When Your Marriage Feels Like a Roller Coaster

June 14, 2017June 13, 2017 RefreshHerLeave a comment

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No one wants to be forced to ride a roller coaster – especially when it’s an emotional one caused by stress in marriage. But, if we’re honest, we’ve all been there at one time or another. We feel like life is spinning and twisting out of control and all we can do is hang on and hope for a safe and eventual landing.

That Marriage Roller Coaster ride can also make you feel helpless, alone, and desperate. In the middle of a marital crisis, you can “feel” like you will never be happy again, that there’s no hope for your relationship, or that it would just be better if your marriage was over. These can all be dangerous emotions/actions, if not handled biblically.

How about if we just stop together and get a biblical perspective for those kinds of days?

Realize that your spouse is not your enemy. Satan is the one attacking your home. But the biblical perspective is, “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.” (I John 4:4) God is stronger and greater. He can get you past this hurdle, and that’s all it is – a hurdle. The good news is that hurdles are meant for jumping over!
Struggles are not a sign that your marriage is done. Jesus told us, “In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer – I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 Since He has overcome, so can we! When two sinners live together, there’s bound to be difficulty at times. Add to the mix, children, who are also sinners, and you can have a house full of struggles! But, as in the roller coaster analogy, you don’t just jump off when you’re climbing the steepest incline of the ride! You sit tight, hold on (to the Lord and one another!), close your eyes (in prayer), and do the next right thing. Soon you’ll be pulling into the very place the ride started, renewed in your love and softer and gentler with one another.
Ending the marriage is not God’s answer to the struggle. Seek for restoration. Humble yourself and do what is necessary to obey Romans 12:18. Sincerely ask the Lord to show you if you are in the wrong. Seek the biblical advice of a godly friend who will love you enough to be honest with you and tell you what you need to hear – not what they know you want to hear. Lovingly talk to your spouse, when the time is right. Share your heart. Ask if you can get down on your knees and pray together. It’s pretty impossible to pray as a couple and stay angry. Again, humility is necessary on your part! You can’t change him, but with God’s help, you sure can change the girl in your shoes!
Believe the truth that the best is yet to be. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that God has a plan to give us a hope and a future, and that includes your marriage! You can both learn from this experience and enjoy greater days in the future, because of the restoration and reconciliation that has taken place.

Proverbs 24:10

If thou faint in the day of adversity,

thy strength is small.

Let the Lord be your strength, and climb down off that roller coaster, straighten your wind-blown hair, and don’t faint! Believe the biblical truth and press on for God’s honor!

Lovingly,

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Christian love · Family life · home · Husband · joy · Love · Marriage · refreshment at home · Refreshment in marriage

Make More Deposits

June 13, 2017June 13, 2017 RefreshHer2 Comments

While waiting in line at the bank, a man developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller’s window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took the man’s check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account.

After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.”Why not?” the man asked incredulously.

”I’m sorry, sir,” she replied, ” but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact,” she continued, “our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000.””It can’t be!” he cried. “You have to be kidding!” “Yes, I am,” she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. “But you will notice that your hiccups are gone.”

Probably most of us know the sinking feeling to know of one time or another when there weren’t sufficient funds in the bank to cover our withdrawals. It makes for a rough day, doesn’t it?

While we are ever so careful to guard our bank account from being over drawn, I wonder what the records would show on the monthly statement of our marriage? How many withdrawals have you made? Wives need love, affection, attention, compliments, encouragement, dates, pampering, help around the house, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on… Each one of those represent a withdrawal from our marriage account.

We can also make withdrawals by nagging, belittling, giving a cold shoulder, being unforgiving, negligent to his needs, etc.

Now, think back on this past week – what kind of deposits have you made? Not the monetary kind – but the relational kind.

Have you shown respect for your husband with your words?
Have you elevated him in front of others?
Have you thanked him for being a provider for your family?
Have you done a thoughtful gesture for him? (Bought his favorite candy bar, written him a note, made his favorite meal, took him out on a special date or created one at home- you get the idea)
Have you spent time doing something he enjoys even though it might not be your favorite activity?
Have you done something to lighten his load?

These things (and many others) are ways we make deposits into our marriage. There’s a double blessing here – we’re meeting the needs of our husband and rediscovering what a joy it is to be married. It’s fun! It is God’s plan and He can only do what is good!

Take a thorough check into your “account” and make sure you’re not overdrawn! If it’s been a while since you’ve put something into your marriage, you might surprise your husband so much you’ll scare his hiccups away!

Refresh you marriage today!!

Come back the rest of this week for more marriage posts that will encourage you to make your relationship the best it can be!

With love,

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baking · dessert · home · Home making

(L)Oven Monday – Strawberry Shortcakes & Menu Inspiration

June 12, 2017June 11, 2017 RefreshHer7 Comments

Happy Monday, friends! I had a great time Friday night sitting out on my back porch with a stack of food magazines and iced coffee. Most of the periodicals had been given to me by others who had looked through them, then passed them along. How sweet! Why do I flip through food magazines? Or why do I sit with one of my cookbooks and put page markers in the pages? Not just to “Oooo” or “Ahhh” over the pictures (though I do that!). I do it for three reasons:

I get tired of eating the same things
I like to try stirring new things up in my kitchen!
I like to surprise my husband with special recipes I’ve made for him!

I sat there for about a half an hour and ripped out recipes I want to try.

How about you = are you in a menu rut? Spaghetti, frozen pizza, chicken tenders from the freezer section, steamed veggies in a bag…it just gets old. I would challenge you to pull out either the magazines that have been delivered to your mailbox or one of your favorite cookbooks. You can even go to the library and check out a cookbook from there to get some fresh ideas. The point is, flip through and find recipes of menu items that you maybe already have most of the ingredients for. If you know you purchased chicken breasts and they’re in the freezer waiting to be cooked, look for a recipe for chicken! You might only try one new recipe this week, but add something to change up your normal routine.

Here are some of the recipes I found:

A supper Entree’ – Chicken breasts with Strawberry Salsa and Feta cheese – I have all the ingredients!
A fish recipe – Salt and Vinegar Baked Fish – You use the Salt and Vinegar chips as the coating! That’s brilliant! Similar to this
A weekend breakfast – Sausage and Egg Flatbreads – I’m going to make my own .
flatbreads for this.
A dessert – Strawberry Icebox Cake – This will be great for company this summer! Similar to this one.

I won’t make all these this week, but I will try at least one! It’s amazing how much money and time is saved when you make a menu. It is so helpful to me to know what’s for supper, so I can plan and work ahead.

So, if you’re not in the habit of making a menu, plan at least few nights for starters. If you’ve been making a menu, but you’re in a rut, go find some new, yummy sounding recipes to add!

Now let me share a recipe that I love. This is a quick and delicious Strawberry Shortcake, made a little lighter. These sweet biscuits are so much better than the store bought sponge cakes! The addition of the orange juice and vanilla to the fresh berries makes it SO good!

Lite Strawberry Shortcakes

Ingredients

3 1/2 cups halved strawberries, divided
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup orange juice
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons chilled stick margarine or butter, cut into small pieces
1/2 cup low-fat buttermilk
Cooking spray
6 tablespoons frozen reduced-calorie whipped topping, thawed
Whole strawberries (optional)

1. Combine 1 cup strawberry halves, 1/3 cup sugar, orange juice, vanilla, and lemon juice in a bowl, and mash with a potato masher. Stir in 2 1/2 cups strawberry halves. Cover and chill.
2. Preheat oven to 425°.
  
  Lightly spoon flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour, 3 tablespoons sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a bowl; cut in margarine with a pastry blender or 2 knives until mixture resembles coarse meal. Add buttermilk, stirring just until moist (dough will be sticky).
3. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead lightly 4 times with floured hands. Pat dough into a 6 x 4-inch rectangle. Cut dough into 6 squares. Place 1 inch apart on a baking sheet coated with cooking spray. Bake at 425° for 12 minutes. Cool on a wire rack.
  
  Split shortcakes in half horizontally using a serrated knife; place each bottom half on a dessert plate. Spoon 1/4 cup strawberry mixture over each bottom half. Top with shortcake tops; spoon 1/4 cup strawberry mixture over each top. Top each serving with 1 tablespoon whipped topping; garnish with whole strawberries, if desired.
  
  This dessert is as delicious as it is pretty!

I hope you’ll add this to your menu and also find some other great recipes to freshen up mealtime at your house this week!

Refresh your menu!

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Family life · home · Husband · joy · Love · Marriage · memories · refreshment at home

Summer Date Night Ideas

June 9, 2017June 8, 2017 RefreshHer2 Comments

backyard night1

One day last week, my husband was cleaning out some of his office boxes that had been stored away in our garage when he came across a stack of preserved letters, notes and cards, most of them written by “Yours truly.” We began reading them and found ourselves laughing, crying, and rejoicing over the years, the experiences we’ve shared, and the goodness of the Lord in it all.

It became so obvious to me that the written note is so important! Without that, how would we recall these precious memories? How would we have remembered how awed we were by God’s provision, or how near the Lord was during that trial?

Since that afternoon, I’ve determined that I must
a.) Continue writing notes. Texts are great, but in ten years, how will we be able to reread that form of media?
b.) Read through the stack I have tucked away from the 36 years behind us!

Now, here are 30 great Summer Date Night ideas!

My first encouragement to you about a summer date night is to make a time when you and your spouse can sit down and read through some of your cards and letters you’ve saved. Go out on your back porch to read them, or take them to the lake where you can sit at a picnic table. Just do it. It will remind you where you’ve come from and how special your relationship really is! I fell in love with my husband all over again!
You don’t have any notes? Sit down and write your husband one today and leave it in a special place where he’ll find it. Write it on pretty paper. Spray a little perfume on it. Then tuck it away so you can start that file you’ll be able to read again when you’re old and gray.
Make your own Drive-In. Make the setting outside your home perfect for watching a movie or show on your laptop or tablet. Turn on the patio lights, light candles, get a bowl of popcorn popped and a comfy swing to share!
Bookstore Date– I first shared about this here ,and no matter if you have done it before, this date can be done over and over again and it will be new each time. It’s one of our favorites!
Read your favorite books to one another – or find a new one to read!
Bake cookies together
Watch the sunrise, then make breakfast together
Attend a local baseball game
Go for a long drive
Have a picnic
Play Frisbee
Visit the farmer’s market
Video Record the Story of How You Met & Fell in Love
Cook a Late Night Dinner Together
Write a Prayer List & Pray Together
Make Smoothies or Milkshakes
Share 5 Goals Over a Late Night Snack
Do a Puzzle Together
Play a Game
Have a Chip & Dip Night – Add Conversation
Record Each Other Sharing a Recent Memory
Tackle a FUN Project
Write a Gratitude List about one another
Have an Ice Cream Sundae Night
Search for Funny YouTube Videos
Go to Yard Sales and see who can find the best bargain
Go to the Local Bike Trail and ride bikes.
Enjoy an Outdoor Concert
Begin a Date Night Journal and Write down each time you have a date, what you did and any fun memories you created.
Go to a Theme Park Without your children and leave your phones in the car. Ride all the water rides. Eat the snacks. See the shows. Stay late for the fireworks!

I hope you’ve had a great first week of June, and I hope some of the ideas shared this week will inspire you to create some fun at home this summer! Each day is a gift from God and is worth celebrating! So enjoy!!

Stay refreshed in God’s Word this weekend. We need Him every single day!

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Uncategorized

Summer Fun Series (Day Three)

June 8, 2017June 1, 2023 RefreshHerLeave a comment

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Summer Help for Moms

When I went to Walmart this week it dawned on me very quickly that school is out for some children and will be coming for others in the near future. How did I know? Mothers in the aisle of the stores already had that pinched look on their faces. I could hear frustration in their voices as they repeated what they’d already said to their children more than once since arriving in the store. I heard –

“I don’t have money for that.” “I’ll buy you a little toy if you’re good.” “Get out of the middle of the aisle where people are trying to push their carts.” “You’re not thinking!”

For some moms summer break means having the children under foot for three months – and that is thought enough to curl their hair without the aid of any iron or rollers! Having a plan in place will help make the summer months one to enjoy instead of dread. Here are a ideas for summer activity that will give your children and you some special times together:

Coin Adventure

Turn an ordinary neighborhood walk into an extraordinary adventure. Pick a time when you have nice weather and a bit of time to spend. As you and your child step out the front door, flip a coin. If its tails turn left. If its heads turn right. Continue this at every corner. You never know where you’ll end up! This is a great opportunity to giggle with your kids and enjoy some chatting.

Be Prepared

Fill a large laundry basket with a good playground ball, a jump rope, and roller skates, hula hoop and some side walk chalk. Fun times are waiting with these items!

Slide Test Drive

This simple activity will keep a child busy for quite awhile! If you have a swing set with a slide in your back yard.Place a bucket or dish pan at the bottom of the slide. Have your child place a toy car at the top of the slide and see if it will roll into the bucket. Ask him /her which cars were successful, which one failed and why they think that was the case.

Scavenger Hunt

Have a hunt with your kids or help plan one for the neighborhood gang.
You’ll Need:
A list of common house hold objects that you know you have. Each team or child will receive a list and a bag for the items (make the lists before gathering the kids).The lists can contain anything: A dandelion, rock, Pill bug, worm, leaf, ball, roller blade…Pre-readers will need pictures. The object of the game is to be the first team to find and retrieve all of the objects on the list. Play inside or outdoors.

Refrigerator Box House

No tree for a tree house?Just go to your local appliance center and ask if they can spare a LARGE box. Let your children design there “fort” and you can cut the doors & windows with a utility knife.Paint and decorate the outside using poster paints and sponges or brushes. Fabric scraps and a stapler can be used for curtains. If kept under cover this retreat will last all summer. Don’t for get the “keep out” sign.

Tent Time

Kids love to play in their own tent space. You can do it without the hassle of pitching a tent.Use a plastic tarp over the clothesline with stakes at the corners. Cover the floor with a blanket or sheet.Provide a picnic lunch, board games and other activities for the little campers. Using this instead of a real tent will prevent damaging the lawn. Kids can use it all summer long for a relief from the sun.

Special Treats

If there’s an ice cream truck that rolls through your neighborhood and causes whining among your brood because there’s not money for it, purchase some special treats ahead of time (they’re much cheaper at the store!). When the truck comes into your neighborhood pull out your affordable treats. You and your children could even make the treats – ice cream sandwiches with your homemade chocolate chip or peanut butter cookies would be super good!

Homemade Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Sandwiches are a Summertime staple!:

Bible Time

Why not host a Bible club in your backyard? It doesn’t have to be a huge organized thing. Invite the neighborhood children (and their moms), have a Bible story, songs, maybe a craft and a little snack. Who knows what impact this could have in your neighborhood? While giving the children the Gospel, you’re also providing a break for those moms for an hour – they’re bound to appreciate that!

I hope you’ve enjoy these three days of Summer fun!

Come back tomorrow for Couples’ Summer Date Night ideas!

I LOVE summer! Hope yours is a great one!

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