Category: Refreshment in marriage

Discipleship · home · Marriage · Motherhood · Parenting · refreshment at home · Refreshment in marriage

Keeping Children On the Peripheral

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Many homes today put the children at the center of the home.  Everything revolves around them, their wants, and their preferences.  Of course when you have a baby in your home, you have no choice but to make them the center.  But often we fail to allow them as they grow to move farther away from the center to the peripheral.  Let me explain.
In the book, The Disciplines of the Home by Anne Ortlund, Anne makes a statement I had never heard, but totally agree with and have taught in principle:

“In the home, children should be on the peripheral.”

She goes on to say that if children are at the center, when they are removed, there is a huge gap in the husband/wife relationship. Do you think it’s remotely possible not to make your children the center of your home?
How does one go about not putting them in that place when they require so much time, attention and discipline?
Anne didn’t detail this point, but here are my thoughts –
  1. The children shouldn’t dictate what is going to happen in your home. “I don’t want to go to Pizza Hut for supper! I want to eat at McDonald’s” It’s not that they can’t make the choice sometimes, but when Mom and Dad have made a decision, it should stick.
  2. Mom and Dad need their own time. Children sleeping with their parents should be a rare occasion. Bedtimes give Mom and Dad an opportunity to talk, spend time together playing a game, or share a snack.
  3. Parents need a date night. Don’t let the children’s cries keep you from leaving them occasionally. Let them know you’re going away to make a better home for them.
  4. As the mom, recognize your husband’s needs and make sure you’re meeting those before doing extra things with/for your children. Are you always jumping up to do something for them, and don’t spend time just being with him?
  5. Be sure you’re spending your recreational times together as a couple and not making it the norm for one parent to be running here with one child, and the other taking another child there. Be a family.

We all know that children have many needs – especially when they’re little, but the tendency is to keep allowing them to be needy and being the very center of the family’s circle where the parents ought to be.

Take a good look at the circle of your family; who’s in the middle and who’s on the peripheral? Does there need to be a change?

 

With love,

Christian love · Family life · friends · home · Husband · joy · Love · Marriage · obedience · Refreshment in marriage · Women's roles

Foolish Choices that Could Destroy Your Marriage

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Someone told me recently that they had enjoyed reading my blog until they began reading my posts about The Foolish Woman! They were teasing, but the implication was that it’s not always easy to read things that hit home and bring conviction. I trust that you will read on anyway, and consider the description of the foolish woman from Proverbs 7.

Proverbs 7:6-10 reads, “For at the window of my house I looked through my casement. And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, passing through the street near her (the foolish woman’s) corner, and he went the way to her house, In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot and subtil of heart.”

I see here that another foolish characteristic of this woman is the choices she makes. She’s going out in the evening when it is dark outside. This is a romantic setting and she is setting herself and this foolish man up for a huge fall by being out at this time of night. She has no concern how this might look to others who might see her standing on the street alone with this man.

What a warning this must be to us! We have to let our mind run ahead to look out for situations that could put our testimony at jeopardy. Some potential danger zones would be:

  • Having a man in your home when you are there alone.
  • Listening to a man tell you about his marriage problems or you talking to him about yours.
  • Sending private emails to men (Why not send a carbon copy to his wife?).
  • Having chats with men on the Internet.
  • Riding alone in the car with a man.

Some may say, “My goodness! Are you suspicious of everyone?” No, but we need to make good, wise choices before we are in a situation that destroys our testimony and possibly our marriage.   What seems harmless could lead to other things.

If we guard our hearts and are also thoughtful enough to protect the men around us, we will know that our choices will label us as wise instead of foolish.

Were any of these surprising to you?

Make wise choices and guard your marriage.

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Christian love · Family life · home · Husband · joy · Love · Marriage · refreshment at home · Refreshment in marriage

Make More Deposits

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While waiting in line at the bank, a man developed a very loud case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller’s window, the hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took the man’s check and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account.

After a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that she would be unable to cash his check.”Why not?” the man asked incredulously.

”I’m sorry, sir,” she replied, ” but our computer indicates that you do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of fact,” she continued, “our records show your account overdrawn in excess of $5000.””It can’t be!” he cried. “You have to be kidding!” “Yes, I am,” she answered with a smile, counting out his cash. “But you will notice that your hiccups are gone.”

Probably most of us know the sinking feeling to know of one time or another when there weren’t sufficient funds in the bank to cover our withdrawals. It makes for a rough day, doesn’t it?

While we are ever so careful to guard our bank account from being over drawn, I wonder what the records would show on the monthly statement of our marriage? How many withdrawals have you made? Wives need love, affection, attention, compliments, encouragement, dates, pampering, help around the house, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on… Each one of those represent a withdrawal from our marriage account.

We can also make withdrawals by nagging, belittling, giving a cold shoulder, being unforgiving, negligent to his needs, etc.

Now, think back on this past week – what kind of deposits have you made? Not the monetary kind – but the relational kind.

  • Have you shown respect for your husband with your words?
  • Have you elevated him in front of others?
  • Have you thanked him for being a provider for your family?
  • Have you done a thoughtful gesture for him? (Bought his favorite candy bar, written him a note, made his favorite meal, took him out on a special date or created one at home- you get the idea)
  • Have you spent time doing something he enjoys even though it might not be your favorite activity?
  • Have you done something to lighten his load?

These things (and many others) are ways we make deposits into our marriage. There’s a double blessing here – we’re meeting the needs of our husband and rediscovering what a joy it is to be married. It’s fun! It is God’s plan and He can only do what is good!

Take a thorough check into your “account” and make sure you’re not overdrawn! If it’s been a while since you’ve put something into your marriage, you might surprise your husband so much you’ll scare his hiccups away!

Refresh you marriage today!!

Come back the rest of this week for more marriage posts that will encourage you to make your relationship the best it can be!

With love,

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accessories · Husband · Pastor's Wife · Refreshment in marriage

What the Preacher’s Wife Wore

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Here are five days of outfits from least week.  I hope these videos don’t just entertain you, but also inspire you to pull out some things you’ve had for a while and dress up for your husband, even if it means adding a scarf or necklace!

I don’t post these videos because I think I am a fashion guru, but only to encourage you to use what you have, purchase things on sale, and mix and match your clothes.  It’s a fun challenge to me to do all of that!

Let me know if you enjoy these videos and if you’d like to see them continue.

Refresh your outfits!

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Family life · Husband · memories · Mentoring · Refreshment · Refreshment in marriage · summertime

Our North Myrtle Beach Favorites

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As you may have read, my husband and I were on vacation last week.  We love the North Myrtle Beach area because it’s relatively quiet (especially in late April!).  They’ve added lots of great shopping and restaurants in that area, too, making it one of our favorite places to retreat!  Today I am sharing some of our favorite places and activities when we’re there!

Walking/Running on the beach.

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We love to get up early and walk/run while the sun rises.  It’s invigorating, it’s beautiful and it’s fun!  Time together strolling later in the day is also fun.  Hand in hand, we stop for a look at the pier or a beautiful shell, or to watch the parasailors do their thing.  It’s just so relaxing to walk the shoreline!

Enjoying an ocean front room.

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We spend lots of time on the balcony.  I had my quiet time out there each morning.  We ate our meals out there.  The door is kept open so we can hear the beach any time we’re in the room!  Being ocean-front is like living ON the beach without the sand!

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Eating at Fun restaurants.

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There’s a breakfast place we love – Golden Griddle.  It’s so inexpensive, but the food is great.  I always order from the kids menu and it’s plenty of food for the morning!  There’s always a line out the door, letting you know it’s really good (and worth waiting for!)

We also make sure we eat at Sea Captain’s House.  Their hush puppies alone make it worth the visit!  We had salmon fixed with a Southern twist and it was delicious!  We always share a meal and both of us are filled!!  The view from the window is spectacular!

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Another favorite place not pictured is California Pizza.  The pizza is great, but we also love the atmosphere of sitting in their open air restaurant and enjoying the sights and sounds around us!

Time together!

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What’s better than not feeling in a hurry to get to the next thing?  Time together at the beach is great for our marriage, even as empty-nesters!

The sky!

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These pictures are totally unfiltered.  Every day the view is different and beautiful, pointing to an Awesome Creator!

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We’re home and back into ministry and our daily routines, but how fun it is to look back at our pictures and remember our time away.

How good the Lord is that we vacation at the beach and come home to the mountains! We are indeed blessed!

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Where do you love going on vacation?  What do you do to refresh yourself?

Thanks for stopping in to see our vacation favorites!

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