine’s dinner, I pulled out a dating journal that my husband and I kept for quite a few years. We recorded lunch dates, overnighter’s, and weeks away that we were blessed to share during the years our girls were home. Wow! It was filled with special memories we had forgotten. But one thing rang true – we missed our girls while we were away, but those times alone helped shape our relationship. It made us better parents, and it made our marriage stronger.

We literally had to scrape together every dime to go on these outings, but it was so well worth it! I’m thankful we have that journal to remind us of the joy those times away were for us. Some dates were simply a shared ice cream cone, or a picnic lunch at a nearby park. As a matter of fact, most outings were minimized in extravagance, but maximized in enjoyment AND effectiveness! It was always profitable for our relationship.

For any married couple to spend time away together so they might invest in their relationship, will require an investment. That simply means it is costly.

It could require a financial investment. There are lots of things to do that don’t cost, but most overnighters aren’t free.
It will require time – time away from family, away from work and away from all other distractions.
It will require a willingness to get honest with one another so you both can make changes that are necessary.
The sacrifice of your pride is crucial so you can listen to your spouse without thinking about what you want to say.

After 36+ years of marriage, I would have to say that time away from pressures and demands – even for an hour – is time that helped build our marriage. It’s so easy to get on two separate tracks when things are so busy.

May I ask you – are you making a true effort to spend time with your spouse – just the two of you so you might talk in depth, pray together, have times of rest, laugh, strengthen one another in the daily grind, and pour into your marriage so you can both be ready to move forward?

Let me encourage you, if you’re wanting to share these times but your husband is reluctant, plan a short outing. Do something you know HE would love. Keep it lighthearted and encouraging. Pour into him. Bless him with what he needs. Pray about it, asking the Lord to make your time special. Keep doing these little outings and work your way into a weekend away. Allow the Lord to move in his heart.

God has a plan for your marriage and you can trust Him to make it what it needs to be. But again, time with just the two of your is one important ingredient. Even though there are no longer children in our home, my husband and I have to get away to really have time to talk and share uninterrupted. We still need it. We still love it!

Let me end by sharing some photos of the weekend Sweetheart Retreat my husband spoke at last weekend at The Wilds. It was a wonderful blessing to our hearts to gather with 80 couples and pour into their lives for two days! If you’ve never experienced a couples’ retreat at The Wilds, you don’t know what you’re missing! These pictures will give you an idea of the fun we shared!

Fun Time is always full of the good medicine of laughter!!

More old friends that blessed our time there!

Valentine’s day is behind us, but you live in your marriage every single day. Make the most of it by making investments that will benefit your relationship for years to come!

Refresh your marriage – Why not start planning now for an outing?

Who attends couples’ retreats? Where do you go?

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communication · Marriage

Family Friday – How To Keep Your Marriage Plugged-In

February 9, 2018February 9, 2018 RefreshHer8 Comments

Plug in a

It happens often – a guest walks into our house and then says,

“Your house always smells so good!”

It always makes me happy to hear that because I want my house to smell good! There are some routines I do to help accomplish this, but I think the thing that contributes most to the pleasant aroma is that I have these Yankee Plug-in’s all over the house.

Plug in

I love them! Some have lights and are a little fancier than others that have just the fragrance refill behind a decorative plug, but they all smell really good!

I have a sweet friend who works for Yankee Candle Company who keeps me stocked up in my favorite scents. She also keeps me from using fragrances that won’t mix well together. Combining Vanilla with a Lilac might not be the best! The candle company calls this, Fragrance layering. It’s adding just the right combinations to create a pleasant aroma. I am blessed to have a friend who does the “mixing” perfectly! I keep a check on the fragrance bottles so I know when the aroma is getting ready to disappear. I want that fragrance to continue!

Last week when another guest mentioned how good our house smelled, the Lord brought to my mind that a happy marriage also has a wonderful aroma! It’s noticeable to others, and it happens in the same way that my house smells good – we must stay plugged-in! Oh, not to the wall outlet, but plugged-into one another, which just means, closely connected; in touch with what is going on; informed; involved. Easier said than done with today’s “crazy-busy” schedules, right? It may seem difficult, but let me give you a few ways that you and your spouse can stay plugged in!

At the beginning of the day, share with your spouse what your days holds and ask about his day.
1. Are there burdens on your heart that he could pray for while you’re apart?
2. Where will you be going?
3. How long will you be gone?
4. With whom will you spend your day (or appointment?)
5. Is there a decision that needs to be discussed before you leave – perhaps about finances or what an upcoming event?
6. Never part without saying, “I love you” and giving a kiss.
During the day, let him know if anything changes in your plans. Call or text to keep him informed.
1. Will you be late?
2. Are you going somewhere else?
3. Did something unexpected come up?
4. Don’t just text about obligatory things! You can flirt with him in your text – he’s your husband!
  One day last week when I was in the store I saw a Valentine that was perfect for him, but I already had one to give him. I took a picture of the front of it and sent it via a text!
At the end of the day, ask questions about his day – the demands he had on him, the appointment, the problem, the blessings that occurred. Be ready to share your day, if he asks. If he doesn’t, realize that it’s all about timing. Be patient.
Routinely, add other means of care and communication. You might call this the fragrance “layering.” It’s when you add more than one action or response to demonstrate your interest in his life.
1. Drop a card in the mail and send it to his work, if possible. If not, leave it for him – in his dresser, closet, Bible, or by his coffee cup. Let him know in the card that you care deeply about the things that touch his life.
2. Keep your calendars in sync. Whether you do it electronically or on a paper calendar, have a place where both of you know what is coming up in the future. for example, vacation schedules, work trips, medical appointments, etc.
3. Communicate all financial decisions. You are a team. Never make a purchase and hide it until later. Be up-front and transparent.
4. Praying together daily helps to share what’s really on your hearts. If he doesn’t initiate it, sweetly ask if you could pray together. If he says, no, just pray the Lord will move in his heart in the days ahead. For the time being, regularly ask how you might pray for him.
5. Be affectionate and loving.
6. Look him in the eyes when he’s speaking.
7. Touch him – hold hands, rub his back, put your arm through his when you’re walking. Touch communicates!
8. Share with him the things you are learning in God’s Word and how it is changing you.
9. When you are able to accompany your husband on an outing, an extra activity he has to do, or a fun venture he’s excited about, like a ballgame or hike (did I just say that?!) go!

I’m pretty sure we all want our marriages to “smell wonderful” because we’re plugged-in to our spouse! Maybe today is a good day to check the bottle to see if you need to add a refill!

In what way do you purposefully stay plugged-in to your spouse?

My husband and I are headed to The Wilds today where he will be the speaker for the Sweetheart Overnight Retreat. Pray for us, would you? Thank you in advance!

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