Ten Choices That Will Help Get Your Marriage to the Finish Line

June 16, 2017June 16, 2017 RefreshHer1 Comment

0427170702a Happy Friday y’all! I’m here today with a brand new post as we finish out this week talking about marriage. So far this week we’ve discussed roller coaster days, making more deposits in your relationship than withdrawals, and the high cost of foolish choices. Today I want to talk about wise choices and how they will effect your home.

Many women were so very grieved this week to hear of a well-loved Bible teacher announcing her divorce to her husband. Serious infidelity and substance abuse got a grip in her husband’s life, bringing their marriage to an end. I don’t know all the details, of course, but it has impacted the world with its sad ending. I’m afraid that some women will hear that, and then feel helpless themselves.

“If her marriage is falling apart, and she’s a famous Bible teacher, how can I ever hope to have a happy marriage?

When you consider the trials, the disagreements, the financial woes, the verbal misunderstandings, the pride, the emotions, the daily pressures, and the parenting conflicts, it’s a miracle that any marriage survives, but it can!

But how? I believe with all my heart it’s through the presence of the Lord and His guidance, His example of love, and the counsel of His Word that allows a Christian couple to remain together for a lifetime.

Satan wants to destroy our homes, but God is greater, friends! I’d like to share with you some choices we have to make to see our marriage to the Finish Line.

Stay on your knees in prayer for your mate and your marriage. Think about it – if you’re not praying for your husband, who is? Pray for ~
- His heart for God
- His purity
- His protection from Satan’s attacks
- A tender heart to sin
- A fear of God
- A desire for God’s house
- His leadership in your home – Note: Talk to the Lord about this – not him!
Keep the fun in your relationship. Don’t stop laughing, flirting, dancing in the grocery store aisle, or any of the things that made you smile when you were dating!
As your children grow up, release more and more of that attention they were getting and lavish it on your husband! A wife who makes her children the center of her attention even after they’re able to care for themselves is pushing her husband out of her life, and that is a dangerous action.
- Send the child back to their bed.
- Put them on a schedule and spend time with your husband.
- Leave them with a caregiver and go on dates.
- Be excited about your empty nest rather than crying on Facebook about how you miss your little boys! I know I’m stepping out on a limb on that one, but I love you, ladies, and someone needs to tell you to build a bridge and get over it.
- Don’t make your children the center of your world – make your husband the center. Doing so will give your children the security of parents who love each other and are going to stay together forever.
Keep the tenderness in your relationship.
- Use tender words, rather than angry, cross ones.
  - Make sure your conversation is more than about who’s picking up the gallon of milk.
- Use tender touches. Hold hands. Kiss goodbye and hello. You never know when that might be your last kiss. We’re not promised tomorrow!
Be first. To forgive. To serve. To love.
Be thoughtful. Pick up his favorite treat. Make a nourishing breakfast before he leaves. Ask what he would like for supper. Ask if there’s an errand you can do for him, or a way to lighten his load.
Do what he enjoys doing on his day off. I”m not much of a hiker, but I think my husband’s favorite date in recent years was a January birthday hike I planned, complete with a picnic lunch of homemade soup in Mason jars.. It was freezing cold and snowy., but we had so much fun!
Make plans for the days ahead. Doing so says, “I’m planning on spending all my life with you, and it’s going to be wonderful! What do you want to be like as you age? What trips could you dream about? What goals could you write down and look forward to as your lives change in the years ahead?
Don’t allow yourself to make excuses as to why you prefer to be slouchy at home. It is possible to be comfortable and look great for your husband. I’ve seen one too many videos of wives saying, “Yeah, my hair looks awful; I haven’t washed it in a week.” Really? Shampoo is cheap, and it doesn’t really take that long to get your hair cleaned. Men are visual – give him something great to look at!
Make a play list of all the love songs you listened to while dating. Let your hearts spin along with the music and remember where it all started between you both!

Because there is a God in heaven, there is hope for our marriages. Don’t let yourself feel in despair or like there is no chance that your marriage can be awesome! Which of these suggestions do you need to start on? Ask God to help you and see what a difference it can make in your home!

Refresh your marriage!

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Christian love · Family life · friends · home · Husband · joy · Love · Marriage · obedience · Refreshment in marriage · Women's roles

Foolish Choices that Could Destroy Your Marriage

June 15, 2017June 14, 2017 RefreshHer4 Comments

Someone told me recently that they had enjoyed reading my blog until they began reading my posts about The Foolish Woman! They were teasing, but the implication was that it’s not always easy to read things that hit home and bring conviction. I trust that you will read on anyway, and consider the description of the foolish woman from Proverbs 7.

Proverbs 7:6-10 reads, “For at the window of my house I looked through my casement. And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, passing through the street near her (the foolish woman’s) corner, and he went the way to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot and subtil of heart.”

I see here that another foolish characteristic of this woman is the choices she makes. She’s going out in the evening when it is dark outside. This is a romantic setting and she is setting herself and this foolish man up for a huge fall by being out at this time of night. She has no concern how this might look to others who might see her standing on the street alone with this man.

What a warning this must be to us! We have to let our mind run ahead to look out for situations that could put our testimony at jeopardy. Some potential danger zones would be:

Having a man in your home when you are there alone.
Listening to a man tell you about his marriage problems or you talking to him about yours.
Sending private emails to men (Why not send a carbon copy to his wife?).
Having chats with men on the Internet.
Riding alone in the car with a man.

Some may say, “My goodness! Are you suspicious of everyone?” No, but we need to make good, wise choices before we are in a situation that destroys our testimony and possibly our marriage. What seems harmless could lead to other things.

If we guard our hearts and are also thoughtful enough to protect the men around us, we will know that our choices will label us as wise instead of foolish.

Were any of these surprising to you?

Make wise choices and guard your marriage.

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Christian love · Family life · home · Husband · joy · Love · Marriage · refreshment at home · Refreshment in marriage

Make More Deposits

June 13, 2017June 13, 2017 RefreshHer2 Comments

While waiting in line at the bank, a man developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller’s window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took the man’s check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account.

After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.”Why not?” the man asked incredulously.

”I’m sorry, sir,” she replied, ” but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact,” she continued, “our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000.””It can’t be!” he cried. “You have to be kidding!” “Yes, I am,” she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. “But you will notice that your hiccups are gone.”

Probably most of us know the sinking feeling to know of one time or another when there weren’t sufficient funds in the bank to cover our withdrawals. It makes for a rough day, doesn’t it?

While we are ever so careful to guard our bank account from being over drawn, I wonder what the records would show on the monthly statement of our marriage? How many withdrawals have you made? Wives need love, affection, attention, compliments, encouragement, dates, pampering, help around the house, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on… Each one of those represent a withdrawal from our marriage account.

We can also make withdrawals by nagging, belittling, giving a cold shoulder, being unforgiving, negligent to his needs, etc.

Now, think back on this past week – what kind of deposits have you made? Not the monetary kind – but the relational kind.

Have you shown respect for your husband with your words?
Have you elevated him in front of others?
Have you thanked him for being a provider for your family?
Have you done a thoughtful gesture for him? (Bought his favorite candy bar, written him a note, made his favorite meal, took him out on a special date or created one at home- you get the idea)
Have you spent time doing something he enjoys even though it might not be your favorite activity?
Have you done something to lighten his load?

These things (and many others) are ways we make deposits into our marriage. There’s a double blessing here – we’re meeting the needs of our husband and rediscovering what a joy it is to be married. It’s fun! It is God’s plan and He can only do what is good!

Take a thorough check into your “account” and make sure you’re not overdrawn! If it’s been a while since you’ve put something into your marriage, you might surprise your husband so much you’ll scare his hiccups away!

Refresh you marriage today!!

Come back the rest of this week for more marriage posts that will encourage you to make your relationship the best it can be!

With love,

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Family life · home · Husband · joy · Love · Marriage · memories · refreshment at home

Summer Date Night Ideas

June 9, 2017June 8, 2017 RefreshHer2 Comments

backyard night1

One day last week, my husband was cleaning out some of his office boxes that had been stored away in our garage when he came across a stack of preserved letters, notes and cards, most of them written by “Yours truly.” We began reading them and found ourselves laughing, crying, and rejoicing over the years, the experiences we’ve shared, and the goodness of the Lord in it all.

It became so obvious to me that the written note is so important! Without that, how would we recall these precious memories? How would we have remembered how awed we were by God’s provision, or how near the Lord was during that trial?

Since that afternoon, I’ve determined that I must
a.) Continue writing notes. Texts are great, but in ten years, how will we be able to reread that form of media?
b.) Read through the stack I have tucked away from the 36 years behind us!

Now, here are 30 great Summer Date Night ideas!

My first encouragement to you about a summer date night is to make a time when you and your spouse can sit down and read through some of your cards and letters you’ve saved. Go out on your back porch to read them, or take them to the lake where you can sit at a picnic table. Just do it. It will remind you where you’ve come from and how special your relationship really is! I fell in love with my husband all over again!
You don’t have any notes? Sit down and write your husband one today and leave it in a special place where he’ll find it. Write it on pretty paper. Spray a little perfume on it. Then tuck it away so you can start that file you’ll be able to read again when you’re old and gray.
Make your own Drive-In. Make the setting outside your home perfect for watching a movie or show on your laptop or tablet. Turn on the patio lights, light candles, get a bowl of popcorn popped and a comfy swing to share!
Bookstore Date– I first shared about this here ,and no matter if you have done it before, this date can be done over and over again and it will be new each time. It’s one of our favorites!
Read your favorite books to one another – or find a new one to read!
Bake cookies together
Watch the sunrise, then make breakfast together
Attend a local baseball game
Go for a long drive
Have a picnic
Play Frisbee
Visit the farmer’s market
Video Record the Story of How You Met & Fell in Love
Cook a Late Night Dinner Together
Write a Prayer List & Pray Together
Make Smoothies or Milkshakes
Share 5 Goals Over a Late Night Snack
Do a Puzzle Together
Play a Game
Have a Chip & Dip Night – Add Conversation
Record Each Other Sharing a Recent Memory
Tackle a FUN Project
Write a Gratitude List about one another
Have an Ice Cream Sundae Night
Search for Funny YouTube Videos
Go to Yard Sales and see who can find the best bargain
Go to the Local Bike Trail and ride bikes.
Enjoy an Outdoor Concert
Begin a Date Night Journal and Write down each time you have a date, what you did and any fun memories you created.
Go to a Theme Park Without your children and leave your phones in the car. Ride all the water rides. Eat the snacks. See the shows. Stay late for the fireworks!

I hope you’ve had a great first week of June, and I hope some of the ideas shared this week will inspire you to create some fun at home this summer! Each day is a gift from God and is worth celebrating! So enjoy!!

Stay refreshed in God’s Word this weekend. We need Him every single day!

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baking · children · Crafts · Family life · home · memories · Motherhood · summertime · Uncategorized

Summer Fun Series (Day Two)

June 7, 2017June 6, 2017 RefreshHer1 Comment

Here we go – another list of fun things for children to enjoy during summer months:

front porch2a

This clever treasure box, which is organized around the principle that anything goes, has ample room for plastic bags of beach sand, seed packets, subway tokens, maps, sea glass, photos, finger paintings, invitations or even a tiny book of best friends’ autographs.

box

Start with a sturdy cardboard box (one with a lid), which your child can label with his name and the date. As he amasses odds and ends, he can tuck them inside or, if he prefers, glue some onto the outside of the box. To give the box a durable finish, brush on a coat of white glue thinned with water or cover with Con-Tact paper.

Make Homemade balls:

balls
CRAFT MATERIALS:
9 (11-inch) balloons (for 3 balls)
Funnel
2 1/4 cups of dried lentils
Scissors
Time needed: Under 1 Hour
1. Stretch the first balloon by inflating it halfway, holding it closed for about 30 seconds, and deflating it. 2. Place a funnel in the balloon’s neck and gradually pour in 3/4 cup of lentils, pushing them in as you go. The balloon should be firm but squeezable. 3. Snip off the balloon’s thick rubber lip. Cut the neck off a second balloon and gently stretch the opening. 4. Ease the second balloon over the filled balloon, tucking in the neck as you go. 5. Cut the neck off the third balloon, stretch the opening, and ease it over the other two. Repeat this process to make a set of three balls, or however many you’d like.
How about making some cute cupcakes on the day your grass gets cut? What a yummy reward! Or make these for a great Father’s Day treat! This idea was on Family Fun web site.

lawn mower cupcake
RECIPE INGREDIENTS:
Chocolate-frosted cupcakes
Coconut, flaked
Green food coloring
Hershey’s Nuggets
M&M’s
Frosting
Black licorice laces
1. For each cupcake, mix a handful of flaked coconut with a few drops of green food coloring. Press a chocolate-frosted cupcake into the coconut to cover. 2. The mower is made with a dark chocolate Hershey’s Nuggets body, brown M&M’s wheels, and a red M&M’s engine, held in place with dabs of frosting. 3. Shape the handle from a piece of black licorice lace, then insert the ends into the cupcake.

Make a simple version of homemade ice cream –

What you’ll need:
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup milk or half & half
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
6 tablespoons rock salt
1 pint-size plastic food storage bag (e.g., Ziploc)
1 gallon-size plastic food storage bag
Ice cubes

How to make it:
Fill the large bag half full of ice, and add the rock salt. Seal the bag.
Put milk, vanilla, and sugar into the small bag, and seal it.
Place the small bag inside the large one, and seal it again carefully.
Shake until the mixture is ice cream, which takes about 5 minutes.
Wipe off the top of the small bag, then open it carefully. Enjoy!

Tips:
A 1/2 cup milk will make about 1 scoop of ice cream, so double the recipe if you want more. But don’t increase the proportions more that that — a large amount might be too big for kids to pick-up because the ice itself is heavy.

Don’t forget some of the good ol‘ standby summer fun things, such as:

Hopscotch on the driveway
Hula hoops
Sprinkler or water hose jump rope
Cardboard boxes – find a refrigerator box and let the kids make a playhouse or puppet stage
Make Popsicles
Play hide and seek just as it’s getting dark. Use flashlights to tag!
Don’t forget the library. There are so many fun things to do there!

Enjoy…summer’s going to be gone before we know it and we’ll be pulling out the sweaters!

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