Family Friday – My Favorite Summertime Dates

May 11, 2018May 11, 2018 RefreshHer2 Comments

The sand drawing above is an annual event that my husband started doing years ago when we first started taking vacations to the beach. He draws our initials in the sand, dates it, draws a heart around it and then we get a picture. It always makes a memory and I think it also speaks to other people, too. As a matter of fact, when this one was taken, several people, including a child, walked towards it, then nearly stumbled when they saw the drawing, not wanting to trample through it. Of course it would have been fine, but it was like they felt were desecrating soemthing sacred and they wanted to help us preserve it. But I wonder, do we as couples trample over and desecrate our marriage relationship by not stopping to consider what we need to do to preserve it?

Right at the top of that list is making sure that we spend time together…we continue to date our spouse. There are lots of fun things to do on dates in the summertime, and many of them cost very little! Here are some of our favorites:

Drives. Whether we drive through the country, or an ocean city while on vacation, we love to drive through subdivisions or streets and look at homes and landscaping. We turn on some music, roll down the windows and drive slowly. It’s fun to see what others have done to their homes and also dream about what we might do because of ideas gleaned on our drive.
Back porch dates – Those cool patio lights make the perfect setting for a movie on your laptop or tablet out there, accompanied by popcorn or a treat!
Backyard dates – We pull out the croquet, badminton or other yard game and enjoy some friendly competition.
Bike rides – So many places offer great trails. Sometimes we even pack a picnic lunch and enjoy the ride and lunch along the path!
Ice Cream Dates – The only thing we ever order from McDonald’s is their soft serve ice cream. We also love Chick-fil-A’s cones. Often we’ll buy a half gallon when it’s marked down, and enjoy a cone outside on the swing.
Yard sales – We like to make a mental list of things we’ll look for – a piece of furniture for the patio, books, or antiques for decorating. We load up on quarters and $1 bills and head out, newspaper in hand and scavange for the best deals on those items.

Don’t trample over your marriage this summer; make time to create favorite dates and times with your spouse!

Do you and your spouse have any traditions like our drawing in the sand that you do? What fun plans are you making for this summer?

Refresh your marriage,

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Love · Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role

Family Friday – Apply the Loving Touch

April 13, 2018April 13, 2018 RefreshHerLeave a comment

Loving touch

We’ve all done it – slammed our finger in a drawer or caused ourselves some sort of pain by a careless act. This morning it happened to me – I was getting ready for the day and I dropped my phone onto the top of my foot. All those little bones in there began screaming for attention and I gave it! I lifted my leg and while hopping on the other foot, Continue reading “Family Friday – Apply the Loving Touch” →

Marriage · memories · Refreshment in marriage

Family Friday – Invest in Time Away

February 16, 2018February 16, 2018 RefreshHer4 Comments

This week during our Valentine’s dinner, I pulled out a dating journal that my husband and I kept for quite a few years. We recorded lunch dates, overnighter’s, and weeks away that we were blessed to share during the years our girls were home. Wow! It was filled with special memories we had forgotten. But one thing rang true – we missed our girls while we were away, but those times alone helped shape our relationship. It made us better parents, and it made our marriage stronger.

We literally had to scrape together every dime to go on these outings, but it was so well worth it! I’m thankful we have that journal to remind us of the joy those times away were for us. Some dates were simply a shared ice cream cone, or a picnic lunch at a nearby park. As a matter of fact, most outings were minimized in extravagance, but maximized in enjoyment AND effectiveness! It was always profitable for our relationship.

For any married couple to spend time away together so they might invest in their relationship, will require an investment. That simply means it is costly.

It could require a financial investment. There are lots of things to do that don’t cost, but most overnighters aren’t free.
It will require time – time away from family, away from work and away from all other distractions.
It will require a willingness to get honest with one another so you both can make changes that are necessary.
The sacrifice of your pride is crucial so you can listen to your spouse without thinking about what you want to say.

After 36+ years of marriage, I would have to say that time away from pressures and demands – even for an hour – is time that helped build our marriage. It’s so easy to get on two separate tracks when things are so busy.

May I ask you – are you making a true effort to spend time with your spouse – just the two of you so you might talk in depth, pray together, have times of rest, laugh, strengthen one another in the daily grind, and pour into your marriage so you can both be ready to move forward?

Let me encourage you, if you’re wanting to share these times but your husband is reluctant, plan a short outing. Do something you know HE would love. Keep it lighthearted and encouraging. Pour into him. Bless him with what he needs. Pray about it, asking the Lord to make your time special. Keep doing these little outings and work your way into a weekend away. Allow the Lord to move in his heart.

God has a plan for your marriage and you can trust Him to make it what it needs to be. But again, time with just the two of your is one important ingredient. Even though there are no longer children in our home, my husband and I have to get away to really have time to talk and share uninterrupted. We still need it. We still love it!

Let me end by sharing some photos of the weekend Sweetheart Retreat my husband spoke at last weekend at The Wilds. It was a wonderful blessing to our hearts to gather with 80 couples and pour into their lives for two days! If you’ve never experienced a couples’ retreat at The Wilds, you don’t know what you’re missing! These pictures will give you an idea of the fun we shared!

Fun Time is always full of the good medicine of laughter!!

More old friends that blessed our time there!

Valentine’s day is behind us, but you live in your marriage every single day. Make the most of it by making investments that will benefit your relationship for years to come!

Refresh your marriage – Why not start planning now for an outing?

Who attends couples’ retreats? Where do you go?

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Dates · Marriage · Refreshment in marriage · Uncategorized

Taking the Guess-Work Out of Date Night

November 17, 2017November 17, 2017 RefreshHer2 Comments

Date night.jpg

Who doesn’t love a fun date night? Getting dressed up, going somewhere fun and spending time together is a great way to recharge your marriage. But there can to be two problems when a man and woman are going to go out for a date:

They always go to the same place because they can’t think of something new.
They’re afraid to say what they really want to do, or they can’t make up their mind, so they go back and forth with, “Where do you want to go?” “I don’t care, you decide!”

Does this sound familiar?

I have a couple suggestions for you that will alleviate both of those issues:

Resolution #1. – Either Google “New restaurants (or stores, etc) in our area”, or use another kind of guide with that information to find new possibilities, like your newspaper.

It’s easy to fall into a rut! You go to your favorite restaurant, get dinner and call it a night. But with the world around us growing as it is, there’s no need for that to happen. In our city and I’m sure in most areas of the world, new businesses, walking/biking paths, books stores, and restaurants are popping up every year, giving opportunities for new adventures.

Recently our local newspaper published their 2017 Reader’s Choice Awards. In it are Restaurants with the best french fries, Asian foods, barbecue ribs, pies, doughnuts, desserts, coffee, Stores including gift stores, department stores and book stores. It goes on and on, listing the best of all kinds of fun places to shop, eat, be entertained or pampered. I couldn’t believe how many places were recommended that I’d never even heard of! I am writing those places into a book of date idea places. The next time we want to “try something different,” we’ll simply open the book and make a new choice!

You could also write the names of the places you want to try on Popsicle sticks and put them in a jar. Draw one out and do it when Date Night rolls around.

I love this idea of color-coding so you can make a more careful choice regarding price range or planning ahead.

125 colored popsicle sticks-$5. Mason jar-$4. 100 date ideas!

Resolution to #2. – Take turns deciding. When it comes down to making the choice of which place you should go, do this – He chooses this week, you choose the next. It takes the pressure off trying to be sure he likes the place, and vice versa. This way, you both get the chance to decide and if it’s not the best, well, next week they can make the choice!

Don’t allow boredom or indecision to ruin your date night! Mix it up a little and make the most of the time you take to share a special evening together!

Refresh your marriage!

Denise Signature 150 px

Books · Discipleship · Encouragement · Family life · Marriage · mentoring ministry · Parenting · Refreshment in marriage · Wife's Role · womanhood

Books On My Tables

September 8, 2017September 8, 2017 RefreshHer4 Comments

A wonderful book is a treasure. I love to read, and I’m always on the search for a new author or title to check out. While there have been years when I was busy with homeschool that I didn’t get to read as much as I wanted, I pretty much always have a “book going.”

It only seems fair to share my treasures with you! So today I’m sharing three books that are sitting on my coffee tables that I’m currently reading and LOVING! They’re different enough that I can read all three at the same time.

Adorned – This is one of those books that every woman needs to read – and then reread at least every other year. Titus 2 is the backdrop for all the teaching and instruction found here. It’s practical, convicting, helpful and challenging. She addresses both the older and younger women and ends each chapter with a list of questions for each. My copy is covered in yellow highlights to help me remember these essential truths for my life as a woman who loves and desires to live for God.

For my girls’ birthdays this year, I gave them each two copies – one for themselves, and one to give to an older woman they could ask to go through it with them. This book is best when shared with at least one friend. Do your spiritual life and your female side a favor and read this!

The Most Important Place on Earth – This book about the home was written by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth’s husband years before they were ever married. His first wife died of cancer, and he and Nancy married nearly two years ago. Robert is an excellent, compelling writer. I have laughed out loud as he shared many tales from his own home life. He wisely shares the ingredients needed to make our homes the most important place on the earth.

I got my copy from Amazon for less than a dollar. There are updated versions that have a cover that’s current to today, but the message is one that will be relevant for all time. I highly recommend this book, and am thankful that my sis recommended it to me! Thanks, Dianne!

The Cave, The Cabin and The Tattoo Man – This book also came from my sister, who has met the author, Tim Callahan, from Kentucky. To read the title you might be surprised that I’m reading it, but the story is precious. It’s a fiction book based on the author’s growing up years, which happen to be the same era in which I grew up. Hence, the illustrations and pictures he paints take me back to my own childhood days.

This is the story of a little boy who stays with his grandparents during the summer months. He helps them with the little grocery store they owned. He fishes in their pond so well that he is the envy of all the grown men, and he gets himself into precarious situations during his free hours.

When I need a book to just take me away on a little vacation, this is the one I’m reading…for the second time. This is a series, too, which is fun. I love knowing there is one to follow!

I hope you’ll check into reading at least one of these suggestions. They’re all worthy of your time, and in my opinion, much better value than anything television has to offer! Autumn is nearly upon us, and aren’t fall and winter the best times to snuggle in somewhere comfy with a cup of coffee and read a compelling book?!

Do you have a treasured book you’re reading? Please share in the comments! I’ll need some new titles soon!